Frustrated with the demand to nurse my 19 month old every hour ... HELP!

[JanineRivera]

I am not sure where to post this ...

We just recently night weaned my 19 month old because I was just at the end of my rope being steamed rolled all night long and not sleeping for more than an hour at a time. She actually took to night weaning rather well and has been sleeping for 8 hours straight before waking up.

The down side, I have discovered, is the increase in daytime nursing. I use to love to nurse my dd whenever and wherever she wanted but I have to say that lately I am beginning to resent it. And when I try to distract her or ask her to wait a minute before nursing she throws quite a fit; she gets herself so worked up that I feel that there is no other choice but to nurse her AGAIN even though I just did less than an hour ago.

I feel guilty for feeling so resentful and I don't know why all of a sudden I hate nursing so much. Any ideas or words of wisdom?

I am not completely ready to wean; I wanted to make it to at least 2 years, but not sure how I am going to do it. I thought at one point that I would be all for BLW and feel sad that I no longer think I can hang that long. Although, the idea of weaning is not that attractive either because of my recent experience with what my dd does when I do try to ask her to wait a little longer between nursing sessions.

How do I slowly and gently wean?????

Thanks you so much Mamas,
Janine

[Nazsmum]

[Tjej]

Is she at all bored? Having something new going on can help distract her out of this new habit.

I would say that it is very normal to have increased daytime nursing right after nightweaning. Any stressor/change causes my DS to nurse more often.

Some other thoughts: are you sitting somewhere you generally nurse her when she comes and asks? Can you try being in different spots than you normally nurse her, so it doesn't come to mind?

I personally have much stricter limits with nursing. Most days it is upon waking and before naps/bed, although lately I have cut out the before naptime nursing too. I find that if I have a certain time we do it and can say "at bedtime" or "at lunchtime" or whatever instead of an abiguous "not now" type reply it really helps.

HTH

Tjej

[TzippityDoulah]

well 19 months is the age they are learning their boundaries and their own power. I wouldn't think of it as just a nursing thing - but a developmental thing that is just coming out in nursing.

you need to decide how often is appropriate to nurse. that's not something anyone else can decide. and stick to it. just like you would stick to saying no to anything else that wasn't appropriate.

does she receive a lot of nutrition from then nursing? or is it mostly comfort? that should factor in... you could decide that nursing time is only before naps and bed. or that it's only in the morning and evening... or that it's only at meal time ect ect... and stick to it. she will likely be angry and fight, but it is not unloving to say "no". even if she cries.

I think often AP moms (myself included!) think that saying "no" is un-AP. but it isn't. you can still breastfeed/babywear/and be a generally loving parent and say no. and she may through temper tantrums, but if you give in each time you are teaching her in the long rub that the way to get something is to out last you with tantrums. hold her if she cries. or sing to her... or whatever you think is most comforting for her, but if you don't want to nurse her, don't. and if you're going ot say "no" you need to mean it every time or don't bother saying no in the first place.

I don't mean it coldly at all. but you really need to decide when it's appropriate to nurse so that she can feel secure in it. if you're always saying "no" and then doing it anyway it sends very mixed messages that likely make her insecure and wanting to nurse more for security. it's a cyclical! if you want her to stop nursing all of the time you need to make her feel secure and empowered in this new phase of her life.