Reevaluating my ability to homeschool

[lilempressmommy]

At 24 months old, DDis language delayed and socially delayed, her expressive language and social skills measuring around 15mo while her receptive language and other cognitive abilities are 20 months old. She's entering group therapy in the form of a modified preschool-type classroom, 5 days a week. This will last either 6 months or until she turns 3, depending on her progress.

I have no doubts that she'll do well in group therapy and likely catch up to her peers in language and social skills before three. While I'm still weighing my options on her schooling, homeschooling from kindergarten on was a very real possibility for us, since the local public schools are crap and the learner centered charter is a lottery system.

But now, I'm really doubting whether or not I can homeschool her. I'm a SAHM, with DD all day and while I know there are many factors that may have to do with her language delay -- particularly that she is a very physical child -- I can't help but think maybe I didn't stimulate her enough? She is a very bright, inquisitive little thing who just doesn't speak well. Am I in danger of keeping her back by choosing to homeschool later on when I can't seem to provide enough stimulation to speak just taking care of her now?

[Shellie]

I graduated from AJSHS so I am familar with the crap school system.

My personal opinion is that it's very early to start worrying about your ability to homeschool her. Even if she can receive services (EI?) through the public school system into her compulsory years, you can still homeschool. And there's no way to predict her situation in 3-4 years. She may catch up and there may be no sign she was ever delayed. I think your observation that she'll catch up by three is spot on--I have experienced similar to what you describe with a couple of my own (one has medical issues that led to a GDD and the other just didn't want to learn to talk, apparently) but they caught up (and then some) around three.

Am I in danger of keeping her back by choosing to homeschool later on when I can't seem to provide enough stimulation to speak just taking care of her now?

That sounds like stinkin'-thinkin'. I truly believe some kids have their own timetables--they aren't all going to fit into the "average" mold. I believe in EI because it helps those whose issues would not resolve on their own, but the fact that she's getting outside help does not mean that you failed her in any way. And it certainly doesn't reflect on your ability to teach her in the future. JMHO as a homeschooling veteran with 4 kiddos, one special needs.

Be kind to yourself, mama.

[elizawill]

hugs. i'm so sorry you are even having to worry about such things with your toddler. fwiw, my little boy (6 today), was fairly "delayed" compared to age milestones & his peers at just about every stage until recently. for *us*, it was never a concern & i knew my little guy was where he needed to be. he was simply learning at his own pace. he was immature and needed more time than others, and i was fine with that. i don't know your situation really, so i certainly don't want to invalidate your feelings.... but i *think* you're probably be overly concerned about an issue that doesn't need so much worry. i definitely think you can homeschool and your child will benefit even more from the one on one instruction and tailor-made education. try not to worry

[SundayCrepes]

My bioson was in speech therapy from 9 to 12 months because he wasn't making any sounds. By 27 months he was saying, "Do you see me standing on the sandbox" and at 29 months he said, "These flowers smell like pollination."

My adopted daughter entered speech therapy at 12 months. She's 20 months and only has a handful of spoken words. She can sign tons which is how she communicates. Her birthmom and 2 birthsiblings were all in speech therapy. Einstein didn't talk until 4. Speech is a product of the mouth. If the mouth doesn't mature until later, speech doesn't happen until later.

My daughter's biological family is full of individuals who were in special education. I don't know what my daughter's abilities will be, but she will never feel stigmatized by being in special ed. I will simply help her learn in her own unique way. We are unschoolers so that, of course, will make a huge difference.

You know if you have the personality to do this or not. I wouldn't get caught up on her unique needs. Remember, you will have more time to individualize her education to her needs than any overworked teacher will. There are numerous resources you can turn to for help. Remember, special education is about teaching the way the child needs to learn.

[BellinghamCrunchie]

DD had receptive and expressive speech delays until age three, when she tested at age level. We did the therapeutic playgroups and speech therapy, too.

I don't think the interventions are what brought her to age level, honestly. I think it was partly just the way her brain worked (auditory processing needed more time to mature) and me spending a lot of one-on-one time on the floor with her.

I think most children learn much better one-on-one than in a playgroup, anyway, or a supposedly highly social environment like school (I say supposedly because in my observation, DD learned social skills much faster with a single playmate to engage with, rather than a group).

I think if you are worried about language and social development, homeschooling is a better choice than school.

[Stacey B]

I know it isn't always helpful to hear other's stories, but I wanted to tell you about my ds a little. At 24mo he had 7 words he just didn't have much interest in speaking, yet. Now at 3.5 he can explain the transition from ice to water to steam. It was just the speed he works at. Children develop at different speeds and need different stimulus at different points. I think the best thing you can do right now is to proceed in your mind that you are going to homeschool, learn as mush as you can, every once in a while reassess what you think is right for you and your child.

[Savoir Faire]

A LOT can change between 24 months and 5 years. A LOT. I know it is hard to believe me...but it is true.

You are not the cause of anything.

[mom2ponygirl]

I agree with everyone else. There is no reason, from what you've stated here, to question your ability to homeschool or the suitability of homeschooling for your daughter.
Some children develop more slowly due to learning differences and some just because they develop on their own timetable and not the one published in the book. In either case, homeschooling could still be a wonderful choice. Give her some time, keep investigating, and I think you will find that your confidence returns.

FWIW, my parents were very concerned about me. I was nearly two before walking or talking. In fact, I wouldn't even stand and support my weight and the doctors had my legs x-rayed to try and figure out what was wrong. I was the 5th kid, and didn't follow the usual family pattern. I still ended up reading fluently by 5 and a nationally ranked athlete in my teens.

[dannic]

It's hard to let go of mommy guilt! I don't think that this hampers your ability to give your daughter what she needs at all...I also think you have plenty of time to evaluate the needs of your dd and figure out how you can best accomodate them.

[caefi]

Let me start by saying I agree with the others about not using this it doubt your ability to homeschool your child.

BUT, let me ask you as if it could be. If her speech delays are due to your life, your skills as a parent and your ability to 'teach' her - What can you do different from this day on to prevent further issues? Step back and view the situation - find possible causes, solutions and preventive methods for the future.

I think it's a good parent who stops and asks themself - is what we're doing working? do we need to try something new, or a different way? and make changes where you see the need to.

[sbgrace]

I have one child who was quite delayed at your daughter's age and another (same age, they are fraternal twins) who was on target or ahead for everything.
It's not you.

I'm homeschooling both of them.

[TiredX2]

From what I understand this is an exageration:

Originally Posted by SundayCrepes

Einstein didn't talk until 4.

I only point this out because many people take it to mean that you don't need to worry until after four, but if your child is not talking at all by two there *might* be a problem.

While Einstein's parents were concerned about his lack of speaking that was because he didn't speak until two. Sometime between two and three, though, he was speaking in complete sentences.