I apologize in advance for the length of this.
I have always tried to provide a lot of freedom around food and allow the kids to make their own choices within a healthy framework. We buy high quality food - organic, whole grains, no high fructose corn syrup, etc. I make healthy dinners. We model healthy eating. We go to farmer's markets. We cook together. We grow a garden. We get eggs from our chickens.
Ds1 is a junk food junkie, and I can't take it anymore. Even as a 4-5yo, he would steal sugar out of the baking cupboard. He only wants to eat foods like macaroni and cheese, french fries, hamburgers, and of course, sugar sugar sugar. He begs me for it constantly. Every time we go anywhere, he pleads for "treats." When we talk about going to a movie, the first thing he mentions is getting soda pop. If we talk about going over to his grandparents' house the first thing he mentions is getting to have ice cream. He's obsessed.
Today was the last straw. I helped him pack his own lunch. He chose a salami and cream cheese sandwich, some homemade banana bread, some tortilla chips we had left over from a party, some cheddar bunnies and a sliced apple. I picked him up from his class, and he said he was starving. We were going straight to another class, so we didn't have time to stop at home. I asked him if he ate all his lunch, and he said yes. I had bought some hot cross buns at Whole Foods for lunch with a friend, and said he could have one. I handed the bag into the backseat (I was driving) and specifically said to not eat more than one. Next thing I hear is "Sorry mom, they were too good, I had to eat 3."
Then at swim practice I agreed to get him a hot chocolate because it's really cold when he gets out of the pool. Then the coach hands out M&Ms because it's "Fun Friday." We decide to go out to dinner, and he wants mac and cheese and french fries. We agree, because he won't eat anything else, and we're having kind of a celebratory night out. We even agree to let him get a 7-up that comes with the kid's meal, which we don't normally do. Then he begs to have grenadine syrup added. At the end of the meal, he begs for dessert. We never ever ever get dessert at restaurants, but for some reason dh says yes.
Then, we get home, and I'm unpacking his lunch bag - he had not taken a single bite of his sandwich. He ate none of the apple. All he ate was the banana bread and tortilla chips. So literally all he has had today is sugar and white flour.
I am so angry. I feel like I am being forced to become a food tyrant. And it's unfair for the rest of us. I used to like to bake a lot, and ds loves to bake with me, but he bugs me the whole time - can I have some plain sugar? Can I have some more of the dough? Please please please? Then he'll eat so much of what I've made that there's barely any left over for anyone else. If I make "healthy" baked goods, he's not interested, but then honestly, those really aren't much fun for any of us. Our brief foray into giving an allowance was ended because all he wanted to do with his money was buy junk. He rejects all the dinners I make unless they are "plain" - grilled chicken breast, mashed potatoes (with nothing else in it, of course), etc. I can't eat like that - I don't even like meat.
I'm just done. I feel like he needs to be taken off sugar entirely. He's healthy, he's very athletic, he's incredibly trim and muscular, but my daily experience with him is so overshadowed by his constant obsession with junk food that I just can't take it. He did a trial day at a small private school (we homeschool, and he's asked to go to school next year) and the first thing he asked was if they had a cafeteria. When I said no, he said "Shoot, I was hoping I could get some cookies when you're not around."
I don't think it's fair that the whole family can't continue to have sweets in moderation, so I don't know what to do. Do I go completely cold turkey for just him? Do I include even birthday parties and such? What about stuff like waffles with syrup? I'm afraid he's going to start sneaking and lying even more than he does, and I really don't want our relationship to go down a bad path because of this. I have no idea what to do.
I have always tried to provide a lot of freedom around food and allow the kids to make their own choices within a healthy framework. We buy high quality food - organic, whole grains, no high fructose corn syrup, etc. I make healthy dinners. We model healthy eating. We go to farmer's markets. We cook together. We grow a garden. We get eggs from our chickens.
Ds1 is a junk food junkie, and I can't take it anymore. Even as a 4-5yo, he would steal sugar out of the baking cupboard. He only wants to eat foods like macaroni and cheese, french fries, hamburgers, and of course, sugar sugar sugar. He begs me for it constantly. Every time we go anywhere, he pleads for "treats." When we talk about going to a movie, the first thing he mentions is getting soda pop. If we talk about going over to his grandparents' house the first thing he mentions is getting to have ice cream. He's obsessed.
Today was the last straw. I helped him pack his own lunch. He chose a salami and cream cheese sandwich, some homemade banana bread, some tortilla chips we had left over from a party, some cheddar bunnies and a sliced apple. I picked him up from his class, and he said he was starving. We were going straight to another class, so we didn't have time to stop at home. I asked him if he ate all his lunch, and he said yes. I had bought some hot cross buns at Whole Foods for lunch with a friend, and said he could have one. I handed the bag into the backseat (I was driving) and specifically said to not eat more than one. Next thing I hear is "Sorry mom, they were too good, I had to eat 3."
Then at swim practice I agreed to get him a hot chocolate because it's really cold when he gets out of the pool. Then the coach hands out M&Ms because it's "Fun Friday." We decide to go out to dinner, and he wants mac and cheese and french fries. We agree, because he won't eat anything else, and we're having kind of a celebratory night out. We even agree to let him get a 7-up that comes with the kid's meal, which we don't normally do. Then he begs to have grenadine syrup added. At the end of the meal, he begs for dessert. We never ever ever get dessert at restaurants, but for some reason dh says yes.
Then, we get home, and I'm unpacking his lunch bag - he had not taken a single bite of his sandwich. He ate none of the apple. All he ate was the banana bread and tortilla chips. So literally all he has had today is sugar and white flour.
I am so angry. I feel like I am being forced to become a food tyrant. And it's unfair for the rest of us. I used to like to bake a lot, and ds loves to bake with me, but he bugs me the whole time - can I have some plain sugar? Can I have some more of the dough? Please please please? Then he'll eat so much of what I've made that there's barely any left over for anyone else. If I make "healthy" baked goods, he's not interested, but then honestly, those really aren't much fun for any of us. Our brief foray into giving an allowance was ended because all he wanted to do with his money was buy junk. He rejects all the dinners I make unless they are "plain" - grilled chicken breast, mashed potatoes (with nothing else in it, of course), etc. I can't eat like that - I don't even like meat.
I'm just done. I feel like he needs to be taken off sugar entirely. He's healthy, he's very athletic, he's incredibly trim and muscular, but my daily experience with him is so overshadowed by his constant obsession with junk food that I just can't take it. He did a trial day at a small private school (we homeschool, and he's asked to go to school next year) and the first thing he asked was if they had a cafeteria. When I said no, he said "Shoot, I was hoping I could get some cookies when you're not around."
I don't think it's fair that the whole family can't continue to have sweets in moderation, so I don't know what to do. Do I go completely cold turkey for just him? Do I include even birthday parties and such? What about stuff like waffles with syrup? I'm afraid he's going to start sneaking and lying even more than he does, and I really don't want our relationship to go down a bad path because of this. I have no idea what to do.
s to you, mama - this is a tough, tough thing.
When we were really little (i.e., before we wised up), she actually made hot cocoa for us with plain baking cocoa and milk, without sugar.
