Please give me some insight and help me make a decision!!

[mom2lucy]

Sorry for the vague title, and I appreciate anyone reading this and taking the time to respond. Here's the situation (I'll try to be as brief as possible):

-DH, DD (2 yrs), and I are supposed to travel 5 hours to my SIL's house for Easter. I'll be 36 weeks pregnant. I don't know if I should go or not.

-DH and DD are going regardless of my decision. I have no pregnancy complications and my OB is fine with me traveling. I really would like to stay home to get some rest and some things organized for the birth. But I feel really anxious about them traveling alone.

-I'm a little concerned about the car trip as normally one of us sits in the back to entertain DD and give her snacks, water etc. I also know how DH gets when he's with his brother and BIL-they tend to just hang out together, drink beer, and pretty much forget that they're parents. DH has assured me that he will be focused on DD, but I know that he can be a bit scatterbrained and may have a hard time balancing things.

-MIL will also be there, but she's pretty unreliable as her focus is spending time with the other grandkids that she doesn't see on a regular basis (she lives in town with us).

-This isn't a dealbreaker but something that I'm thinking about-I try to feed DD pretty healthy foods and will usually make a trip to the store to have a few things on hand to supplement what's being served (the stuff they eat is, IMHO kinda gross). I know it will be too much for DH to think about that also.

So I don't know what to do. I know she'll be fine, and I'm sure it will be a good experience for them to go together, but I just feel so nervous about it. But the thought of traveling at 36 weeks pregnant is also pretty bad.

Any insight would be greatly appreciated!!!!

[betsyj]

I would send them and stay home. This could be a beautiful weekend for you to find peace and center yourself for the coming birth and hectic few months ahead.

A chance to clean your home, or just lay in bed. Plus, this is a great oportunity for your dd and your dh to get used to relying on each other-a good idea since once the baby comes you will be stretched very thin.

[pianojazzgirl]

A few thoughts...

At Christmas time dh went on a trip to his parents house - just him and ds (who was 2 yrs 2 months old at the time). I was a total wreck wondering how ds would be in the car (I have always been "the entertainer" on car trips and this time I would not be there for the 6 hr each way trip). I worried about how the visit would go - that dh would let ds veg in front of the tv for hours and eat crap. I worried that ds would miss me too much. Etc...

Well, the trip went absolutely fine. Dh found his own ways of dealing with ds. Apparently ds did wonderfully in the car - chatted away and napped a portion of the time. Yes, they maybe watched a bit too much tv, and ate too many bowls of icecream, but ya know, it was a short visit, it was great for dh and ds to bond a little bit more, and it was great for MIL to be able to step in in a more "maternal" role towards ds (who had always so greatly preferred me to anyone else during previous visits that they had never had much chance to bond).

And, put in to perspective that soon you will have a 2nd child. Anything that helps strengthen the bond between your dh and dd is great. Anything that helps your dh learn new ways of helping and soothing your dd is fantastic. With a new baby in the mix it often comes about that this is the time for some serious daddy-big sibling time while mama is busy nursing and healing. So, getting your dd used to daddy time and daddy used to dd time now will only help in the months to come.

Also, take the break while you can get it mama!

[NightOwlwithowlet]

My husband has been taking our son to visit my ILs since he was 19 months old. Yay, Dh lets him stay up late, he eats junk food, and I'm sure he's watching too much tv. My ILs are lax about that stuff, but at almost 8 years old, my son as very strong ties to my husband's family and culture. He loves his cousins, when he is there he is just one of the kids, instead of an only child. They go up one weekend a month without me (I'm usually working). As long as there is no safety issues (FIL locked up his guns) and they adhere to my kid's diet (he has food allergies), I'm okay with the rest of it.

[TiredX2]

Moved to Toddlers

[LuminosaJane]

I'd send them and stay home too. I always remind myself that it's one day in 365 and a little junk food, tv or whatever is ok. Plus, everyone in attendance loves your dd and wants her to be happy and safe. Not the same as a mama, but more than enough for a lo to enjoy spending time with family. Enjoy your rest--I'm sure you'll appreciate it in a few weeks!

[calebsmommy25]

I think you should let them go and you should stay home. You can tend to the new baby's things and you can rest in a nice peaceful house. I have always had anxiety over the times dp takes ds out alone because I am not there. I know things will not be done the way I do them, but I have come to learn that he is his father and just because it isn't my way doesn't mean it is the wrong way. Dp has his way when they are together, I have mine...when we are all together, it is my way. Pack some healthy snacks for dd, and a few other things you find essential and leave it at that.

I think it would be a good bonding experience for them. Stay home and relax Mama! You'll have the time to prepare yourself for your new bundle of love who will be joining you soon.

[AKislandgirl]

I would let them go. As others have said it will be a good bonding experience for them before the new babe arrives. Pack a cooler with some healthy favorites and send them off. As far as your DH being scatterbrained its probably because he knows that you are there too. He'll have to be on it because he's the only one. Enjoy some rest and peace before your new one arrives. They will probably have a blast!

[mom2lucy]

Thank you so much for the replies! So many good points were brought up and has really helped me decide to stay home. I'm SO looking forward to a quiet weekend!!!
Thanks so much everyone!

[lifeguard]

Send them & stay home. Can mil travel with them so that if need be one of them can sit in the back with her?

[starlein26]

Originally Posted by pianojazzgirl

Anything that helps strengthen the bond between your dh and dd is great. Anything that helps your dh learn new ways of helping and soothing your dd is fantastic. With a new baby in the mix it often comes about that this is the time for some serious daddy-big sibling time while mama is busy nursing and healing. So, getting your dd used to daddy time and daddy used to dd time now will only help in the months to come.

Also, take the break while you can get it mama!

[FREEmom1120]

Send them! omg. send them. We started sending dd1 to Grandma's one night a week (in town!) after dd2 came. And all I can think now is "why did I not do this sooner?!?"