Cyclic xtreme nipple pain, don't want to wean

[langdonslady]

Any BTDT advice welcome:
This did not happen with my first child, whom I weaned at 2 1/2, being pg with #2 and having extreme heebies and wanting to be able to eat dairy again (joke was on me, as #2 was also allergic to dairy!)

Anyway, my son is going to be 2 1/2 in May, and I just got my menses back 2 months ago, and they are irregular (14 days and 26 days between, so far, and now at day 19 and cramping). Anyway, each time I am about 2 weeks past my last menses, my nipples hurt so bad I almost can't bear nursing.

I nightweaned him recently, and that is good for my mothering and he seems to sleep better.

But what I am wondering is, is this horrific nipple pain due to hormones, or a sudden supply dip that causes him to nurse too hard with too little result? It hurts so much it makes me consider total weaning right here, right now. Even a shirt brushing me hurt. I have no idea if the nipple pain is causing me to nurse less which causes less supply, or if my supply dipped first causing him to nurse harder, causing the pain. All I know is, it is happening with each cycle, and then goes away.

For what it's worth, I have PCOS, and broken out this week, which should be midcycle but now cramping, so it might be another unusually short cycle.
I am pretty darned sure I am not pg, because both times before, I felt the ovulation, felt the implantation, felt the characteristic cervix change, and knew I was pg even before the test showed it, so pregnancy doesn't seem to sneak up on me.

Maybe there's nothing for it but to bull through and hope my supply comes back and/or the pain goes away as hormones change, but hoping for encouragement.

I wanted to let this child self-wean despite the fact that due to his numerous food allergies, until he is weaned, I cannot eat dairy, egg, soy, chocolate (I know, that was a low blow!), tomato, blueberry, or almonds.
Having several friends in real life who had children self-wean at 4 and 5 inspired me.

Part of me looks forward to the day I can finally eat whatever I want, and part of me realizes that once he weans, if he is younger than about 5, I will then have to start supplementing his calcium and his lactose (lactose being vital to normal brain development of nursing-age mammals).

Thoughts? Experiences?

[pbjmama]

I have nipple pain with ovulation. It is bad but only lasts 2-3 days usually. I do limit nursing more than usual during those days.

[lauren]

I can remember having that with all three children. It is rough. I guess I was fortunate that they all self weaned between 24 and 28 months. Hang in there.

[Liliana]

I have nipple pain midcycle for a day or two. I believe it is hormonal. It seems to be lessening now that my nursling is 3. Either my hormones are evening out or she nurses enough less that I'm not noticing as much.

[desamom]

I got my period back when DD was 14 months old and would have nipple pain starting about 10 days before my period (so basically before/around ovulation) and it would last until about day 3 of my period. It was awful and hurt like crazy (like make me want to stop nursing crazy). I am sure it was totally related to hormones, but not sure if also because my supply was lower.

I am now pregnant with #2 and the pain has been excruciating since the start. Then I got the creepy crawlies way earlier than expected. I really, really wanted to nurse DD (who is 23 months now) as long as I could, but instead I have been actively weaning her because nursing makes me crazy (like violent, angry feelings which I don't act on of course, but hate that I have them). We are done to 5 minutes once a day just before bed. At some point I will cut that out too, but not yet.

So this is just to say I feel your pain. It sucks. And I don't think there's a whole lot that can be done. Someone suggested evening primrose oil to me although I stopped taking it once I found out I was pregnant. It's supposed to help.

[boobs4milk]

i am the same as desamom. i have nipple pain from cd 14ish to cd2ish of the following cycle. i got pp af back at 11 1/2 weeks this time which was the longest i've ever gone! i have had low supply, but upping the supply didn't diminish the pain.

i don't really know how to alleviate the pain, other than i have *some* relief when we nurse side-lying. good luck!

[PatioGardener]

Have you tried supplementing yourself with calcium and magnesium? I've talked to a couple of moms who say this worked for them.

[langdonslady]

I understand about the creepy crawlies, and then finally being unable to handle nursing while pg, even when you know it is harmless and can be done, and want to. I had the same irritable, then angry and loathesome feelings when my dd nursed when I was pg with #2, and that is why I weaned her at the time, at 2.5 years old, even though I would like to have nursed longer. I just couldn't help how it made me feel, and I think it was biological, not psychological, because I was totally into nursing, child-led weaning, and accepted the idea of tandem nursing. Just found I couldn't do it.

And actually, I have 3 friends who had kids that self-weaned at about 5 years old, and when my 5.5 yo DD recently felt like she wanted to try nursing again because her brother is (he's nearly 2.5), I let her try it, despite feeling weird about it. Well, it was terrible. I felt like crawling right out of my skin. I did not give in to the powerful urge to push her away, but after about 30 seconds, couldn't take it any more and said that was enough. If she wants to try it again, I will have to just say no, that she is too old for that now. I think that is kinder than feeling such horrid feelings toward her, which are not her fault or mine either, because I think she picks up on it. Better to just say no and let that be that, and then show her that I love her some other way.

For what it's worth, I really don't think that it's some buried psychological problem with nursing. I was breastfed in a time when that made my mother the freak, to do it at all, and fought through major challenges to breastfeed my daughter (cesarean and then-undiagnosed low thyroid, to name a couple), so I wasn't giving up on it lightly.

I think that some of us just have strong hormonal reactions to it at certain times, that affect how we feel about it in powerful ways, and it's ok to recognize that and respond appropriately.

[desamom]

Just wanted to say thanks to langdonslady for that last reply. Made me feel a little better just to have someone else describe what I felt/feel. The guilt I have over weaning my daughter is unbearable at times. I sometimes feel like I'm not good enough because I can't nurse my daughter through this pregnancy, but I know that ultimately I am doing the right thing. I would much rather have nice cuddly, snuggling time with her before bed, then the horrific watch-the-clock 5 minute nursing session where I resented every minute and I know she could feel that.

But it makes me sad...so so sad. And I absolutely believe it is biological. In the same way that many of us lose our milk and the nipple pain, etc. Our bodies are telling us to stop. There has to be something to say for that.