Please reassure me, cause I'm getting REALLY burned out

[Kindofcrunchymummy]

Nighttime is getting super hard again DS is almost 10 months, and he sleeps in his crib, in his own room. Co-sleeping just doesn't work for us. I obviously have nothing against it, but it's just not right for our family. When we bring him into bed, nobody sleeps, we all toss and turn, and I end up on the very edge of the bed trying not to fall off while King DS is spread eagle in the middle. I'm sore for days afterwards.

ANYWAYS....on a good night, he only wakes up about twice. I go in, feed him, and go back to bed. Lately, though, he's waking up more and more. Teething maybe? Growth spurt? Or, maybe he's getting accostomed to falling asleep in our laps. He takes 2 naps a day, in my lap. I don't mind those, I like the snuggles. But at night, more often then not, I'll fall asleep nursing him (or DH falls asleep rocking him) and we end up in there a good portion of the night. Then when we try to put him back down, he notices, and wakes up.

I guess I'm not really looking to change it. We are going back home for 10 days in a couple of months, and I figure any changes we try to make will be completly undone when he enters this totally new environment. I'm not really sure what to expect sleep-wise when we are home, but I guess that's a seperate issue altogether.

What I need is some reassurance that all this extra cuddle time is good for him, that he's benefiting from it even if I feel like pulling my hair out. I'm a SAHM and approaching burnout. He's with me ALL THE TIME. Nightime is supposed to be my break...but it's disappearing. No family in town, so no babysitters, ever. DH and I haven't had one date since he's been born, and there isn't a lot I can do to change it.

Please, please tell me something to bring me back from the edge. I want to nurse at least another year, but at night I wonder if I can handle it. I want to push him away and yell "Leave my poor nipples alone!" I need some positive words from you guys, or I might go nuts. For reals.

[Kuba'sMama]

Hi;
I totally get how hard this is. And I know that you don't want to change it too much. But maybe making small little changes would help?
For example, why not lie down with him to nurse for naps and then popping him off the boob and "sneaking away"? I did that and the kids got used to it very quickly. That's what kept me sane for the nursing to nap for 2 + years. Plus you will get a much needed break too during the day. You could also try something like that at night. Put a mattress on the floor either in his room or your room (whatever you prefer), lie down to nurse him and have him fall asleep that way. It's much easier in my experience to just pop off the boob, rather than manually trying to place a sleeping child off a lap and into a crib (never worked out for us without waking). I've done the lying down to sleep and then sneaking away thing with both my kids and it did work for us quite well.
well, that's all I got! Good luck!!

[Louisep]

Ten months was a really hard time for me too. The only thing that kept me from losing it was dh giving me lie ins every morning before he went to work and then a long lie in at the weekends. Can your dh do something similar, even to give you a break when he gets home? I also made myself nap with ds every time. Can you switch from having your ds nap in your lap to lying down next to you?

We are in a much better place now. I decided to partially night wean at 12 months. 2 months is not long to hold out if you think partial nightweaning might help you continue nursing in the long run.

My ds now wakes 2-3 times a night and u consider that great. His crib is side carred so maybe I am more rested than you bc I don't have to get out of bed?have you thought about sidecarring?

Hugs. It's going to be okay. You'll get through this.

[csteely]

Hugs to you! Please don't let yourself burn out. Can you find someone to trade babysitting with so you can get a few hours on your own, or for a date? My husband and I recently went on our first date (an afternoon matinee, in the THEATER) at about 9 months and it felt great! We did it again the next month - we have friends with a babe about the same age and we're going to try to do it every month or so.

We also use the futon on the floor in her room (which is babyproofed) and that works well to put her down at night.

I'm right around the same age with my DD and her sleep is getting squirrely too. They have a lot going on at this age! Have you read this? http://www.askmoxie.org/2008/03/talk-about-the.html

And yes this cuddle time is good for him, but maybe even more important is a mother who gets a break every once in a while!

[Kindofcrunchymummy]

Thanks everybody for your responses. We are working on a babystitter so we can get a date, but so far it hasn't panned out.

Getting something like a futon mattress is a good idea, I will look into that. It seems like a good compromise.

And CSteely, thanks for the link. It's always good to know you're not alone. I've tried (a modified version of) CIO, and while some improvements were made, regressions were inevitable as he got sick or hit some new milestone. It doesn't seem worth it to go through the struggle again. I'm just trying to ride the wave, and make it through.

Thanks for the support, please keep it coming! I'm getting about 4 hours of (broken) sleep a night, and it's taking it's toll. I'm more exhausted now then when he was a newborn.