Biting and hitting in 17-month old.

[journey1000miles]

Our almost-17-month-old DS is normally very well-behaved. Lately, we've been having two disciplinary issues: he bites me when he wants something and he occasionally hits.

The biting started around eight months when he would signal that he was done nursing. (He still does it while nursing...ouch!) Then it expanded to times when he wants to signal that he needs a diaper change, wants to eat, or wants a change of location. He almost always bites my shoulder. For example, I'll be holding him at a family event and he will bite my shoulder (hard!) because he wants to be put down or have a diaper change. He communicates well with sign language and speaking, and knows how to sign 'diaper' and say 'food', so I'm puzzled as to why he would bite me! He also bites only me...not my DH.

Hitting seems to come out of nowhere. He'll be playing nicely with me, DH, or friends...and then will slap us in the face. A few days ago he was playing happily with a little girl his age and then turned and slapped her, in front of her mom. I was so embarrassed and confused because there was no reason for him to hit her. I always tell him, firmly, "no thank you!" and move him out of that situation.

Any advice? If this is normal, then any ideas on when he'll outgrow it? I'm just starting to gather gentle discipline resources. I want to get DS off to a good start and I'm finding these two snags to be perplexing!

[mama_mimi]

I just posted a similar thread in probably the wrong place - parenting/toddlers.

Good to know someone else is enduring the same thing! Maybe by sharing my situation it will help you feel at ease a bit? My son is 15mo and doing similar things. He bites my shoulder but I didn't really think about that as a problem because it is so rare, but usually done when I'm not paying him enough attention. The hitting is bothering me though. But he hits the cat and other objects as well so I'm wondering if it is a normal stage and/or part of being a boy. I've noticed he does it more when I'm preoccupied or he is having a particularly clingy day and I'm having a I'm-8-mo-pregnant-and-can't-hold-you-all-day kind of day. Have you read The Discipline Book by Dr Sears? Trying to figure out the cause (sleepy, hungry, etc.) and eliminating that but also getting down to their level and stopping the action, explaining that we don't do that, and showing him what a gentle touch is. Usually after this routine DS gives me a little baby hug, which is cute but he often sits back up and slaps me in the face again, even shaking his head no! [Trying not to laugh] I just continue with the correction. Dr Sears says to withdrawal a bit so they understand there is a consequence to their actions. For me, this usually makes things worse.

So maybe there is something in there you can use. Hopefully you'll get some better advice here.

Blessings!