Hi everyone. I usually don't post over here, stay mainly in the special needs parenting and recently in the I'm pregnant (
) section. But I really need some advice from an outside perspective about what for us is a very serious situation. If it gets long I apologize in advance, but I will try to keep it brief.
My grandmother owns a lot of houses and property. Some of those homes my mother and her brother co-own with grandma either individually or together.
7 years ago we lived in an apartment that we needed to move from asap because of harassment from a next door neighbor. My mother suggested I buy on loan contract one of my grandmothers homes that is co-owned with my uncle. We paid around 2 thousand down and moved in before the contract was written up. Once we started moving in we realized that the repairs on the home that we were told had happened never took place, the home was around 50-60 years old and had been neglected. Once realizing this we said we no longer wanted to buy it but would rent until we could find somewhere else. That was fine with everyone. Time went on and we were encouraged to continue living there because the rent was so cheap on us, and like idiots we followed the advice.
As the years went by we made several repairs out of pocket, some we were able to get taken off the rent, some not. Many things we just did not have the money to fix, like out of date wiring and a standing water problem under the house. We reported the problems but were told there was no money to fix it. Once again like idiots we stayed.
The finale straw came about 2 months ago when the water main on our side broke underground. The city came dug a giant hole only to see that the problem was on our side 4 foot under the ground and left. My family said they would not fix the water that we needed to and didn't know why we had a problem with the request. Needless to say we needed to find a new place. My mom is living with my ill grandmother and her house is empty. We moved into her house with just a suitcase of stuff for each of us while we looked for a new rental.
We found a place after 4 days and were supposed to start moving the next day and I told mom it would take about 2 weeks to be in our new place because I wanted to take my time and make sure we got everything ready before moving in so there would be less chaos with the kids. The next day she called and said we needed to get everything out and move because someone had called and said our old house was going to be robbed that night.
We panicked and called everyone we knew ran around crazy and got enough stuff in the new place to live there for at least the time being. I am unpacking and my husband is moving stuff and my sister calls and tells me my mom had lied. I call mom and she says "oh, well, I guess I could have been wrong.... I really needed you out of my house, I was worried your kids would break my things, especially A". By the way my son A has multiple health/behavioral problems that he goes to therapy and specialist for and is more likely to break things on accident because of his inability to know how hard he is touching something.
So the next day I tell her that it will be hard but we should be able to get everything out of the old house with-en a week. She asks if I am going to pay another months rent for this. I say ummm, no, we need that money and we are leaving all the sheet rock and insulation we had just bought for repairs so it should even out. She says ok, take your time I talked to my brother and no one is in a hurry take as long as you need.
I have talked to her many times since then, she has never said a word about anything again. We have 1 load of our things left to move out and some furniture and stuff that we were going to give away or take to the dump. She come buy and asks for the key, my husband says sorry, but that key was lost a long time ago because the lock had stopped working and we didn't use it anymore. She says well you need to get your stuff out by tomorrow or anything you left belongs to my brother.
My husband works 3rd shift tonight and tomorrow is his birthday. He is there as we speak working his butt off. I call mom to say that I wish she would have said something earlier. She laughs, she actually LAUGHS and says "oh I lied, JT made me mad when he said he lost the key so I just made that up ha ha ha well maybe this will light a fire under his butt. ha ha ha".
I want NOTHING to do with her again. This is the same woman that informed me when I was 15 "Did I ever tell you I was going to have an abortion with you but the dr's told me I was to far along, just thought you needed to know."
Do I even want this person around my kids? She is nice enough to them but encourages them to act out against there dad and puts me down in front of them. We are a really laid back family that tries to volunteer and help others as much as possible. Our house is chaos free, until someone (like my mom) brings there chaos to us. Is this relationship even worth trying to save? I don't want to put up with it anymore and now that we live out of my families property I really don't have to. Question is, should I?
Sorry it got so long, really no way to make the story shorter. Believe it or not it could have gotten a LOT longer, I just gave you guys the basics.
Thanks for any advice you can give me.
) section. But I really need some advice from an outside perspective about what for us is a very serious situation. If it gets long I apologize in advance, but I will try to keep it brief.My grandmother owns a lot of houses and property. Some of those homes my mother and her brother co-own with grandma either individually or together.
7 years ago we lived in an apartment that we needed to move from asap because of harassment from a next door neighbor. My mother suggested I buy on loan contract one of my grandmothers homes that is co-owned with my uncle. We paid around 2 thousand down and moved in before the contract was written up. Once we started moving in we realized that the repairs on the home that we were told had happened never took place, the home was around 50-60 years old and had been neglected. Once realizing this we said we no longer wanted to buy it but would rent until we could find somewhere else. That was fine with everyone. Time went on and we were encouraged to continue living there because the rent was so cheap on us, and like idiots we followed the advice.
As the years went by we made several repairs out of pocket, some we were able to get taken off the rent, some not. Many things we just did not have the money to fix, like out of date wiring and a standing water problem under the house. We reported the problems but were told there was no money to fix it. Once again like idiots we stayed.
The finale straw came about 2 months ago when the water main on our side broke underground. The city came dug a giant hole only to see that the problem was on our side 4 foot under the ground and left. My family said they would not fix the water that we needed to and didn't know why we had a problem with the request. Needless to say we needed to find a new place. My mom is living with my ill grandmother and her house is empty. We moved into her house with just a suitcase of stuff for each of us while we looked for a new rental.
We found a place after 4 days and were supposed to start moving the next day and I told mom it would take about 2 weeks to be in our new place because I wanted to take my time and make sure we got everything ready before moving in so there would be less chaos with the kids. The next day she called and said we needed to get everything out and move because someone had called and said our old house was going to be robbed that night.
We panicked and called everyone we knew ran around crazy and got enough stuff in the new place to live there for at least the time being. I am unpacking and my husband is moving stuff and my sister calls and tells me my mom had lied. I call mom and she says "oh, well, I guess I could have been wrong.... I really needed you out of my house, I was worried your kids would break my things, especially A". By the way my son A has multiple health/behavioral problems that he goes to therapy and specialist for and is more likely to break things on accident because of his inability to know how hard he is touching something.
So the next day I tell her that it will be hard but we should be able to get everything out of the old house with-en a week. She asks if I am going to pay another months rent for this. I say ummm, no, we need that money and we are leaving all the sheet rock and insulation we had just bought for repairs so it should even out. She says ok, take your time I talked to my brother and no one is in a hurry take as long as you need.
I have talked to her many times since then, she has never said a word about anything again. We have 1 load of our things left to move out and some furniture and stuff that we were going to give away or take to the dump. She come buy and asks for the key, my husband says sorry, but that key was lost a long time ago because the lock had stopped working and we didn't use it anymore. She says well you need to get your stuff out by tomorrow or anything you left belongs to my brother.
My husband works 3rd shift tonight and tomorrow is his birthday. He is there as we speak working his butt off. I call mom to say that I wish she would have said something earlier. She laughs, she actually LAUGHS and says "oh I lied, JT made me mad when he said he lost the key so I just made that up ha ha ha well maybe this will light a fire under his butt. ha ha ha".
I want NOTHING to do with her again. This is the same woman that informed me when I was 15 "Did I ever tell you I was going to have an abortion with you but the dr's told me I was to far along, just thought you needed to know."
Do I even want this person around my kids? She is nice enough to them but encourages them to act out against there dad and puts me down in front of them. We are a really laid back family that tries to volunteer and help others as much as possible. Our house is chaos free, until someone (like my mom) brings there chaos to us. Is this relationship even worth trying to save? I don't want to put up with it anymore and now that we live out of my families property I really don't have to. Question is, should I?
Sorry it got so long, really no way to make the story shorter. Believe it or not it could have gotten a LOT longer, I just gave you guys the basics.
Thanks for any advice you can give me.
why didn't you call the cops if your mom said the house was going to be robbed? Packing to move out seems like a really weird response to me. This apartment getting robbed is a more likely scenario and I wouldn't move if I was told it was going to get robbed in a few days, I'd drag the person who told me about the threat to the police for questioning. (And I'd find it utterly bizarre and suspicious if they didn't agree and already had plans to go themselves)
that your new place is better
