Originally I wanted a UC, but dh was not comfortable with it. Ultimately it was my decision, but life hit us and stresses began. And i really wanted a midwife for after birth due to issues with mastitis and whatnot.
I took my time hiring a midwife and just at 28 weeks finally signed on with one. In the mean time i'd only seen an ob about 3 times and was monitering myself. Now at almost 31 weeks my soul is just not digging the decision. I love the midwife, she's great. But it's more about me. My last birth was traumatic. DH and i aren't where we need to be for me to rely on him for a homebirth. And honestly all i want is to do this myself.
I don't want to have to listen to anyone tell me why or how i'm suppose to do something. I don't want a mw telling me she knows what i'm going through or that if i try this or if she does that, it will end up so and so. I want to do this on my own, even without dh. Which is a big change for me. He has always been my birth partner in the aspect that we feel as if we are birthing together. But we aren't there after the last birth. And i want to provide this bubble of space that is just for me.
Has anyone changed their mind late in the game? I could go to an OB free under our insurance, but in all honesty after 2 homebirths a hospital birth isn't my cup of tea. And i dont even know if i'll make it considering my last labor was 2 hours. Is it so hard to prepare in 9-ish weeks time for a UC?
I feel as if i'm wavering and usually im the type of gal who makes a decision and sticks to it. But my heart keeps thinking these thoughts, and all i want is to birth this child on my own terms, in my own home, by myself because that is what i'm made to do. Hope this is the right area to discuss all of this. I'm curious how others came to the decisions of UC.
I took my time hiring a midwife and just at 28 weeks finally signed on with one. In the mean time i'd only seen an ob about 3 times and was monitering myself. Now at almost 31 weeks my soul is just not digging the decision. I love the midwife, she's great. But it's more about me. My last birth was traumatic. DH and i aren't where we need to be for me to rely on him for a homebirth. And honestly all i want is to do this myself.
I don't want to have to listen to anyone tell me why or how i'm suppose to do something. I don't want a mw telling me she knows what i'm going through or that if i try this or if she does that, it will end up so and so. I want to do this on my own, even without dh. Which is a big change for me. He has always been my birth partner in the aspect that we feel as if we are birthing together. But we aren't there after the last birth. And i want to provide this bubble of space that is just for me.
Has anyone changed their mind late in the game? I could go to an OB free under our insurance, but in all honesty after 2 homebirths a hospital birth isn't my cup of tea. And i dont even know if i'll make it considering my last labor was 2 hours. Is it so hard to prepare in 9-ish weeks time for a UC?
I feel as if i'm wavering and usually im the type of gal who makes a decision and sticks to it. But my heart keeps thinking these thoughts, and all i want is to birth this child on my own terms, in my own home, by myself because that is what i'm made to do. Hope this is the right area to discuss all of this. I'm curious how others came to the decisions of UC.
I had a homebirth with a midwife for my first but we couldn't afford it this time so I was just seeing an ob covered by my insurance and was hoping to get to the hospital at the last minute so they would leave me alone. Even before I got pregnant with this baby I said I wanted to uc the next one but I get super sick at the beginning of my pregnancies and had to see an ob to get meds. I felt bad using the nice ob I found and then ditching him, but then I decided that it was about me and not him. I told dh that I just wanted to pretend the baby came to fast so that we would still have an ob there if I need stitches or hemmorage or something and he was totally fine with it which surprised me and made me so happy. In the last month I've gotten all my birth supplies and am totally set to go! We're not telling family about our decision and when my mil called dh yesterday to ask if she could buy me a summer robe, slippers and a hospital bag he said he would ask me and call back and then started laughing when he did ask me 
While this doc has been great for care (used her last time), the delivery left a lot to be desired in my book.
