I have a dear, dear friend with a dear, difficult boy who I want to be a better support to.
Her son is 10, smart, funny,cute as a dog gone button, has pretty severe ADHD, some sensory issues and his newest, I think for my friend the hardest , is his explosive temper combined with the new found penchant for using curse words even I cringe at..and that's sayin' somethin'
He will wake up in the morning and just start cursing and yelling at his mama..and it just breaks her heart. He will explode at school when something doesn't go his way and curse, scream and kick, or punch the offending child. I don't want to just stand there and make her feel bad that I'm "watching". I don't know how to explain it. All I know is that my sweet, strong friend is sad, and embarressed and I hope there is more I can do to let her know I don't care if he drops the F-bomb and tackles his little brother..I don't judge.
He is in therapy, and on meds..and I tell her that she's a good mama.
Is there anything else I can say?
I've watched him for her for a once for a couple of hours and he was really good for me. I tried to lay out the rules and consequences right when he walked in the door (ie: you curse in front of my 2 yr old and you will be scrubbing out my fridge) Which my friend says is the best way to set expectations. I also told him I know he'll be good especially with my little one, who he is very gentle and sweet to.
Should I offer to watch him more? Am I equipped to do that? How else could I handle his outbursts..and really is there anything else I can convey to my friend to let her know she's a rockin' mama and her kiddo is "good kid" even though his behavior is shocking to most? He really is too, he's got some great attributes, but they're harder to see when he's yelling m****r f****r at the top of his lungs
Is there another way I can encourge her? She's pretty down lately..and I know I can't really fix anything for her.. but I am hoping that maybe one of you mamas that have gone through this might have a few words that I can use to keep her spirits up while she weathers the storms.
TIA
*fyi - I have a 6yr old who has gone through some mild sensory issues so I sort of have a reference point and they both attend the same school which also has an inclusive as well as a self contained autism program, so we've been lucky to learn so much about how different kids process. My 6yr old's best friend is this boy's younger brother as well, so we all spend a fair amount of time together*
Her son is 10, smart, funny,cute as a dog gone button, has pretty severe ADHD, some sensory issues and his newest, I think for my friend the hardest , is his explosive temper combined with the new found penchant for using curse words even I cringe at..and that's sayin' somethin'
He will wake up in the morning and just start cursing and yelling at his mama..and it just breaks her heart. He will explode at school when something doesn't go his way and curse, scream and kick, or punch the offending child. I don't want to just stand there and make her feel bad that I'm "watching". I don't know how to explain it. All I know is that my sweet, strong friend is sad, and embarressed and I hope there is more I can do to let her know I don't care if he drops the F-bomb and tackles his little brother..I don't judge.
He is in therapy, and on meds..and I tell her that she's a good mama.
Is there anything else I can say?
I've watched him for her for a once for a couple of hours and he was really good for me. I tried to lay out the rules and consequences right when he walked in the door (ie: you curse in front of my 2 yr old and you will be scrubbing out my fridge) Which my friend says is the best way to set expectations. I also told him I know he'll be good especially with my little one, who he is very gentle and sweet to.
Should I offer to watch him more? Am I equipped to do that? How else could I handle his outbursts..and really is there anything else I can convey to my friend to let her know she's a rockin' mama and her kiddo is "good kid" even though his behavior is shocking to most? He really is too, he's got some great attributes, but they're harder to see when he's yelling m****r f****r at the top of his lungs
Is there another way I can encourge her? She's pretty down lately..and I know I can't really fix anything for her.. but I am hoping that maybe one of you mamas that have gone through this might have a few words that I can use to keep her spirits up while she weathers the storms.
TIA
*fyi - I have a 6yr old who has gone through some mild sensory issues so I sort of have a reference point and they both attend the same school which also has an inclusive as well as a self contained autism program, so we've been lucky to learn so much about how different kids process. My 6yr old's best friend is this boy's younger brother as well, so we all spend a fair amount of time together*
