I'm floored - Page 2

[soso-lynn]

People with "chemical imbalances" do not act like every other stereotypical abusive people, they tend to burst out in craziness and have no control over what they are doing or saying. If he can do all that talking and manipulating, do not even consider the option of his behiaviour being a medical issue.

Also, friendship should be absolutely out of the question. Friendship after a breakup is good for normal, healthy relationships. In abusive ones, it does nothing but reward him for his abuse and leaving the door open for it to continue.

I would limit all contact to discussing the kids (and even that should be very limited, especially if you end up in a custody battle). Act like it is a definite and complete break. If several years from now things are different, you will surely be able to see it.

[MissLotus]

I think it's good that you are wary and are keeping things separate. And I totally get the poster who said there's no harm in waiting for two years - I completely agree in concept that two years isn't a big deal especially when you have a new baby and little ones - it's awfully hard to date anyway - and even more so because I believe that everybody should know how to be "alone" and feel okay about it - to give themselves breathing room after a relationship. BUT - the thing that concerns me about the "two years" thing is that by making it a promise to this guy, I feel that gives him a sense of entitlement that is totally unecessary. If you want to take a couple years for YOU, then awesome. But don't do it for his sake; he hardly deserves vows or promises.