Crying for Grandma... is this normal?

[baglady]

The background:

DH and I live close to my in-laws. They are super helpful and adore DS. I stay home with DS and my MIL also stays home so she helps out quite a bit. She babysits for me maybe once a week or every other week while I run errands, etc. I also take DS to visit with her about once a week. When DS sees her car coming up the driveway, he gets very excited and he usually runs up to her when he sees her.


My question:

I've been sick for the last few days, so I asked MIL to look after DS today while I stayed in bed. MIL picked up DS in the morning and brought him back this afternoon when DH got home from work. Well, DS did not want to come to me or DH. When MIL left he cried at the front door while she drove away. He's done this before (the crying while she drives away), but he's never not been excited to see me.

This was the first time DH has seen this behavior. I told him it's probably pretty normal. DH says this behavior means we're "not doing a good job as parents." Now I'm getting a complex. Has anyone ever experienced this? My MIL was a headstart teacher before she had kids, and she's good at toddlers. Now I feel really inadequate.

[Bethla]

He may just sense that something is not quite right in the household (you being sick). It may be a sense of comfort being with MIL. I'm sure it has nothing to do with your parenting!

[TulsiLeaf]

Originally Posted by baglady

The background:

DH and I live close to my in-laws. They are super helpful and adore DS. I stay home with DS and my MIL also stays home so she helps out quite a bit. She babysits for me maybe once a week or every other week while I run errands, etc. I also take DS to visit with her about once a week. When DS sees her car coming up the driveway, he gets very excited and he usually runs up to her when he sees her.


My question:

I've been sick for the last few days, so I asked MIL to look after DS today while I stayed in bed. MIL picked up DS in the morning and brought him back this afternoon when DH got home from work. Well, DS did not want to come to me or DH. When MIL left he cried at the front door while she drove away. He's done this before (the crying while she drives away), but he's never not been excited to see me.

This was the first time DH has seen this behavior. I told him it's probably pretty normal. DH says this behavior means we're "not doing a good job as parents." Now I'm getting a complex. Has anyone ever experienced this? My MIL was a headstart teacher before she had kids, and she's good at toddlers. Now I feel really inadequate.

It's totally normal! Grandma is supposed to be a wonderful escape!
My daughter pines for my mother, constantly wants to call her and if given the chance would live over there. But she still loves me best.

[laughymama]

Originally Posted by TulsiLeaf

It's totally normal! Grandma is supposed to be a wonderful escape!
My daughter pines for my mother, constantly wants to call her and if given the chance would live over there. But she still loves me best.

This. Most definitely.

My son spends the night with my parents once a week and sees them probably 2-3 times a week.
99% of the time he could care less when we drop him off. He sometimes doesn't even wave bye. He's always THRILLED to see Grandma and Grandpa. When we leave, he's typically whiny and asks to go back while we're putting him in his seat.
During the week while DH is at work, DS often talks about Grandma and will go on for a good hour about Grandma and Grandpa's house.

I was the same way from the time I was very young.

[mamadebug]

I am sure you guys are doing a great job - and your child crying for grandma has nothing to do with that. I think you are lucky that your son has a wonderful grandma in his life that he feels so connected to. Hopefully, that bond will continue for a life time! Don't worry - it doesn't mean he loves you guys any less.

[silybum]

I want to reiterate what the mamas are saying here, and thank you for it. I'm in a very similar situation and have had to process similar things.

My folks live very close and watch DD almost every day for at least a little while. She LOVES them, asks for Oma and Buppa often, wants to call them etc. She used to do the crying thing, too, when my mom would drop her off, but has grown out of it. I used to feel totally inadequate and outshined in comparison, but now I am just so grateful that they have this great relationship.

Of course your LO loves to be with your awesome MIL: grandma only watches her sometimes and so probably gives her 100% attention 100% of the time. That's what grandparents are for.

[Shellie]

Very normal....2 of my 4 have done this. It used to really hurt my feelings! LOL

[mamadelbosque]

Right there with you My DS1 is 3 and loves his grandma, typically whining/crying when we leave her house/she leaves ours. But he still loves us too Grandma's just a super special lady

[baglady]

Thanks mamas. That's what I thought too. I just wanted to make sure.

After all, when DS goes to MIL's her whole world stops. She doesn't have to do the mundane everyday stuff I do (folding clothes, cooking, etc.) She just plays all day!