My DDs are almost 11yo and almost 2.5yo. We have another due in 9 weeks. I coslept w/ DD1 until age 5-ish. She did sleep a full night until 7yo. I really fed some poor sleeping habits in general with her, aside from cosleeping. I ended up terribly sleep deprived, leading to depression and some health problems. DD2 coslept full time until about 12-14 months. Then I would nurse her down on a futon in her room across the hall, and go to beed in my bed. I would go in and sleep the rest of the night with her when she woke. About 6 months ago we put her in a twin bed on the floor. She also quit nursing when a bit into my pregnancy, so that is not a factor. She slept really good then, through the night about 3 nights/wk and waking maybe once the others.
The last 2-3 months it has crashed and burned. I am so tired and have no idea how I will handle this when the baby comes. I am ready to redraw the bedtime lines and need some help.
Right now we go through our bedtime routine (bath w/ daddy, teeth, jammas) then DH lays on one side and I lay on the other (getting harder in a twin bed, lol). We read stories. Then DH leaves and I cuddle DD2 down. This was a 10 min cuddle, but now has progressed into 45-60 min before she is out. And she is adamant that it is myself and not DH at that point (although we have never pushed that past a 1 night try). Then I go to sleep in my bed and usually between 12-3am she either comes to the edge of the bed or hollers at me from her room. If I put her in my bed, then no one sleeps the rest of the night. She is maybe the worst cosleeper ever. We have tried everything to get her to cosleep better and it just does not fly. So then I end up going back to her bed with her and sleeping in there. I have tried patting her down vs laing back down in there (mainly cause her bed kills my back this late in preg), but she is very particular and screams for me to lay in a set place, on a set pillow, and "cuddle her tight". So I fall asleep there, wake up at some point, back to my bed, then around 5am we repeat that same thing.
I can't do this after baby. I can't do this much more now. It is not passing by. I am making it worse. I see myself creating habits I did with DD1 that were long term and bad for both of us.
DH is happy to help in anyway, but there will be some tears there. I am trying to come up with a gradual and as gentle as possible plan to make this all a bit better. I certainly do not expect her to sleep all night, or go back to sleep with no comfort....but DH has to become an option for her, or me sitting and rubbing her back has to become an option vs laying back down to sleep there, something. She does not seem to have much anxiety about sleeping, or fear, just wants me there...all the time, with her on top of me, on the right pillow, laying the right way, etc.
Any ideas on a routine change to get in place before baby comes? Or before I lose my mind?
The last 2-3 months it has crashed and burned. I am so tired and have no idea how I will handle this when the baby comes. I am ready to redraw the bedtime lines and need some help.
Right now we go through our bedtime routine (bath w/ daddy, teeth, jammas) then DH lays on one side and I lay on the other (getting harder in a twin bed, lol). We read stories. Then DH leaves and I cuddle DD2 down. This was a 10 min cuddle, but now has progressed into 45-60 min before she is out. And she is adamant that it is myself and not DH at that point (although we have never pushed that past a 1 night try). Then I go to sleep in my bed and usually between 12-3am she either comes to the edge of the bed or hollers at me from her room. If I put her in my bed, then no one sleeps the rest of the night. She is maybe the worst cosleeper ever. We have tried everything to get her to cosleep better and it just does not fly. So then I end up going back to her bed with her and sleeping in there. I have tried patting her down vs laing back down in there (mainly cause her bed kills my back this late in preg), but she is very particular and screams for me to lay in a set place, on a set pillow, and "cuddle her tight". So I fall asleep there, wake up at some point, back to my bed, then around 5am we repeat that same thing.
I can't do this after baby. I can't do this much more now. It is not passing by. I am making it worse. I see myself creating habits I did with DD1 that were long term and bad for both of us.
DH is happy to help in anyway, but there will be some tears there. I am trying to come up with a gradual and as gentle as possible plan to make this all a bit better. I certainly do not expect her to sleep all night, or go back to sleep with no comfort....but DH has to become an option for her, or me sitting and rubbing her back has to become an option vs laying back down to sleep there, something. She does not seem to have much anxiety about sleeping, or fear, just wants me there...all the time, with her on top of me, on the right pillow, laying the right way, etc.
Any ideas on a routine change to get in place before baby comes? Or before I lose my mind?
