Need good book ideas

[AmandasMom]

Hi ladies, i am totally flusterd and i'm throwing my hands up in the air screaming "Help me understand!!!".

I have attachment parented my daughter since she came out and blessed me with her life. Now she' s10 and not nearly as much fun, and I dread the daily breakdowns she has over anything and everything. So I need a book that helps me figure her out in an AP kind of way, but any way at this point.

I can't understand things she says, she isn't hearing mine, so I need to find a way to communicate with her while there is still time.

The physical person is there.... but there is this new emotional person who has me wanting to run for the hills because the this person is NOT fun

[gingsengmom]

not sure about the books, so I'll defer to others. but....

perhaps u can get involved in things she likes to do. is she involved in sports? if so, do u attend the games? what about inviting some of her friends over and having a 'beauty afternoon'--manicures, facials, etc.?
what about the 2 of u doing something you've never done before, but always wanted to? tell her u need some new music to listen to and ask who she recommends. all these things help you enter her world as well as she, yours. in the end you both understand, the worlds are still one. these type of activities help to build the bond while not being 'obvious'.

when she's having her breakdowns throughout the day, try to keep your energy level light. your being upset only helps to fuel the flames. it takes a while, one action, one thought, at a time.
hope this helps...

[Mirzam]

Not a book suggestion, but I love this blog by a very AP mama of an older child.

Pure Joy Parenting

Here's a relevant excerpt:

Seeing how I resist the swings, made me think about how I often resist my daughter’s emotional swings. When she is in a good place and in her sunny disposition, I relax and act as if this weather is going to stay forever. I’m always caught, a bit off guard, when she shifts into a moody state in a moments notice. I see how I resist and keep trying to encourage her to return to a lighter place. Just like I do the weather.
Learning to embrace the fluctuations of the season teaches me to see my daughter’s emotional states as temporary. This allows me to stay in the moment, flowing with the shifts, knowing the sun will soon shine again.

[karne]

Originally Posted by AmandasMom

I have attachment parented my daughter since she came out and blessed me with her life. Now she' s10 and not nearly as much fun

I had to laugh at this line because it's so darn honest!

I have to say that as the mom of a very AP'd dd, my idea of fun has had to shift during these preteen years, and it was a little tough at first. But if you can understand this phase of your child's development, and see where she's growing and stretching, you'll have gained some valuable insight. I find this to be a sometimes difficult, but truly amazing time of life. It has meant that I've had to learn to meet my dd in "her place", not always mine, in order to connect. Trust that the connection you have is still there.

[Ydolem]

How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk and Liberated Parents Liberated Children both by Adele Faber & Elaine Mazlish

Our Babies, Ourselves and KIDS (both by Meredith Small) & Nurtureshock have all been suggested to me.

I am currently reading the first two......good luck!

[zinemama]

The Secret of Parenting by Anthony Wolfe

http://www.amazon.com/Secret-Parenti.../dp/0374527083