Playing outside by themselves

[MtBikeLover]

I have in the past let the kids play for a few minutes at a time by themselves in the front yard with the door wide open so I could hear everything. I'd like to start letting them play in the backyard by themselves but wondering what others opinions are on this.

Situation/Set-up: We live in a fairly safe suburban neighborhood. (I say fairly because there have been a few break-ins lately in ours and a surrounding neighborhood but no one has ever been harmed. One person was even home when they tried to break in and the thieves took off when they saw the resident.) There are lots of kids in the neighborhood and when the weather is nice, there are always people out jogging and walking dogs, pushing strollers, etc. We have a tot park right in our backyard (literally) so that attracts a lot of parents/kids and unfortunately, also teens who have no other place to hang out.

We live on a corner in a neighborhood, most people drive slow (25-30 mph), and I know just about all the neighbors.

My kids always want to be outside when the weather is nice and I want them outside but I also have to cook dinner when i get home from work. Would you let your kids play outside at the park by themselves in this scenario? My kids are 5 & 7 and are very responsible. And we have had the stranger danger talk a lot.

Also, 7yo DS wants to ride his bike a lot? When would you feel comfortable letting your child ride around the block by himself (again, in a neighborhood with no main streets anywhere close)?

[kittywitty]

It depends on the dependability of the child. My oldest three are allowed to go out together or the older two (9 and 8 yo) can go out by themselves. It's been this way for about a year, but we live in a small town in a residential area with a catholic church across the street. Our neighbors are pretty dependable (except one who we watch out for) and they stay in our yard or ride their bikes around the block and always ask before going to the park across the street, etc. first. This is how it was when I was little, too, so I'm comfortable with my kids doing it. They need some room to run.

I think you're perfectly fine letting them go out. So long as they know the rules (and it wouldn't help watching from a distance the first time to make sure) and such, then why not?

[Alyantavid]

Depends on the kid.

I started letting my oldest go out by himself around 5ish. We live in the country but we share a lane with several other houses. Most of our neighbors know that my kids and the other 2 kids on the lane are always out and to drive slow and watch for them. I did have to make sure he knew his boundaries before I'd let him out by himself. He knows where he can and can't go and to watch out for cars. And he does very well.

My younger son will be 4 in a few months and I don't let him out by himself. I've left the both of them out together for a few minutes at times. He does know how far he can go and if a car even slows down like it might turn on our lane, he runs back to the house.

My main issue with letting my kids out is dogs. Our dog is super protective and follows my kids everywhere. Our neighbors with kids have the exact same dog and when they come over, the dogs don't mesh well. And sometimes random dogs show up and that doesn't go over very well. So I do have to watch for that.

[mamadelbosque]

I realize our situation is a bit different (we're the last ones on a dead end dirt road, with closest neighbors being 7/10 of a mile up the road... nothin below us but the lake 1/2 mile away...), but DS1 is allowed outside while I make lunch/dinner/whatever and he just turned 3. I look out the window and chat with him every few minutes to make sure he hasn't gone off, and he knows if he dissapears/doesn't answer even once he comes inside immediatly, so he's pretty good about staying where I can see him

[ann_of_loxley]

It really depends on the child and the location/situation. I don't know your children, but based on your location/situation - if your children were mine, then I would totally be comfortable with them playing outside 'by themselves'.

I have been comfortable with my son playing out front by himself since the age of three - and a year sooner than that in our safe enclosed back garden. We live in the middle of the country (like - countryside lol - A small village where everyone knows your name lol) at the end of a cul-de-sac away from any main roads. Theres lot of grass and 'woodsy' bits about. He doesn't go far and I can always hear him. But then my son is also pretty cautious (far from boistrous and adventurous) and wary of 'strangers'. If he had a different personality and different capabilities (Like I dont have to worry about him trying to climb a tree or anything - he wont even go down a slide! lol) and if we lived in the city or something - then our situation would be very different! hehe

And idea - two way radios? You can get them where one line is always open (so their line) - that way you can always hear them and what they are up to. They are fairly cheap for good ones these days that have a long range. Basically like a high tech baby monitor! lol

In all honesty - I worry more about the judgment of others than the safety of my son. I know my son is safe and I know he has a good head on his shoulders - but with all the media hype and ideals that we should raise our children in bubbles - people will and do judge you for how much 'freedom' you allow/don't allow your children. I realise there is a whole list of things that are different now/today than when I was growing up (and I am not that old - I am only 26) - but when I was younger, we had much much more roaming freedom and I didn't grow up in the country! lol

[sweetcheeks]

My older two (just turned 7 and almost 5) play outside by themselves all the time in both the front yard and back yard. In the winter, I don't allow them to leave the front yard, since it's too cold to leave any windows or doors open to listen for them. But the rest of the year, they have free reign of our block. We have a fenced back yard and I allowed DS1 to start playing out there by himself at 3, with me checking in every 5-10 minutes. DD was allowed to start going outside in the back yard without myself or DH supervising when she was 3 also. They both know not to talk to anyone they don't know and if anyone they don't know tries to talk to them, they are to run back to the house.

I have yet to let them ride their bikes or scooters around the block by themselves. They're both new without training wheels bikers and a bit unsteady yet. Also the cross street to the south is busy street (but has a wide sidewalk) and the cross street to the north doesn't have a sidewalk.

[lotusdebi]

Yes, I'd be comfortable with all of that.

[hipumpkins]

Originally Posted by lotusdebi

Yes, I'd be comfortable with all of that.

Me too

[KMK_Mama]

I let all my kids play out in the backyard, but not in the front. I have no idea when I will be ok with that. We did have two attempted kidnappings and 1 sexual assault close in proximity to our home about 2 years ago and I've just never been comfortable with it. We live in a nice area, but after those incidences there was discussions on the news about criminals targeting our area because its on the outskirts of town and is an easier target.

[spirit4ever]

I would be totally ok with my kids in the back yard too, and if I wasn't so close to a busy street I'd be fine with them playing in the front yard as well..

hmmm well maybe not my 5 year, he is way to spontaneous and would just walk away!!!!!!!! So i'd stick to the back yard for him!!!!!!!

[earthmama369]

I'd be comfortable with what you describe.

I have an almost 4- and a 5-year-old. I've been letting them playing in the backyard together for about a year now and have let the 5-year-old play out there by herself since she was 3, as long as she stayed where I could see her. She seemed to really value the trust and independence, even at 3. She's a quirky kid, though, so your mileage may vary.

Right now the rules stand that they can play in the backyard as long as they stay in the backyard where I can see them and I'm available to be near the back of the house. Usually I take this opportunity to sit at the dining room table by the window with my laptop and catch up on work or *gasp* do the dishes in the kitchen.

I don't let them play in the front yard unless I'm actually out there, because even though we live in a suburban neighborhood on a cul-de-sac with a lot of other kids, there are a few people on the street who tend to race up and down it in their cars.

[Hey Mama!]

We live on a main road for our small, small town. I let my girls play in the side yard and ride their bikes on the side street. There is a park across the street from my house and I haven't yet let them cross the street alone and go play over there. So, yes, I think it would be fine for your children to play outside alone.

[hakeber]

depends on the kid and the area. In our last house, no. It was set back but on a major road made all the more busy by an on ramp to the freeway about 1/2 mile down, that opened days after moving in.

This house I have no problem. DS is five.

[LynnS6]

Yes, I have let my kids play outside under those circumstances. 2 years ago, our kids were 4 and 7, and while I checked on them, they were outside for 10-15 minutes at a time without my direct supervision. Mostly they were riding their bikes down the block (we live on a hill and at the end of the street it's flat) or playing in other kids' yards.

Last year when they were 5 and 8, I checked less often. This year they'll be 6 and 9, and I fully expect to send them out and check on them every 30 minutes.

[kittykat2481]

I let my 27 month old play outside in the back yard by himself with the back door open so I can hear him. It's a great way to be able to make dinner, etc and let him get some fresh air. No idea when I'll let him play out from alone. We live in the suburbs, but it's still pretty busy. There is a group of boys always riding their bikes around the neighborhood, and they look to be about 8-9. We'll see where we live and how I feel when he gets to be around that age.

[lucysmom]

Yes, I would be comfortable with all of those choices as long as you were confident the kids would exercise good judgment in unexpected situations.

[annethcz]

I would have no problems with a 5 & 7 yo playing outside under those conditions.

[mistymama]

Yes, I'd be comfortable with what you describe. In fact, it's a beautiful sunny day right now and my ds is riding his scooter around the nieghborhood. He knows the boundaries of where he is supposed to go, and I feel totally comfortable with it.