How should I tell my VERY attached only-child 4.5 year old I'm pregnant?

[quelindo]

My son is used to having me to himself pretty much all the time. We've never had a babysitter besides my sister occasionally during the day (and I mean VERY occasionally), we homeschool and we co-sleep. So essentially my son is pretty much always with me, and he's very much a mama's boy (and I mean that in the best way possible). He does have three half-siblings but they're much older (21, 19, and 16) and he doesn't see them that much.

I'm five weeks pregnant, and I wondering how we should tell him that we're expecting a baby. I know enough not to say, "Hey! We're going to have a new baby!" since I don't want him to feel as though we're replacing him. Beyond that, I'm lost.

Does anyone have any experience with this? Or any suggestions for me? TIA!

[OTMomma]

I think the first thing, is to be sure you are comfortable with the pregnancy inside yourself, and feel ready to talk about it- I told my oldest about my 3rd before I was ready to tell the whole world- she called all the grandparents and everything..... anyway, I'm just saying you don't have to get in a hurry, there is lots of time.

Have you EVER talked to your ds about siblings? If not, I might start with reading some books or watching some videos with siblings- they don't even have to be the "new baby" kind of books- just ones where you can point out brothers and sisters and how they have fun together. You may even want to mention you would like for him to have a sibling to play with (don't say "wouldn't you like a brother or sister?" because he may say no at first). Make some playdates with friends with siblings, point out other people's babies, mention if you or your dp have a sibling. Take some time to do these things, over days or weeks. When you feel ready to tell your ds about the new baby, make a big deal of how He is becoming a big brother, my dd got a "I'm a big sister" shirt that she really loved and got to wear it to a family get together to announce our pregnancy with #2. It made her feel part of it.

Other things I've done to help my kids- during the pregnancy we look at pictures of my older one as a baby and such. I refer to the baby as "our baby"- indicating the baby is not a replacement but an addition. I encourage the kids to pat my belly and talk to the baby as I get rounder.

Congrats!

[lotusdebi]

Wait until you're in the second trimester! Believe me, you'll get sick of, "When's the baby coming? Will the baby be born soon? Can you have the baby tomorrow?"

I think that just talking about it, reading books about it, and referencing familiar shows and people will help. You can give him the option of naming your fetus while in the womb (my son came up with "Macoroni Rock Star". The "Rock Star" part stuck and we even used the theme for his 1st birthday party.)

I loved having the book "It's Not The Stork" on hand to help explain things to my son.

Hope that helps!