*UPDATE #19* So much for my great birth story...DS is going on IV abx

[gcgirl]

OMG, sorry to be such a downer, but my great birth experience has just turned into a horrible newborn experience for DS. I guess *horrible* is a little strong, but putting a little baby on an IV isn't exactly fun.

If you read my other thread about Baby Julian finally deciding to come out 10 days past due a few hours before my scheduled induction, you know that we had a great birth experience: short labor, no real tearing, good bonding. Unfortunately, he's been having very rapid breathing all night long, and even absent other signs of infection, the staff is worried and want to do 48 hours of ampicillin to prevent/treat a potential blood infection. Apparently rapid breathing can be the ONLY SIGN of one, even without a fever. I HATE putting such a new baby through this, but I just don't know what else to do. If I say "Let's wait and see" it could be too late, and I don't really know what other alternatives there are right now. OTOH, it could be NOTHING, and we could be putting my baby through this for no good reason.

I keep waiting for someone to say "I told you so." Like if we had just induced last week, I would have gotten BOTH abx treatments for group B strep and there probably wouldn't have been meconium in the fluid, so there wouldn't have been these risk factors that have the hospital staff so concerned. If I hadn't wanted to selfishly experience a natural birth instead of an induction, I could have avoided all this for my little baby. That's kind of the guilt I'm feeling, anyway.

Man, I feel terrible right now.

ETA: And I just realized that there's another "told you so" out there: I'm sure a lot of folks on this board could say I set myself up for this by even having a hospital birth. Why not just stay home? Then we wouldn't be going through this. Sigh.

[Deir]

oh ((((((((((((hug))))))))))))) You are not responsible- nor are you selfish!!!

Hang in there- we'll all be thinking of you and Julian!

[gcgirl]

Thank you Deir. We'll get through this. It just sucks.

[Juvysen]

I can't imagine this could even *possibly* be your fault. These things happen... thank goodness we have modern medicine to deal with such things! There's no guarantees... induction comes with it's own potential for problems, you know? Hope it's nothing and he's feeling better soon!

[LittleLegos]

My understanding about blood infections is that they can be really hard to identify and sometimes there's just something a little off. While the IV can't be easy...I think you'll have a good outcome with it.

Also, natural birth vs induction is always going to be easier on your body.

With anything, we make the best decisions with the information we have at the time. Everything you've done so far has been the right decision at that moment.

Hang in there!
Amy

[Tulafina]

DDCC to tell my story...

First off

I know (to a point) what you are going through. I could have written your post 4 years ago.

I was 9 days late with my first-DS1. I was scheduled for an induction the next am and was having a hard time coming to grips with needing an induction. I wasn't even sure if I was going to go in when they called me. Well, I'm sure DS1 listened to me because at 4:30am the next morning I went into labour. I was also GBS+ but because I am deathly allergic to Penicillin(and the other abx just don't kill GBS like Penicillin does) I had decided that I wouldn't worry too much about getting abx unless I got to the hospital with enough time. I also had a doula who stayed with me and hubs at home until I felt "transitiony" and then I headed in. It ended up being a beautiful birth

I arrived at the hospital at 8-9cm ....the staff freaked because I was GBS+ so they tried to get some Ampicillin in me before he was born....He was born 45 mins after I arrived(15mins of abx) and my water broke only 20 mins before he was born. The only thing that worried them was the fact that he old mec in the fluid.

What happened next was "where it went wrong" in my books.

His cord was clamped and he was taken to the warmer to be suctioned. They suctioned him deeply and had trouble getting into one nostril. They later told me he has a deviated septum(like me). Well when they suctioned him they scraped his passages and created inflammation. About an hour after his birth he started breathing quickly. They were worried about blood infection, GBS infection and mec in his lungs. He was xrayed, had an IV with 3 different kinds of abx, and was also placed in an oxygen tent. He couldn't nurse because he couldn't breathe properly. He had to be tube fed. It was the most horrific experience of my life and most likely his as well. His xrays came back perfect, his blood work came back clean, and slowly over 2 days his nasal passages became clear of inflammation. He was kept for observation for another 3 days. It was 5 days into the NICU stay that someone told me he had a deviated septum. At the time I thought nothing of it. Now I KNOW that THAT was the reason he had all that trouble. I really wish he hadn't been suctioned. I know now that with the little amount of mec he had, he really didn't need it.

I still have trouble talking about the PP period of my DS's life. It really bothers me that it started out so amazing and then the "after-birth" interventions totally caught me off guard. He ended up being fine and I'm thankful for that. I know that his birth is the reason I had my second(and upcoming third) at home. I just don't trust like I used to.

Anyway, I hope your little guy is healthy and strong and that he will be at home with you soon Take Care!

[Right of Passage]

for you and your sweet baby I really hope it's nothing. I have no idea what I'd do in the same situation. Just lots of love and for you and Julian, I hope whatever it is it's over quickly!

[gcgirl]

Thanks so much for the support everyone. Tulafina, thank you for posting your story. That sounds so awful! I'm so glad everything came out okay for you in the end but that you had to go through that.

So far there haven't been any major mishaps; the IV is in and the first round of abx is done. I think the worst thing we're going to have to deal with is thrush. I'm going to have to be SERIOUS about the probiotics from here on out.

It's so hard to know if it's *nothing* or *something* with these things, and every intervention seems like another step down a slippery slope. Here's hoping we've had our *glitch* for this mission.

[cocoanib]

Hugs to you and your little one.
Having a sick baby is not easy and I pray Julian get's better soon.

[gardenmommy]

Hugs, mama. Sometimes you do everything "right", and stuff still happens. It doesn't mean anything was your fault. I hope you and your LO are soon resting peacefully at home.

[apple_juice]

Hugs to you. I hope you guys get to go home soon and all is well.

A friend of mine put UDO's infant probiotic powder on her nipple once a day and upped her probiotic intake too to help babe and avoid thrush.

Please don't blame yourself. I think you did the right thing waiting for babe to come on his own. There might have been other probs if you had induced last week. He got a gentle birth when he was ready. Way to go!

[mamacatsbaby]

Originally Posted by gardenmommy

Hugs, mama. Sometimes you do everything "right", and stuff still happens. It doesn't mean anything was your fault. I hope you and your LO are soon resting peacefully at home.

This is exactly what I wanted to say. and be easy on yourself.

[gcgirl]

Originally Posted by apple_juice

A friend of mine put UDO's infant probiotic powder on her nipple once a day and upped her probiotic intake too to help babe and avoid thrush.

Yes, I am planning to do this, definitely. I figure either Udo's or Nature's Way Primadophilus. I really don't want thrush again. (But I want a healthy baby more.)

[Plummeting]

I have never heard that going past your dd by a week or so increased your baby's risk of septicemia, so I don't see how you should feel responsible for that! Additionally, you would've been warned to look for rapid breathing and treat it as an emergency no matter where you'd birthed. I know because I was strep B positive for this birth (there was a mix up and I first believed I was negative, then found out I was positive) and before the midwives left my house I was specifically told to be aware of baby's breathing and contact them IMMEDIATELY if she was breathing too rapidly. They even told me to count her breaths for a full minute a few times a day the first couple of days to be sure they were within the normal range. So even if you'd had a home birth, you'd still be dealing with this right now.

The midwives where I live are allowed to give the same IV abx for GBS the hospital does, but I declined them (due to precipitous birth, it wouldn't have mattered anyway, since the first midwife arrived as I was already pushing). I did not decline because I'm opposed to abx under any circumstances. I declined because more than one study has shown that IV abx for all GBS+ women do not reduce mortality for their newborns. These studies showed that IV abx reduce the number of GBS deaths, but increase the number of other deaths, so there's no net gain. I only say all that because I think that even if you'd gotten the abx, it probably wouldn't have mattered.

You are being too hard on yourself! This is NOT your fault. Bad things happen sometimes and I'm so sorry you're having a rough time. I don't remember if I read your birth story yet (we have so many!) but I'm glad you had a good birth and I'll be thinking about you and your baby. I hope he has a speedy recovery.

[Lilcrunchie]

Oh my goodness....no way is it your fault mama!!!!! Please do not blame yourself in any way. We are here to support you and surround you and your little one with positive thoughts.

Please, please don't blame yourself.

I hope you are both home soon and on the road to recovery. We are here for you if you need to vent/talk.

Much love coming your way!

[gcgirl]

It's great to hear this stuff, especially that we would have been warned to look for signs of rapid breathing anyway. The good news is all the staff here have been very comforting as well. The main nurse we've been dealing with said pretty much the same thing Plummeting...that even with the abx the risk of passing GBS is small and they have to watch the baby's breathing anyway.

I'm feeling better about this since Julian's respiration was last logged at 60, and he hasn't been below 80-120 since last night. So that sounds like progress. He still hasn't developed any other symptoms.

Thanks again everyone.

[judybean]

Originally Posted by gardenmommy

Hugs, mama. Sometimes you do everything "right", and stuff still happens. It doesn't mean anything was your fault. I hope you and your LO are soon resting peacefully at home.

this. exactly. (nak, 1ht)

dd3 was my first drug-free birth, my first nursling (didn't wean until 40 months), we delayed her eating solids for a long time, didn't vax, and basically did everything i thought was 'right'... and yet she was the first child of mine to go to the hospital at all and even nearly died because of a blood disorder (after a hospital transfer 2.5 hours to the north, a stay in the PICU, two or three blood transfusions, etc). for a while i was quite bitter about it... because i felt like i'd done things 'right' for her health/wellbeing and everything went so horribly wrong. ... and then i just waited for the 'well, see, breastfeeding *doesn't* fix everything' .. or ... 'you should have just vaxed her' (though it had nothing to do with anything).. or gosh.. just ANYTHING.

but it wasn't my fault. in fact, i was comforted (through others .. an old ddc board actually!) with being told, 'just imagine how bad things could be if you *didn't* do things 'right' for her' ...

you birthed naturally and that does *SOOOOOO* much for your body and your baby! you did well by him. now you just have to overcome this hurdle.. and you'll be moving on to your new and beautiful life with babe.

many hugs and lots of love to you

[Snapdragon]

l

[gcgirl]

Finally, access to a computer again and time to use it! For a few minutes anyway...

For those of you who wondered whatever happened with us, DS ended up spending a night in the NICU to finish up his abx and to monitor his breathing. The NICU staff were wonderful and basically broke the rules to allow me to bed down there overnight so I could stay close and bf Julian. It wasn't ideal by any means, but it was better than having to leave him there and go home.

DS is FINE. We are healthy, happy, and HOME! He's already back up to (and over) his birthweight, and his breathing has mostly normalized. It was all a big scare over nothing. I have to say though, after talking to the NICU nurses, I've come to terms with having to do the abx. Hearing some of the stories of nurses who have watched otherwise healthy babies succumb rapidly to GBS when there were no signs in advance, I understand why the docs get so worried about it.

I also have to say that I feel we are very, very lucky. Seeing the other babies in the NICU really puts everything in perspective. DS was a healthy nine pound baby. The other babies were either premies or seriously ill, and DS was completely out of place there. Those poor babies have to stay in the NICU for a loooong time, and we only had to spend one night. As much as our experience fell short of a postpartum ideal, I know it could have been worse.

[Juvysen]

So glad you're home now and everyone's doing well!