Advice Needed: Public-Schooled Stepson, Homeschooled Bio-Son

[cicada]

I've been a stepmom now for going-on 5 years. My stepson is 9 and in the 3rd grade and my son is 4 and just beginning to homeschool. My stepson has been through 6 school changes in his life that have all been initiated by his Bio-Mom. One of those changes was when he was in the First grade when she moved an hour away and decided to homeschool. My husband did all the homeschooling work during that time (he'd always wanted to homeschool my SS) and DSS thrived. Then she (without telling us until 2 weeks before school started) enrolled him into a Montessori school an hour away. Now, after DSS's one semester in a different Private School and almost a year into a local public school, I am beginning to homeschool my Bio-Son.

Although not a major problem, there is some obvious jealousy on my DSS's part. Totally understandable. If anyone has any ideas on how to handle that, I would greatly appreciate it.

Also not a major problem (yet) is my son's desire to be like big brother and attend public school. Now if he is older and decides firmly that he wants to go to public school, we will abide (very tearfully), but we have always wanted to homeschool (my husband has wanted to homeschool since the birth of my stepson, although his ex-wife has other plans, and I have wanted to since the birth of our son) and I will be pretty disappointed if this is the decision my son makes in the future.

Has anyone had this experience? Have any advice?

[greenemami]

No advice, but we will be in the same situation-dsd is public schooled and dd and ds will be homeschooled. Dd already asks to ride the bus like her big sister etc. which makes me nervous, but so far she is happy with the idea that some kids go to school and some kids have mom (or dad) as their teacher. Dsd sometimes expresses jealously that dd and ds will not have homework, but so far that is all she has said about it, other than being impressed when dd learns something new and saying that homeschool must really work, lol. Anyway, good luck and I hope we both get some advice

[cicada]

it's at least good to know there's someone out there with the same issue!

good luck to us!

[kitty waltz]

Now, after DSS's one semester in a different Private School and almost a year into a local public school, I am beginning to homeschool my Bio-Son.

Although not a major problem, there is some obvious jealousy on my DSS's part. Totally understandable. If anyone has any ideas on how to handle that, I would greatly appreciate it.

Also not a major problem (yet) is my son's desire to be like big brother and attend public school. Now if he is older and decides firmly that he wants to go to public school, we will abide (very tearfully), but we have always wanted to homeschool (my husband has wanted to homeschool since the birth of my stepson, although his ex-wife has other plans, and I have wanted to since the birth of our son) and I will be pretty disappointed if this is the decision my son makes in the future.

Has anyone had this experience? Have any advice?

Well I have a similar experience going on here. Is your DSS living at home?

I have 2 stepkids, DSS 6 yo and DSD 5 yo, they live out of state and go to school. My 2 kids - 6 and 8 - have always been hs'ed. {Mu husband and I married a yr ago.} Since my kids were little I have counteracted the propaganda everywhere about the bus and how fun school is etc- pbs kids shows, tv commercials, movies, the lady at the grocery.. everywhere they hear this message. So I've always told them how much choice they have in hsing, how they have so many friends of different ages, etc. As a result my kids feel a bit bad for kids who go to school. So when they hear about the step-kids' school life, they are interested but not jealous. The step kids however have a diff view of homeschool and think its all fun all the time {which it is, but in a different way than they seem to think!}.. so we talk to them about the projects we work on, we even do some math or geography when they are here so they see a bit of what we do. Because they are accustomed to school, educational=boring to them, so they usually roll their eyes when an 'educational' activity is first brought up.. but once we get into it, they enjoy another take on learning. I also always make a point to remind DSS and DSD of all their friends at school, and such and so forth that they enjoy about their class. Every time they leave, they say they wish they could stay and hs with us. Its a tough line to walk. My kids ask me why doesn't their mommy homeschool them too? and its so difficult to answer with 4 little precious children innocently awaiting my reply. I tell all the kids that every parent makes different decisions, just like every house has different rules, and that I chose to hs and their mommy chose public school. I hope that this will become accepted wisdom!