Quote:
Originally Posted by khaoskat  The judge cannot force you to bottle feed or formula feed your child, neither can your soon to be x.
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i respectfully disagree. this is only partially true. part of why the NCP gets "parenting time" is so that they get the freedom to make their own decisions regarding the care of their child. when your LO is with your ex, ex may feed whatever on earth he feels like feeding the child. he is not the tiniest bit obligated to give your milk to LO. if he chooses to feed ABM, he certainly may. and many judges have ordered weaning when it looked like bf was the reason NCPs were being denied visitation.
having said that...call LLL immediately. my exdh left me when i was 9wks pg with ds2. i had CLW ds1 and never once used a bottle, and planned a repeat for ds2. i was terrified that something like this would happen to me, so i called LLL who gave me the number of a lawyer who specialized in BF/custody issues. her name was Liz Baldwin. unfortunately (i did not know it at the time) she was terminally ill when we spoke. she has since passed, but her writings are easily found on the LLL site. i spoke with her in 2001 so by now another atty may have stepped up for LLL.
also, please check this out:
http://www.kathydettwyler.org/detletter.htm
it mostly refers to extended bf, but also touches on separation. kathy gives her #, so call her and see what she can offer.
another thing to keep in mind: if you went back to work, the earliest would likely be 6 wks pp and for only about 8-9 hrs/day max. that should be the bare minimun guideline for infant/mother separation. an overnight is usually 12-24 hrs. way way too long, even at 6 wks.
will your ped testify that you LO will be harmed by separation before bf is well established (possible refusal of unfamiliar bottle nipple leading to malnutrition, harm to gut by ABM)? will your ob/mw testify that you are at risk for engorgement/mastitis if you are forced to endure long hrs away from your LO? can you get a professional to attest to the psychological harm to the LO of too-early separation?
i followed liz baldwins advice to the letter and was never separated from my son until he was just a bit over a yr old, and then only for 1-2 hrs every 2 wks. he loved his daddy and was fine with leaving my apt with ex. his first overnight was at 3 yrs of age. we did one overnight per month for the next few yrs. now at almost 8yo we are on a aregular EOW shedule. your sitch is tricky bc the order is already in effect (never heard of that before?!). if i was in your shoes...and please know that this is so not even close to professional advice...anyway, i would fall off the face of the earth somewhere about 38 wks pg and not show my face again until my LO was about 3 yrs old. no way in hell i'd let anyone take my baby away from me. i'm sorry you must deal with this. best wishes to you and your 2 dc.
