no sleep with 6mo twins

[livingfree]

i am about to die from sleep depravation. my boys have slept great until now. but i am burning out, fast!

here's the current situation. we rotate babies between our bed, the co-sleeper and the swing. we are getting a crib asap. but i'm not used to putting a baby anywhere other than my bed, so all this is new to me (my dd co-slept).

k starts out in bed with us. he nurses, and rolls over and sleeps pretty soundly. j starts out in the co-sleeper and is currently waking every 1.5-2.5 hours. i sit up and nurse him and sometimes i can put him back down, sometimes dh then takes him and rocks him back to sleep. he sometimes sleeps better in the swing, so dh will put him in the swing sometimes. sometimes we put k in the swing b/c he sleeps longer without waking up and then i can put j in bed and getting a slightly longer stretch of sleep.

a couple of months ago, before everyone in my house got sick for a month, k was sleeping 6 to 8 hours in the swing. i would put j down in the co-sleeper and he was waking up every 3 hours. so i'd feed him and put him back in the co-sleeper and eventually just put him in the bed. by the time that k woke up and wanted in the bed, we could put j back in the co-sleeper.

i just don't know what to do anymore. how do i know if they *need* to nurse at night? how can i get more sleep? if just one of the babies would sleep a long stretch somewhere other than my bed, then i'd be ok. i am SO tired and i have no idea how to be consistant and try to get them to sleep, while also AP'ing them.

help!

[RadTwins]

Well, I've absolutely NO experience with this as I'm still pregnant with my twins, but since no one else has responded yet, here's my two cents.

You may have to give up some of your AP dreams/principles with twins. Not all, just some, because you're a better mom when you're not exhausted. I know you want to co-sleep, but if putting both of them in a crib(s) allows you to get a good night's rest, that's more important. You can still practice AP during the day.

Someone gave us the book "The Baby Sleep Solution" by Suzy Giordano. She says that once they weigh over 9 pounds, they should be able to sleep through the night. The book is not AP oriented at all, but she developed her method of getting babies to sleep 12 hours per night when she had her own twins and has used it to help other parents many times since. It's essentially a "sleep training" book, which I have heard is a no-no, but I'm useless without sleep, so I plan to try it anyway.

I read somewhere that in singleton forums, moms talk about 'whether' to sleep train, but in multiple forums, moms talk about 'which method' of sleep training to use. This book is not a cry-it-out style. You don't have to do that to get them to sleep through the night (or so it says--again I've got no experience, but she says it works).

Good luck and may you have many hours of sweet dreams in the near future.

[Julia'sMom]

My twins are only 4 months. However, I agree that not all my AP principles apply. I too coslep with dd1 and planned to with the twins. After attempting that for a while, I gave up. Now they co-sleep together in a crib. I still tandem nurse them when one wakes and then put them both down again. I'm trying to only nurse the one that wakes, but every time I do I have a miserable night because I get no sleep. You need to balance your needs with the babies needs to help all of you function. I do find that after the last feeding (around 5am or so) I co-sleep with both babies. I put one on each side of me and that helps us all stay asleep for at least one more hour when they're so close to waking up. Good luck!

[nd_deadhead]

I remember hitting the wall at 6 months, from sleep depravation. I was a zombie! But it eventually got better.

You asked "How do I know if they 'need' to nurse at night?" That is a great question! My twins were big babies, and grew fast. They doubled their birth weight, from 8 pounds to 16, in 4 months. They continued to wake up every night until they were about 9 months old.

At that point I went on a business trip. When DH got up with the boys in the middle of the night and gave them a bottle, they only took about 2 ounces! They were not going to starve to death if they didn't get two ounces in 8 hours! Of course I assumed since they were waking up at night they were hungry.

So one night, instead of giving them breastmilk in the bottle, we gave them water. Both were mad, and spit it out! But you know what? After 2 nights of water, they apparently decided it wasn't wrth getting up for just water, and they slept through the night!

I'm not sure if I would try that at 6 months or not, but it might be worth a try. You just can't function without sleep.

[Intertwined]

I disagree that babies at 9 pounds are ready to sttn. My son was BORN at 9 pounds! I believe it is quite individual. I allow my babies to demand nurse at night until a year and then I put some limits on them (like 11pm-5am was good for us until they were older, not counting illnesses).

That being said, it's not for everyone and I DID hurt bad from being so tired. It was WAY easier to keep that up with one baby for sure.

Now, what I think is causing your issue is that cosleeper. I wish I'd gotten rid of it WAY sooner! By about 4 months I'm pretty sure it was quite uncomfy. We went back to using it at 8 months because we were all crammed into one very tiny room and we noticed severe changes in sleep habits. Once we were back to having that baby on the floor on a futon mattress she went back to sleeping well again. Especially since it's that baby giving you issues at night it makes me think he's uncomfortable, waking up and then wanting to nurse back to sleep and then repeating every couple of hours. You might notice a huge change once you're in a crib.

I definitely relaxed my AP principles with twins but you don't HAVE to sleep train twins. It IS still a choice and if it's not within your parameters there are other things you can do.

[overseasmomma]

With dd1, I think I inadverdently created a nursing monster. From day 1, if she made the slightest peep, I would wake up and nurse her back to sleep. I was extremely sleep deprived and was not a happy momma until I nightweaned her at 1 year old.

With the twins, I was going down the same path (with Dh) helping with night feedings up to 3 months. I fully believe in nursing on demand especially in those early months. But, once dh went back to work and I was by myself during the day, I just was not able to function during the day if I was up all night nursing.

When the twins were 3 months, Dh offered to sleep with the twins and bring them to me when they were hungry. Well, lo and behold, I was able to sttn for the first time EVER. Dh is such a heavy sleeper that when the twins started in on their little snorts and grunts ( noises that would have woken me up in a second) he kept on sleeping and guess what, so did the twins!! Once in a while, they would be hungry and start crying and he would bring them to me, but beyond that, dh got the twins to sleep through the night by not not responding to their every little twitch.

Dont know my story will help or not, but can you sleep in another room and let dh bring them to you for some of the feedings and see if they will wake up less if you are not so close by?

[kalynnsmom]

Originally Posted by Intertwined

I disagree that babies at 9 pounds are ready to sttn. My son was BORN at 9 pounds! I believe it is quite individual. I allow my babies to demand nurse at night until a year and then I put some limits on them (like 11pm-5am was good for us until they were older, not counting illnesses).

That being said, it's not for everyone and I DID hurt bad from being so tired. It was WAY easier to keep that up with one baby for sure.

I don't think how much a baby weighs has much to do with when a baby is ready to STTN. My daughter was born close to 9 lbs! : I think it's much more individual than weight.

I, too, let the boys nurse on demand, including nights, until they were about a year old. I nightweaned them when they were about 18 months.

I definitely relaxed my AP principles with twins but you don't HAVE to sleep train twins. It IS still a choice and if it's not within your parameters there are other things you can do.

I agree.