Struggling with my 3 year old's latest phase

[sunnygir1]

She will "fall" onto the floor, just kind of go limp, from standing, from her Trip Trap, etc. She will walk between the baby swing and the wall, or some other hard-to-reach place. Then she will say, "help, I'm stuck, I can't get up," usually in a really whiney voice. Of course, she is very capable of getting up or whatever.

When I write it out it doesn't sound so bad, but it is driving me crazy. I don't like doing what she wants when she is squealing, whining, and grunting, or demanding in an unpleasant voice. I also am pretty sleep deprived and so have an especially low tolerance for whining.

I don't want to take her places because it is so difficult to get her ready to go when it is time to leave. Sometimes she is very cooperative, but usually it is a huge struggle every step (picking up toys, getting on pants, socks, shoes, coat, etc.) I always give her plenty of warning about transitions, but it doesn't help much these days.

So, we have a 6 month old, and I'm sure dd is wanting to be babied a little. And she's 3, so she is certainly experimenting with controlling and manipulating (I don't mean this word in a negative sense) her world.

Sometimes I just do what she wants, sometimes I can get her to laugh about it and get up on her own, sometimes I ignore her until she talks to me in a nicer way (which she will usually do...eventually), sometimes I tell her she will have to go to her room or outside if she's going to act like that (and then I have to follow through with that, of course), and occasionally I lose my temper with her and raise my voice.

Just needed to vent and receive any words of wisdom or experience you all can offer.

[meemee]

i have an onlie and those are the exact things she did when she was 3. i think its a growing up phase where they both want to be grown up and yet a baby.

i didnt have a baby to make it harder on me.

what i would do - and i know this is hard - is baby her when she doesnt ask for it. when you are not so exhausted.

our house was full of polar bears, crocodiles, pirhanas and dragons that my dd needed constant rescuing from. most of the time though i would laugh at all the strategies she would come up with for me to pick her up. i think she just wanted to be held.

so i see it as a scary time for them. they need more hugs and reassurances. the whining didnt affect me because i could see dd wanted more connection with me. i came from a no touchy feely house so i could understand her need.

i would involve her more with the baby - allow her to mother the baby to the point you are comfortable with and spend more one on one time with her.

honestly no matter how hard it got i was always grateful for dd to be whiny or mad or hitting because they helped me be the mother she wanted. i was guided with what she wanted.

parenting is hard and all you can do is make it through those times. esp. at this age with a baby.

take care of yourself the best you can and you will find you deal with all this a little bit better.

[Grace and Granola]

OP, we are going through the exact same thing with my 3 year old. Whining is his tone of choice these days. He complains about everything. If I touch him, he'll say I hurt him. Like if I pat his head as I walk by, he'll start whining that I hurt his hair! Stuff like that all.the.time. The other day he was whining that he needed a drink, full force half whining half crying about it. I got down and said, "I would be happy to help you if you would stop whining and ask me in a nice voice." Immediately, he put on a smile and said, "Mommy, may I have a drink please?" UGH!!!!

I don't remember going through this with my first son, but maybe we did. I remember when ds1 was 3 thinking that the terrible twos were nothing compared to 3!

I feel for you...though I have no real advice! It's the same here, and we don't have a young baby, so I think it's just a 3yo thing.

[mamaflutter]

I'm right there with ya mamas my dd is 3 too and dose the same thing. It dose drive ya nuts and being preg its makin me even crazier! When she dose her whine I just tell her its not attractive and she won't be getting whatever it is she's whining about from me untill she can be a big girl, that works occasionally. Mine dose the I'm stuck can't get up thing too unless she really is stuck I tell her you got in/down u can get up too. She will eventually. We also have monsters of all sorts in our house but mommys magic invisible monster repelent spray usually takes care of them quick. Maybe all kids go trough this but u are not alone my friend!
Candi

[ElliesMomma]

my DD is 3, almost 4, and doing this too. we also have a 6 mo DS. one thing she really likes is hearing about how she did this or that as a baby, just like DS does. i tell her about how she was as a baby all the time.

also i've explained to her that i can't understand what she wants when she whines (like a baby) and that if she tells me in words, i'll be able to get it. also, tone of voice. if she yells something or "demands" something i'll say that i can do it for her if she asks nicely. (something i need to work on for myself as well, i'm sure.)

also as of late, she has started -- when she gets really mad or frustrated -- putting on this really "ugly" face and screaming. i have coined this her "wolf face" and began laughing at her when she does this... laughing in a good way. it difuses the situation. also though i have told her that the wolf face is scarey, and that i can't do whatever it is she wants until i see the "nice face" and she tells me in words.