Good questions, Heinleinesque! I wanna hear your answers, too!How do you expect this baby to change your existing relationships?
I think a baby will change my friendship relationships in a positive way. We don't have many close friends but the ones we have are parents already, so I think it'll help make it even and we'll finally understand what the heck they're going through. Our friends are all pretty crunchy, but we spend a lot of time with DW's brothers and their families and they are very mainstream and completely opposite of how we want to parent, so I see some issues around that stuff. Our lifestyle is already pretty conducive to a parenting lifestyle, so besides just the changes a baby brings, I think we'll adjust decently. We don't go out to clubs, don't stay out late, and honestly don't really do much. We're like an old couple already, so I don't think that will change for us. In fact, I'm hoping we'll meet other gay and straight couples in parenting groups so maybe we'll meet more families to do things with. We might actually go out and do things more
with a kid.
I think as far as with DW, we fully expect the novelty and lovey-dovey-ness to wear off and the stress to come at some point. We are a very good team and communicate very well, but we'll be going through different things. I'm the birth mom and so she'll have a different experience, and she'll have to deal with a certain amount of invisibility that I won't, especially with dumb questions like "But whose the mother
Plus she'll be a SAHM and I'll go back to work so the day-to-day will be different for us. Even though we're not expecting anything bad, we're going to read "How to Baby-Proof Your Marriage" ahead of time, just in case. I've read good reviews of that book here on MDC. We like reading relationship books together.
I think it'll be a little difficult for my mom (who lives in the area) to realize that we're doing things differently than she did and we're
in control of the decisions, not her. I've already told her all of the plans. But I think once the baby is here it'll be hard for her not to come over all the time to see the baby. We just don't want that. We like our privacy and don't want her smothering us. Already she's playing it up. We didn't want to spend Easter with her and some of that side of the family (for a few reasons). But she's already saying things like "But it's our last Easter before the baby comes! Family means so much more now that you're carrying my grandbaby." We've never spent an Easter together since I was a kid. We're not religious at all and there are no kids in our family so it's not even celebrated.
She's just said a lot of annoying things lately and I'm only 10 weeks! Ugh! I only foresee more issues on the horizon.