Please tell me my son doesn't hate me and that this is normal...

[beccabus]

Okay, first, we're about 7 weeks out from having our second baby. Our first is 29 months. Lately, daddy has been #1 for our oldest, which I think is great, normal and natural. However, daddy is #1 and mommy is apparently evil He now wakes up from naps/sleep calling for daddy--which is fine--but if I go to get him, he yells and cries, "nooooooo!" and kicks and wails his body all over the place. Even before I go to get him sometimes he sobs to himself, "don't like momma, don't like momma..." Usually within 10 minutes he snaps right out of it and things are okay. So today was one of those mornings except that when my hubby went to leave for work, our son threw himself on the floor in a crying fit. "Don't like momma, don't like momma..." My hubby came back to try and console him, etc (I was on the toilet!). When my hubby attempted to leave for good, our son started yelling--like true yelling/screaming/crying--AT ME, "don't like momma, you go away, go away, go away, etc..." It went on and on. I silently dropped a good amount of tears.

Now, I studied child development in college as part of my major, etc. I (think) I know logically that he doesn't actually hate me, but boy he sure acts like he does. And wow is it painful! I'm thinking to myself....wow, I have quite literally devoted my life to my children (I'm a stay at home mom) and to see/hear/feel how much he dislikes me right now is almost unbearable. What have I been doing these past 2 years, except take good care of him and love him the best I can.... I just feel devastated. He used to be such a momma's boy..my best little friend. Now I am pretty much the last person he wants to be around...

Please someone tell me it's okay, it's normal, he doesn't truly hate me, etc...I'm feeling so low right now...

[butterfly_mommy]

So sorry mama it must be so hard to hear those words from your LO.

I remember when my aunt went in to have her 5th baby, her 4th child who was about 18 mons or so at the time, went ballistic and pushed furniture over threw stuff and rampaged all over the house. He had a real "hate" on for his mother when she came back with the new baby and wanted nothing to do with her for awhile (except to nurse). My cousin is now 12 and has a wonderful relationship with his mama.

[Rowansmama]

Wow, how timely - I was JUST about to post a new thread with this same topic!

Lately my DD (2 and a half) has been all about Daddy too. It's to the point where if I try to get her dressed, comfort her in the night, or even hug her, she has a huge tantrum...kicking, hitting, and wailing "WANT DADDY!"

I've been home with her since she was born, and for a lot of it have been the only parent around since DH is military and is gone alot. It really does hurt my feelings, to the point where the other day in my post partum hormonal state I broke down crying and locked myself in my room saying no one loves me

I have no words of advice, only wanted to give you a hug and say that you're not alone!

[beccabus]

Originally Posted by Rowansmama

Wow, how timely - I was JUST about to post a new thread with this same topic!

Lately my DD (2 and a half) has been all about Daddy too. It's to the point where if I try to get her dressed, comfort her in the night, or even hug her, she has a huge tantrum...kicking, hitting, and wailing "WANT DADDY!"

I've been home with her since she was born, and for a lot of it have been the only parent around since DH is military and is gone alot. It really does hurt my feelings, to the point where the other day in my post partum hormonal state I broke down crying and locked myself in my room saying no one loves me

I have no words of advice, only wanted to give you a hug and say that you're not alone!

(((HUGS))) to you too...it's so painful, isn't it. Funny, my son was born in November 2007 too, perhaps it's just the age??

[beccabus]

And another question if I may... what is the best thing to do when our LOs have these emotional, angry outburst like that? Ignore? Console? Cuddle? Distract? What if when trying to cuddle, etc the little one kicks and yells even harder?? I'm sure I could check out Dr. Sears thoughts, but any here??

[Laurienna]

Both DS1 and DD1 did this in between the ages of 2 and 3. It's very very normal. And at the time I wondered: if I was the one to work out of the house would they do it to him? . I'm pretty sure the answer is yes
What I did was basically let them have their outburst for a minute so that they could make sure that we both knew how unhappy they were and that yep we heard you. Then I'd try to distract by proposing a game, food or something they particularly like to do. I also talked to them about it ( and so did DH) after they had calmed down a bit by saying something like: "I know that you are going to miss papa while he is at work and papa will miss you too. When papa comes back he'll play x with you." Things like that. Oh, I remember too that DD1 loved to make a special drawing for papa once she had calmed down and it helps a lot. DS1 was not interested by drawing but proposing a game outside worked very well or a snack. He threw less tantrums also after we went to visit DH at his work one time. I guess maybe he thought his papa disappeared into thin air
I hope it helps a little. It's hard that's for sure but for both of my kids it did not last very long. Hugs to you!
BTW I'm very very close to both kids and so is their dad. It's really not a question of you not being a great mom but I know you know that. It's just that it's nice to hear sometimes.