Pretty embarrassed to be asking this...

[Belia]

DS is 19 months old. He was EBF until he was 12 months old, then I went back to work and weaned him during the day. I still nursed every night before bed and every morning after he woke up, but the rest of the day he got/gets cow's milk.

About a month ago I stopped nursing him before bed. It was kind of impulsive, actually- he was sick and not able to nurse and breathe at the same time, I was sick, my supply was dropping, he started waking up during the night, and I was just tired of ALWAYS having to be the one who put him to bed. So I got fed up. Not ideal by any stretch, but it is what it is.

So his liquids routine now is-

Wake up- nurse
Morning snack at DC- water
Lunch at DC- milk
Afternoon snack at DC- water
Afternoon snack as soon as we get home- milk
Dinner- water
Bedtime- milk

Ready for the embarrassing part?? DS still gets all of his milk at home exclusively from a bottle!

He goes to a Montessori daycare, so they're real big on having the kids use regular cups with no lids. Which is fine for them- they pour each kid, like, 3 sips of water at a time and have kid-proofed floors, tables, etc. We don't.

At meal times at home DS drinks his water from those old school tupperware plastic cups with the snap-on spout lids. But, those have no valves or anything so liquids just pour out the minute you turn them over.

When we were first trying sippies (like, 9+ months ago) DS could not figure out how to drink from the ones with hard spouts or straws. He would lap at them as if he were nursing and nothing would come out. DS figured out that he could spill / splash the sippies with the soft spouts, and I freaked out as I watched him spill milk all over the living room / dining room carpet.

Soooo.... he drinks water with meals and if he spills it doesn't matter. Then I feed him milk from a bottle after school and right before bed, just like I would do with an infant.

I feel like I am doing this ALL WRONG, but don't know exactly how to change it. Or if I should even worry about it, considering that it's working for us.

What do you mamas think? Thanks for reading all this, BTW.

[kayabrink]

Are you concerned about only nursing once a day, or about still using bottles?
If you want ds to nurse more, just try offering maybe before bed again. At that age, my ds would nurse before bed and, when he looked drowsy, I'd pass him off to papa who put him to bed.
I wouldn't worry about the bottle. If I were / had been unable to nurse, I would have allowed my children to self wean from the bottle as they do from the breast. I think the whole tooth decay/bottle issue is only relevant if they're taking a bottle while falling asleep, and they keep pools of milk in their mouths for a long time.
I live part time in another country, where children are given bottles until around age three. However, they are NOT given them to lie down to nap or while lying in bed falling asleep. Nursing decay is not an issue. If they do give a bottle to an older child to nurse to sleep, they usually give water; or use a pacifier instead.
Like you say, it's working for you! Why change it?

[xekomaya]

I think it is probably time to be done with the bottles, but I wouldn't worry if it doesn't happen over night. Playtex has some straw-sippy cups that are amazingly awesome at not leaking. If you have a Jamba Juice near by, they make a sippy cup with a "suck" top that is very bottle like but not. Hard to describe but it is a great middle of the night leak proof cup and probably easy for a nurser/bottle drinker to figure out.

[sapphire_chan]

At this age you can try to get him to drink from a straw by having him kiss the straw.

ETA: Mind you, nothing wrong with snuggling your baby more no matter how he's getting his milk. If he were running around with a bottle, I'd try harder to get him onto a straw cup, but if you're feeding him a bottle like an infant, that's different.

[Belia]

Originally Posted by kayabrink

Are you concerned about only nursing once a day, or about still using bottles?

I'm concerned about the use of bottles.

The nursing ship has sailed, I think. I put all of that info in my original question so that no one would ask, "So why don't you just nurse him instead of give him milk?"

[Belia]

Originally Posted by sapphire_chan

At this age you can try to get him to drink from a straw by having him kiss the straw.

ETA: Mind you, nothing wrong with snuggling your baby more no matter how he's getting his milk. If he were running around with a bottle, I'd try harder to get him onto a straw cup, but if you're feeding him a bottle like an infant, that's different.

I don't think the kiss thing would work. When I ask for a kiss, he just opens his mouth real wide and puts it on my cheek. in the cutest way possible.

He doesn't know how to drink from a straw. He doesn't get it yet, and I don't know how to teach him to suck like that.

And we do snuggle when he drinks. I think its a good way for us to reconnect because it's just about the first thing we do when we get home from work/daycare. You're saying that's a good thing? It feel so infantilizing. Is that even a word?

[lolar2]

But he's still just a baby! Cuddling is important. Heck, my kid has been off bottles for nearly a year (since just after he turned two) and we cuddle while he drinks from sippies every day.

[marispel]

My DS is 19 mo old too. We still give him a bottle before bed and sometimes before weekend naps if he is having a hard time falling asleep.

My DH is a clean/neat freak, so when DS turns his sippy upside down to spill milk, it's not tolerated. We take the cup away for a few minutes and then we try again.

So..I would definitely try more sippy cups. It just takes practice and persistance. DS only gets a sippy cup of milk in the kitchen. He can have a sippy of water anywhere...I even have a sippy cup of water (w/valve) in his crib.
Don't worry about the bottle at night...I think that is fine.

[Carhootel]

maybe offer a sippy that has a spout like a bottle? thinkbaby has this one and my ds learned to use sippies from the nuby soft spout ones that are for 6months+

their tops are a lot like those of a bottle so they should be easy to learn

[foodymama]

I think if both you and DS are comfortable and happy using a bottle in the way you described it's absolutely fine.

I would however get him to use a sippy/straw cup as well. My nephew has very poor lower jaw muscles and had a hard time nursing and especially using a straw but now that he's learned he loves drinking out of a straw. I taught my DD to use a straw by using a regular disposable straw and putting it in a cup of liquid of your choice and covering the top of the straw with my finger so I could get the liquid in the straw and then I put it in DD's mouth and took my finger off a little at a time so that she would get used to the straw in her mouth and realize how the liquid comes through the straw. We did that a few times and then I put he straw back in the cup and let her try to suck on it herself and she caught on pretty quickly. Maybe you could see if that works for your DS.

[RiverSky]

Infantalizing? Yikes! He's barely even nursing anymore (way sooner than humans are designed to do), so let him have every bit of other comfort you can. He's only 19 months, right? Why should such a young one, who can't even use a straw, need to grow up so fast?

[Bellabaz]

Here I see kids who are way older than your dd using bottles. like post #2 said you have time. My friend has a 3 yo who still gets a bottle of milk every night before bed. And she nursed until 8 months I think. So if for nw it works go with it. He may wean himself. If it really bothers you than I guess try again with sippies or just skip sippes and go straight to normal cups.

[organicpapayamama]

19 months is still pretty young. to me, its no big deal that hes still using a bottle. DS will be 2 next month and he ONLY drinks his milk out of a bottle. He does use a sippy cup for other liquids but wont drink milk out of it. I never saw it as a big deal. I keep a good eye on his teeth to make sure they are brushed and cleaned and looking for the first sign of bottle tooth.... nothing yet. I think peds are to quick to say "ok ur 1 so lets kick the bottle today." Um, no. If he enjoys it, finds comfort in it and its not causing a problem why stop? Some people will say "oh well are you gonna let him drink from a bottle when he leaves for college?" ok, really? honestly? that would never happen in a million years even if you wanted it to. its not realistic.

My siblings and I were raised with that same mentality... where if its not causing a problem why not. We drank from bottles for a LONG time. I dont know how common it is but I think I remember drinking from a bottle maybe as late as 5-6 years old. Now it wasnt everyday and it wasnt because we would only drink milk from a bottle, we would only have one at bedtime warmed up because it gave us comfort going to sleep. all 4 of my siblings and I did that and it was never a problem for us our our family. It seemed to be more of a problem with the opinions of family members. But luckily my mom didnt care what they had to say.

[daniturtle]

I dunno, my (almost 18 months old) daughter does not like sippy cups. She seems to regard them as means to get water all over the place, anywhere but her mouth. But she happily drinks from actual cups, with help. She will also drink from straws, which she more or less figured out by herself. For awhile when we were out eating I would get a straw and feed her tiny bits of juice or water from my glass by covering the top of the straw with my finger and putting the bottom of the straw in her mouth and then releasing- she would kind of suck/chew on the bottom of the straw and get the liquid. Then she would try putting the top of the straw in her mouth-- for weeks nothing happened. And then one day- she sucked and drank the water she sucked up! Presto! So if you want to "teach" your son to drink from a straw, you could try that.

I wouldn't worry too much about the bottle though. I'm a big believer in doing what works. Slowly introducing more sippy cup or straw drinking should get him there in time. Be patient with him and try not to be so hard on yourself!

[LaurenAnanas]

I don't think it's a big deal- I think babies and toddlers get so much comfort from sucking, I would keep the bottle, especially at bedtime.

As for sippies, we like the playtex ones with the valve, and their straw cups are good too. We let DD use them with just water and without the valve at first, and it only took her a day or so to figure out how to use them.

Do you have any young friends or relatives who could model sippy use for your DS? Would you and your husband be willing to use them for a meal or two? My DD (and all toddlers, I think) loves to mimic and learns a lot from watching other people.

[sapphire_chan]

Originally Posted by Belia

I don't think the kiss thing would work. When I ask for a kiss, he just opens his mouth real wide and puts it on my cheek. in the cutest way possible.

He doesn't know how to drink from a straw. He doesn't get it yet, and I don't know how to teach him to suck like that.

And we do snuggle when he drinks. I think its a good way for us to reconnect because it's just about the first thing we do when we get home from work/daycare. You're saying that's a good thing? It feel so infantilizing. Is that even a word?

I never realized that my dd can kiss already because she knows how to drink from a straw. With kids who do know how to kiss it's a way to teach them how to suck like that, but clearly that won't work for you.

if you snuggle then . Part of why nursing until a long time is good is that it creates times of closeness in the midst of a busy toddler life. Don't see any reason why bottle nursing should be different than nursing at the breast and I certainly don't pop one of mine off for Lina to wander around with.

[just_lily]

I would be fine with the bottle AS LONG AS he will also drink milk out of a cup. Can you start offering milk in a cup as well as the bottle feedings?

I have a boy in my home daycare that is nearly 4, and will only drink milk from a bottle. He will drink anything else out of a cup, but will only have his milk in a bottle. That is a situation I don't think is all that great. It motivated me to get my DD off of bottles by 18 months (slowly and gradually with absolutely no trauma) but overall I don't see an issue with a 19mo having a bottle while snuggling with mama. Just make sure you are offering cups as well.

[crunchy_mommy]

Well here's my thought... My DS is still nursing & probably will be for quite a while. If I had to wean unexpectedly, he'd probably still need the comfort of sucking, so I would consider giving him bottles even though he has never had one. If your DS doesn't need it for comfort though -- if it's just for convenience -- then you could try different methods. My DS mostly drinks water from an open cup but he also can use a straw & I might get him a straw sippy-type thing if he starts wanting non-BM liquids more often. I taught him to drink from a straw by covering the top of the straw with my finger to hold the liquid in & letting him drink from the bottom (like you lift the straw totally out from the cup & drink from the bottom if that makes sense) and once he understood how to suck he could do it the normal way. It was pretty quick (we only use straws when we got out to eat & that was only maybe 3 times) so maybe give that a shot!

But as I said above, if he seems to need the bottle for comfort & that's your cuddle/bonding time then I would continue doing that if it's working for you! I don't think it's "babying" him or anything -- it's responding to his needs. I would just keep the bottles to ONLY cuddle time -- not have him walking around the house with bottles -- and make sure it really is for him, not just for your convenience. That's just how I'd do it though...

[sapphire_chan]

Originally Posted by just_lily

I would be fine with the bottle AS LONG AS he will also drink milk out of a cup. Can you start offering milk in a cup as well as the bottle feedings?

She said that all the drinks at the daycare are out of cups, and that includes milk at lunch.

[suzywan]

My DS turned 2 in January and he still drinks milk out of a bottle - as well as juice and water at bedtime. It's totally a comfort thing as he will drink from a cup or sippy, but if he is upset it's bottle or nothing. I don't see a problem with it - he obviously still has a comfort sucking need and I would be still nursing him if I hadn't screwed that up last year. Your baby is still so young - I wouldn't worry about it at all!