Feeling frustrated and desperate about potty training - Page 3

[RN-Mommy]

Hi, I just wanted to add a couple of things to the discussion.

First, I totally can understand the "if i hear X one more time..." frustration, however I do think it is clouding your perspective a little, only because I've seen several moms above mention that their LO pl'd all of a sudden, not at 2 or 18 mo, but at 3 and older. Your DD is not yet three which means your time is very close, something to for IMO.

I do agree with the idea of dropping it all together for a short while, it could even be as short a time as 2 weeks, still a loooooong time to a 2 yo I think, so she has time to "reset".

The other thing I wanted to mention, it seems like a small thing, and so likely you have tried it already. But privacy is a big part of the equation, some kids just *need* to be alone. So I am wondering is she left to sit on the potty on her own at all?

I usually have my son sit on the toilet seat w/ a ring cushion thing, and stand in the hallway just outside the door where he cannot see me, but I can hear him if he has any issues, and also I can hear when he is finished so he doesn't sit there longer than necessary and I don't have to keep coming in to check on him. Again, this is probably a "duh" idea, but I just wanted to throw it out there in case you hadn't tried it.

[CatsCradle]

I understand your frustration, OP. Our DD started a Montessori program when she was two and one of the requirements at entrance was that she be 80% potty "trained." In my gut and according to others, I knew that it was going to be a difficult task. It was hit and miss, and on the first day of Montessori, I showed up with DD and a pack of pull-ups. Over the course of the next year, I was told that sometimes DD went to the potty and other times she didn't. It was the same at home. She wore little girl undies on the weekends, but more often than not, she would stand there looking at me...starting to poop...knowing that I knew.

Well, she turned three and nothing changed. Lo and behold, when she was 39 months old, she woke up one day and said "I'm not wearing pull-ups anymore." Since then, we had one accident at the bus stop because she couldn't hold it, but my mind was boggled at how she just one day woke up and decided that she would use the potty all the time. So, it will happen one day, OP, just when you least expect it.

[pacificbliss]

I am so sorry. It sounds frustrating. I agree with pp who said take a break. I would give it at least 2 weeks. Tell your DH so he agrees no discussing it with DD for that time. Occasionally say something like, "I'l be right back I need to go potty" Say it to your DH and let your DD watch if she wants but don't discuss it with her. Just do your thing. If she asks to sit on the potty let her of course and stand somewhere out of sight. In other words, it's a nomal part of the day but there is NO pressure.
At the end of the time ask her if she wants to wear her big grl undies and if she says yes put them on her. We did this with DS and just comitted to doing the laundry. If he pooped we took his ndrwear off and put the poop in the potty. When he had an accident we just said, "Uh-oh, accidents happen, no problem, let's clean you up."
It worked for DS. Won't work for every child but wanted to try and give you something you could try.

[mummyofan]

I know you've had alot of replies already so i won't repeat any.
My son was 3.5 when he pottty trained, and he's 4 in July and JUST pooping there now, too.
My 2 year old has been sitting on there doing nothing, but getting excited for about 3 months; I've NO intention of taking it further till she's ready, but it's just there to illustrate how different they all are.

I do agree with all they've said. I did go through it all, and there's not 1 crazy suggestion (except your DH's)

[Sydnee]

I know you don't want to hear it, but really, she'll do it when she's ready. My first daughter was exactly 2, and never had accidents, DD#2 was almost 4. I also flet frustrated, but I am not one to push them, it always backfires. DD#3 was 2.5, and honsetly just did it herself. I have never ever done charts, rewards, etc.