So frustrated with 8.5yo ds and sugar - Page 3

[JL83]

Originally Posted by Auntie Sapphire

You could bring a thermos of hot herbal or fruit tea for him to warm up with, instead of buying the hot chocolate.

My parents always picked me up outside the pool doors. Some of the other kids got the hot chocolate, the rest of us hurried for the warm showers to warm up.

(I live in Canada where my hair would freeze into "ice dreads" while I waited outside in the winter for my parents to pick me up.)

[newbymom05]

I agree that this sounds like a control issue. I have a monster sweet tooth as does my 5 y/o. If my DH had his way, our kids would never have any sugar at all. But I like to bake, like sweets, etc so we have them in moderation.

My DS is a sugar binger and would eat candy all day long if I let him. I used to think that my DH's attitude of scarcity contributed to that--he is big on rationing, doesn't approve of candy for instance--but reading this thread, I now think self-regulation may be just personality. My DH can take or leave sweets, I'll eat them until I'm sick. And FWIW my mom also has a big sweet tooth and we always had plenty of treats around the house (in addition to healthy food) so for me it wasn't about control, Ive always just liked to eat sweets.

[Smokering]

Two things that came to mind:

-Up his good fats. A lot of people on the TF forum find it helps with their sugar cravings.
-Isn't excessive lusting after sugar sometime symptomatic of a candida issue? Could you try giving him probiotics?

It does sound like it's a behavior/personality thing as much as a medical one, but it might be worth looking into.

[4evermom]

Oceanbaby, how about letting him buy treats with an allowance? I'm just thinking that might help differentiate between between what's a power struggle, how much he really wants something, etc. And it might make you feel like you aren't setting arbitrary rules that change from situation to situation...

Anyway, my ds was always one to go for the sugar, too. I feel like he is finally less interested in candy. Only took 4 years, lol. I try to balance having no limits with being a little proactive (feeding him something with a lower glycemic index before he gets desperately hungry and wants sweets). If he goes for sweets, I follow up with something more substantial. I give him some guidance, naming what he has eaten so far and what food groups are still lacking for the day when he is asking what there is to eat. I read the labels, talk about serving sizes, etc. He now has it in his head that he "gets" one chocolate bar a day. But he doesn't ask for one every day. I'm fine with him eating chocolate but I want to make sure he eats more fibrous foods in between.

On one level, I'd rather ds eat straight sugar than other sweet things that may have HFCS, trans fats, food coloring, preservatives, etc. Fortunately he doesn't like some things, like soda. But I keep in mind, if a soda is OK, why isn't 10 spoons of sugar? With the straight sugar, I eventually started telling ds he could have some if I got it out to bake something but otherwise I wanted it left in the cupboard so we had it when I needed it for a recipe. But this was after giving him sugar when he asked for it for a long time, otherwise I'm sure that wouldn't have worked so easily. Once in a great while he'll get some (Yay, independence, lol) but nothing like when he was younger. I actually think part of it is he is growing out of a high sleep need. I do notice a pattern of his wanting sweets when he is tired.

[Honey693]

Originally Posted by queenjane

I think you're getting into a power struggle with your kid over sugar. Its driving you crazy. IMO its not worth it. Its just sugar.

I think part of the reason your son is sooo obsessed is because he knows he cant have it.

I'd let him have as much as he wanted. Yeah, he'll probably eat til he is sick. Maybe even a couple of times. But i think its VERY likely eventually it will start being gross to him.

This may work for some kids, but not all. I'm the type of person who to this day (I know, I know) will still eat so much sugar I feel sick. Then do it again later. And repeat. I'm such a sugar junkie. I can east sugar moderately 90% of the time, but then I sugar binge. So it may be worth a shot for the OP, but it's not sure thing that her kid will get sick and never do it again. If people got sick and never did something again college kids wouldn't be drinking every weekend.

[laughymama]

Originally Posted by queenjane

I'd let him have as much as he wanted. Yeah, he'll probably eat til he is sick. Maybe even a couple of times. But i think its VERY likely eventually it will start being gross to him.

I'm another one who will say it depends on the person. I was allowed free reign of food growing up. Healthy meals were cooked and offered but I could also have whatever sugary treats or snacks I wanted.

And I did. I would eat myself sick on something sugary and do it again the next day or even hours later once the sick feeling wore off. I'm talking, soda after soda with a pound of M&Ms or a whole package of cookies..etc.


To this day I still LOVE sugar and sweet treats and if I could happily eat myself sick on them day after day if I allowed it.

[sapphire_chan]

Originally Posted by queenjane

I think the point she was trying to make is that it is *natural* that a human would prefer something sweet tasting...that we are designed that way from birth. That the reason kids are drawn to sugar is that is IS sweet. Not that breastmilk would satisfy an older child's desire for sugar.

No, she seems to be saying that the desire for sweet things comes from being fed sweet things like breast milk from a young age.

Originally Posted by JL83

My point is that it's not surprising that kids want sweet things. Especially if they are breastfed for along time, their body is used to sweet frequent meals/snacks. I don't think it's surprising that older kids want to continue that.

If having been given breastmilk regularly were the cause of the sugar addiction, then breastmilk described above as "incredibly sweet" should be at least somewhat like eating a bit of sugar.

[madskye]

He sounds hungry. And even if he's eating a lot of beans, they are a starch as well as protein--so that could be leading to more cravings on his part.

It sounds like you have some specific food things (he doesn't want chicken, you don't cook red meat very often...) that are limiting all of your food intake. Have you thought about seeing a nutritionist so that you can figure out what the optimal way of eating is for your whole family and then work toward that?

I'd focus more on what he needs to eat to be healthy--than what he can't have. Maybe work with him to figure out what kind of foods make him feel satisfied (again, the comment about what he would get to eat in school indicates to me that he's hungry or perhaps just unsatisfied with his diet) Especially since in the big picture--you don't seem to have a problem with sugar. You seem ok with it in moderation, you buy it for yourself, etc...so why demonize it for him?

I'm not crazy about sweets, all the chocolate holidays (Vday, easter, etc) frustrate me. DD woke up the other morning and the first thing she said, laying in her bed, was "Can I have girl scouts (cookies) today?" so I know where you are coming from. DD also acts like a tantrum-y nut if she gets too much sugar, but she is only 4. I just try to keep a handle on what's gone in all day--if she's been subsisting on sugar all day I know I've made mistakes. If I know she had a good proteiny breakfast and lunch, she can probably handle the "girl scouts" after pre-k.

Good luck!

[Storm Bride]

Originally Posted by Honey693

This may work for some kids, but not all. I'm the type of person who to this day (I know, I know) will still eat so much sugar I feel sick. Then do it again later. And repeat. I'm such a sugar junkie. I can east sugar moderately 90% of the time, but then I sugar binge. So it may be worth a shot for the OP, but it's not sure thing that her kid will get sick and never do it again. If people got sick and never did something again college kids wouldn't be drinking every weekend.

There are also those of us who just don't get sick. I can remember practicing counting by 5s with my candy wrappers as a kid. I can remember eating a half pound box of chocolates in about two hours (they were given to me at lunch break at work, and they were gone long before quitting time). I've done lots of other equally stupid things with sugar, and I've never been sick. I've felt vaguely queasy a few times. I've had headaches once or twice. I've never actually been sick.

[4evermom]

Originally Posted by Storm Bride

There are also those of us who just don't get sick. I can remember practicing counting by 5s with my candy wrappers as a kid. I can remember eating a half pound box of chocolates in about two hours (they were given to me at lunch break at work, and they were gone long before quitting time). I've done lots of other equally stupid things with sugar, and I've never been sick. I've felt vaguely queasy a few times. I've had headaches once or twice. I've never actually been sick.

Ds and I don't get sick, either. Not from eating food and rarely even when we have a stomach bug. So ITA that you certainly can't count on that happening. But the no limits thing with some gentle guidance has worked out fine for us, regardless. There is only so much ice cream one can eat before wanting something else.

[txbikegrrl]

Originally Posted by txbikegrrl

Your son sounds "spirited" I work with those students and think my son is going to be one that always tries to stretch limits and test boundaries. In my work I accept it expect it and actually tell students those are good questions explain why and stay calm. So for instance the no pure sugar is because of what it does to insulin levels (explained on level) since eating it out of the box or spilled on the table is the same the answer is no. But it's okay mixed in with the protein of eggs maybe pb and st else like whole grains. Just remember his thinking outside the box will be an asset soon prob is now in other areas. Also you ate dealing with it nonstop if HS.

I thought about my response more after hitting send and realized you never said he pushes boundaries in any other area so maybe this is all about the sugar. If so I'd definitely check out possible medical explanations then decide how to focus on the positives (what he needs to eat to stay healthy and be an athlete) but put a few limits in place. This is coming from a total sugar holic. I do have to say that I was so bad in my 20's nothing tasted too sweet to me so I followed a sugar/carb detox program strictly for a month then afterwards was amazed at some of the things I would eat before. I still crave sugar and eat more sweets than DH but it must be inborn because DS loved chocolate the first time he tried it at school and talked about it all the way home in the car and we've had difficulty with his language development but not when it came to talking about the treat!

[txbikegrrl]

Originally Posted by Storm Bride

There are also those of us who just don't get sick. I can remember practicing counting by 5s with my candy wrappers as a kid. I can remember eating a half pound box of chocolates in about two hours (they were given to me at lunch break at work, and they were gone long before quitting time). I've done lots of other equally stupid things with sugar, and I've never been sick. I've felt vaguely queasy a few times. I've had headaches once or twice. I've never actually been sick.

I have a coworker/friend like this -- once she bought one of those big (like 2-lb maybe) boxes of chocolates for the office but got stuck in traffic and ate at least 75% of it on the way in to work! We're always amazed she doesn't get sick.

[Storm Bride]

Originally Posted by txbikegrrl

I have a coworker/friend like this -- once she bought one of those big (like 2-lb maybe) boxes of chocolates for the office but got stuck in traffic and ate at least 75% of it on the way in to work! We're always amazed she doesn't get sick.

I've always wished I did. I thought I might be less inclined to overeat on sugar so badly if it made me sick, yk?

[NYCVeg]

Dd is also a sugar junkie (takes after mama, ahem). She has very extensive food allergies, so we don't want to take away the sugar altogether--she so rarely gets to "participate" in food with her peers, and she already has so many limitations, that we want her to be able to experience some joy with her food and eat some of the things her peers eat, or allergen-free alternatives.

We simply allow one treat a day, and she gets to pick what and when. So if she wants a piece of dark chocolate after breakfast, fine--but that's it for the rest of the day. She might take a few mini allergen-free cookies in her lunch to school, or if we've baked something allergen-free over the weekend, she can have one of whatever it is when she gets home.

We make exceptions for a few special occasions. If we're visiting relatives for a holiday, and all the cousins are having ice cream for dessert, we won't say even if she's already had, say, a brownie earlier in the day. If it's another kid's birthday at school, her teachers can give her a safe alternative to whatever treat is being offered, even if she had a few cookies in her lunch (we never know ahead of time about these things, and, again, don't want her to feel more left out than she already does). And if it's her birthday, all bets are off!

This works for us. It might not work for every kid and, sure, dd protests now and again, but overall I think it keeps her sugar consumption to a reasonable level while stay letting her feel that she gets enough treats.

ETA: I definitely agree with others on packing a more balanced lunch. That's a lot of grains! Dd typically gets: a sandwich on brown rice bread (turkey and cheese, sunbutter, etc.) OR another protein/whole grain combo (leftover roast chicken and quinoa, for example), plus a veggie (avocado, carrot sticks, cucumber slices), and some fruit. Sometimes she'll get a yogurt and sometimes instead of the veggie we'll put in black beans or lima beans.