Feeling melancholy.

[zannster]

I've been getting a little excited about labor starting and this whole process. But off and on, I'm also kind of depressed. Sometimes it really seems that other people are more excited about this baby than I am. I feel really bummed that things are going to change so much for DS and I. I feel like I am betraying him, which I know is dumb. I'm going to miss the relative ease of the life we have now, with just a 5-year-old. I think I'm going to be emotionally fried for a while. I hate feeling bad about this. I'm sure I'll bond with the baby just fine, but even that feels wrong right now. *sigh*

[judybean]

I can (could?) completely relate to those feelings. Never think they're not valid, because they are! You're right -- things ARE about to change... and honestly, the relationship you have with your son *won't* be the same later... But just because it will be different doesn't mean it's bad!! ... I think a mother experiences feelings like this especially with the birth of a second child (I know I did... and I felt terrible about so much for it).

AND, I can relate to getting a bit... hmm... nervous? .. about the prospect of your relatively easy life with a five-year-old getting completely overhauled by a tiny baby who doesn't need much, but does demand a TON of TIME! My girls were (haha.. and still are) 8, 6, and 4 when dd4 was born. They're pretty independent and quite... easy! I could just send them all out to play in the yard so I could get stuff done! .. Now? Holy heck, I tried to figure it out one day (but can't recall.. such is my brain these days), but I spend a TON of hours just SITTING -- because nursing takes a lot of time! Hours and hours per day!

BUT... I still think it's worth it

I'm glad you're able to realize and share these feelings now.. it's best to work through them and process them before birth.. because something like this could stall things I think (I ran into some huge issues/stalls during dd4s birth). You *can* take time to 'grieve' for the relationship that won't ever be the same with your ds... it's okay! And healthy even! ... I think getting past that or working through it will make life with your new babe even more special.

(or.. that's my wordy hey-I-have-two-hands-because-baby-is-sleeping-on-my-lap response)

[[hugs]]

[Right of Passage]

[organicmom3]

I can identify with you...I remember feeling that way about my second....this time around I am more worried about my relationship with the first two changing....they are 15 and 11! Talk about changing family dynamics...they are excited, but I'm not sure they really understand how much things will change...hopefully it will be mostly for the better and their excitement continues....but I don worry about negative aspects that will change within our family..

dh thinks it will bring us all together, closer.....I'm not so sure....we shall see........
..

[Deir]

[Plummeting]

I *completely* understand! DD will be 6 in May and I have those same feelings. I will be honest in saying that for me they've actually been a little worse since DD2 was born Sunday. I've seen how little I've been able to do with DD1, since DD2 needs so much time to nurse...and nurse...and nurse...and nurse. I can't really do anything with DD1 right now, and I feel incredibly guilty about it. I'm dealing with it as best I can, and for me part of that includes accepting that this is a totally normal feeling. I think that might be especially so for people like us, who did wait several years before having a second child. I could be wrong about that, but that's how it seems to me anyway.

Anyway, you are definitely not alone and I think it will pass. Also, DD1 LOVES her sister. She has only complained one time about how much attention the baby is getting, and I should have prefaced that by saying that my DD1 is NOT an easy or laid back child. She's very demanding and explosive. She has dealt with this soooo much better than I could ever have dreamed. I'm quite proud of her!