Hi! New to UC but not to homebirth.. Have some concerns....

[stellamia]

First off I am SO grateful for this forum! I don't know what I'd do without it!

My first baby was born at home. It was a midwife assisted waterbirth. My beautiful 9lb 5oz baby with his big ole head was safely delivered 6 days after his due date. I'm fairly certain most Dr's would have given me the whole "He's not going to fit through your pelvis" speech...which I would have laughed at because I know it's bogus.... Anyway, I tend to ramble...

My second baby was a Midwife assisted hospital birth (never saw a Dr..had total control and say over everything). She didn't do homebirths at the time so that's why we went to the hospital.

SO, I know for certain that I want another homebirth and we've already been to my Midwife (who delivered baby #2 and now does homebirths) but I'm just starting to learn toward UC.... One of the main reasons is money though. Is that bad? Should my main reason be something more spiritual? Or natural?
I feel guilty that money is the main drive right now...but we don't have 3k to spend on a birth! Our ins. would fully cover a hospital birth but who wants that?

I love the idea of it just being my little family at the birth...but I also have concerns. What if something goes wrong? What if the baby comes out and doesn't breathe on his own? What if I bleed too much or pass a huge clot (like I did after my 1st...I was given a pitocin injection by my MW).

Also, DH is SO into homebirth...he hates hospitals and wonders why so many people want to deliver they baby in germ infested rooms for the sick and dying....but he's not sold on UC. He told me that he wants to be my support and he feels that he couldn't be that if he's delivering the baby......

Anyway, I'm just looking for feedback and support as I really would love to do this but I'm honestly pretty scared (i.e., uninformed) still. I'm only 10 weeks so luckily I have a lot of time!!

[zoebird]

well, i'll speak on my DH's "role" in UC.

DH was not delivering the baby. I did. He was there as support, just like he would have been if a MW is there.

and doing it for financial reasons is fine. i'm sure it's not your top reason, just one of them.

[claddaghmom]

I think the financial reason gets a bad reputation because the value of birthing unassisted is considered lower than a MW HB or a hospital birth.

In other words, surely the only reason you'd tolerate an UC is b/c you're too poor for something better.

But then if you view birth as normal event that does not belong in the hospital, you begin to see the financial factor as yet another benefit.

It might be your primary benefit, and I don't think this is any reason to feel bad, especially seeing as how you have experienced other options and birth before.

As for your Dh being a bit worried, my Dh was similar in the 1st trimester. He was completely in agreement about the medical industry, the idea of birthing at home, etc, but he didn't have any concept of what UC meant. So even though he instinctually knew it must be good, he was wary and curious. We watched the BOBB and read Marilyn Moran's book "Husband/Wife Childbirth..." I also printed out the emergency handbook and had him do research on complications and interventions. I think that gave him some concrete ideas of what to expect and what to "do" during birth.

[olstep]

I am not a UCer. I love the idea! The only reason I do not consider doing it is that I do not think I can educate AND train myself to deal with complications.
I'd say that 99% of home birth do not need any intervention. My worry is that 1%. What if, will you or your husband be able to handle it? Or does this 1% not bother you at all?
Try to read as much as you can and once you feel informed and are no more scared, you should be able to make a grounded decision that is right for YOU.

[zoebird]

the 1-3% doesn't bother me.

there are common variances for which i can prepare, and i also believe that if i were to be in that 1-3% i would either be A. forewarned in some way, or B. that is just what my path is.

[basje]

The what's if's...

I think the what if's are really useful. Personally I think to responsible UC one needs to educate themselves about birth complications. Mainly how to recognize them and if it is something you feel you can treat yourself or should seek outside help for. I think it's best to have decided what you'd transfer for and when you'd home treat and be prepared to do just that. Most births will be flawless, and normal. Rarely you'll have a complication (you can of course reduce your risk of having a problem by taking preventive measures in your pregnant diet, using herbs and consuming your placenta).

I retained my placenta for a few hours after birth and had a major pp hemmorage. Really rare. I knew going into labor how long I was comfortable managing a retained placenta on my own I transphered to the hospital after two and a half hours. Some women on this board have retained placenta's for a day or two without concern. Much of having a UC is learning about birth, and what you feel comfortable with. I made a good decition for me, and had a huge hemorrage at hospital loosing three liters of blood in six minutes and landed on a venitlator. I died on the table during surgery. It would have still happened if I had a midwife. There are risks with everything. Hospital births, UC, transferring, midwife homebirths. It up to you to decide which risk you're most comfortable taking.

Do I think having a UC is a bad idea? No. I would make the same choice again even if I knew that was going to happen. I had a wonderful birth, a healthy daughter, and I went to the hospital when I had something weird (for my standards) happen that I wasn't comfortable handling myself. Having a UC meant taking on more personal responsibility for birth but I made informed, thoughtful choices. Choices which were the safest for my health and that of my daughter.

Educate yourself! Honestly, most complications are pretty clear when they occur. Hand pop's out first? That baby is likely coming out via a c-section. Shoulder dysplasia? You can just as easily do the McRoberts' maneuver yourself as with an OBgYN. Breech? Shouldn't be a problem to do it at home but be aware it's likely you'll have some tearing. Have some tearing? Be sure to get it sewn up within a few hours after birth before the swelling sets in.

[gillibean]

Originally Posted by stellamia

Should my main reason be something more spiritual? Or natural?

For a long time I sort of felt like I didn't really fit in with a lot of people who UC'd because my desire to UC didn't come from anything spiritual or natural or anything like that.

My first two were midwife-assisted home waterbirths. For my third we had moved to an area where midwives aren't an option (very remote community, closest midwife is a 5 hour train ride away). I spent much of the pregnancy figuring that I'd just have to make do at the hospital. I didn't mind the thought of going to the hospital so much (it's fairly small and I know a lot of the people who work there). What I was having trouble with was the idea of not having a birthing tub for pain relief/relaxation. When I discovered a birthing tub that was in our budget (La Bassine), all of a sudden a waterbirth became a possibility. However, since the hospital wouldn't allow me to take the tub there for labour, it meant choosing between having a birthing tub available or having a medical professional there. My choice to UC was simply a matter of wanting another waterbirth.

I did a lot of research and I rented a doppler. I had posters made up and posted in our living room about things to watch out for and under what circumstances we should go to the hospital/call an ambulance. Having done that preparation really helped me to relax. The more information I had, the more prepared and confident I felt. Also, one of the doctors that I saw for prenatal visits knew what I was planning and was super supportive. He gave me a vial of oxytocin because one of my main concerns was PPH. If I had had longer to prepare (I decided to UC at around 34 weeks) I would have realized that certain herbs (like Shepherd's Purse) can also help with PPH.

The one thing I missed about having a midwife is the emotional support that I got from them, especially during transition. Having a midwife, though, does not guarantee emotional support (and I'm pretty sure that I wouldn't have gotten that emotional support at the hospital). In the end, I'm very happy with my decision to UC, happy enough that I'm planning another one.