How do you feel about the spacing of your kids? - Page 3

[OneLove]

You know, I like to nurse my babies until they wean. And I run out of milk when I get pregnant. (So, even though I wanted my kids to self-wean, for both #1 and #2, my milk diminished - so they didn't get to self-wean).

My #1(dd) and #2(ds) are 2.75 years apart and they do play together and they do fight. DD is hn and probably could have used more alone time w/mommy, she has always loved little kids though.

Now I have #3, he is 4 years apart and they older kids seem to see him as baby, even though he does take up a lot of time. They want to help with the baby. I was thinking of having a 4th child, but since I know my milk will dry up, I'm not sure.

Anyway, if you are a nursing mom and you do plan to breast feed until 2 years or more (or even just 1), then that is something to take into consideration. For me, nursing/ breastmilk is too important to have a baby close to my current baby. But, I have been thinking about pumping and storing, just in case, maybe after my little one is over 1.

Andee

[ChetMC]

For Us...

Our girls are 16 months apart. It's difficult to have what amounts to two babies at once, but we were able to achieve parallelism very quickly. Having the same bathtime, the same bedtime, the same interests, liking the same books and toys, etc, means that we're often able to kill two birds with one stone. Two kids close together can be less work than two kids that are 2.5 or 3 years apart once you find your groove.

Our boys are 17 months apart, and so far we've had a similar experience as with our girls. A young toddler is often too young to experience jealousy and rivalry like a 2 or 3 year old. I see our boys developing a very close relationship similar to our girls. DS is 23 months and would rather play with the baby a lot of the time than his older sisters.

Our oldest DS and your youngest DD are 2.5 years apart. They play together okay, but they have more squabbles. Their developmental stages are just not as good a match. There is four years between DS and older DD and she's better able to appreciate and accommodate their age difference.

My only real regret with closely spaced pregnancies is that it ultimately meant that none of our kids have nursed much beyond a year. In general though, I think that 2 to 3 years spacing in the hardest. There is benefits to any age spacing, and personality plays an important role, but I like less than 18 months or more than 4 years.

[Anastasiya]

I agree that it's more about the temperaments than the spacing.

#1 and #2 are 18 months apart, then
#2 and #3 are 15 months apart, and
#3 and #4 are 23 months apart.

The first three are all very close and do almost everything together. And they are all very easy kids.

Sure, it's been hectic at times (usually when everyone's tired and hungry) but for the most part it's a breeze and the ONLY thing I would change would be the 15 month spacing, because #2's nursing days were cut short due to my milk drying up with the next pregnancy.


My siblings and I are 3.5 years and 5.5 years apart, and I hated it growing up. That was too much of a gap, and I was pretty much alone most of the time to do my own thing.

[Hokulele]

My girls are exactly three years apart and I LOVE this spacing. Originally I wanted two kids, two years apart. DH and his sister are that far apart and they were best friends growing up.

But DD1 is a very high maintenance sweet pea and I just couldn't fathom having another child when she was two. I had no idea how other people were doing it! But then DD2 came along and she's an easy-going little sweetheart so now I get how some people are ready to space their kids closer together.

I like three years because they are still close enough in age that as they get older they will have similar abilities and similar interests. (Of course, I'm not expecting them to be into exactly the same things!) We will be traveling a lot soon for DH's work so it just seems that travel will be much easier if our kids are similar in those ways.

I like that they are three years apart because I had three solid years to focus on DD1. I got to focus on her for all her baby / toddler years and get to know her for all that time. And then, when DD2 came along, DD1 was into preschool and had friends and other things beyond her life with mommy. So 1. she had her own thing going on, so it felt like she wasn't having to give up some of her mama as much as it might have felt if she was younger. and 2. she was occupied enough of the time with preschool etc that I felt I did have time to focus on DD2.

Also, I nursed DD1 through my pg until she gave it up. And while I tried to tandam nurse, I just couldn't do it (my fault, not hers!) So I'm glad she got 2.5 solid years of nursing.

I agree, though, with the pp who said it is all about the temperaments of your kids. That makes ALL the difference - and there's no real way to plan for that!