Would you talk about this in front of DC?

[VisionaryMom]

At DS' soccer match Saturday, the other team played pretty dirty, which I don't get because it's a non-competitive league. This is pretty out of the ordinary for the league - our third year and the first time we've seen it. One of the boys on the other team actually got hurt because he clipped the ankles of one of our players and got caught up in the ensuing tumble. Would you discuss it in front of and/or with your child?

I always get this feeling that we shouldn't talk about some personality-type things in front of them. (For example, DS has a friend whose family is very materialistic. When DS comments on how many toys they have, I try to be value-neutral in my responses though I think they're wrong.) At the same time, clearly these kids were doing some "bad" (for lack of a better word) things that not only are cheating but could've ended in injury.

[Evan&Anna's_Mom]

What a great opportunity to talk about the importance of sportsmanship, the joy of playing for the sports sake rather than winning, and the ability to keep "its only a game" in perspective. Of course I'd talk about it to my children. Otherwise, how do they learn that this isn't the right thing to do? I would probably start off by asking for your child's impressions of the game and the other team's behavior. If he didn't see or notice anything unusual, then I might let it go. But if he comments on it, then I would definitely use this as a tool to impart my own views on sportsmanship.

[momtoTnT]

I would, I'm pretty open with my kids and pretty much talk about everything in front of them (with a few exceptions of course). I'd also look at this as a good opportunity to demonstrate/explain why we do or don't do xyz.

[Alyantavid]

I would. And we have before. It's a great teaching moment.

[ollyoxenfree]

Yes, I'd take advantage of the learning opportunity too, to talk about sportsmanship and safe play.

[mamalisa]

Originally Posted by ollyoxenfree

Yes, I'd take advantage of the learning opportunity too, to talk about sportsmanship and safe play.

Absolutely. It was a great opportunity to talk about what not to do.

[LynnS6]

Yes! this is how you impart your values.

[Jessy1019]

Of course I would . . . it happened right in front of them! Playing so violently is NOT value-neutral (and I'm competitive by nature), and I wouldn't want my kids to think it was an acceptable way to act.

I'm not afraid to tell my kids that I think someone is "doing it wrong" or has a personality flaw, either . . . the worst that will happen is that my kid will repeat it, and frankly, I wouldn't say it if I didn't think it was true so I'm willing to deal with those consequences. Fortunately, it hasn't happened yet, but my older child especially knows how I feel about her various friends (positive and negative things) and about the behaviors of other people we encounter.

[TiredX2]

Originally Posted by ollyoxenfree

Yes, I'd take advantage of the learning opportunity too, to talk about sportsmanship and safe play.

I would be afraid that if I didn't talk about it my children would think I condoned the behavior.

This last season, DD played against an overly aggressive basketball team. Not only did her coach (and the parents) talk to the kids about it, but when the most violent of the kids showed up to play on *another* team the coach said she would NOT allow any of her kids to play if that girl was playing.

[GuildJenn]

I'd definitely talk about it.

I'm pretty radical that way but I truly believe that kids have a very strong sense about what you're NOT talking about - but they make up their own reasons for why you're not talking about it, which can lead to communication or understanding issues down the road.

[betsyj]

I would absolutely discuss it. If your kids are going to continue to participate in these kinds of leagues they will run into this kind of behavior again and again.

My BIL coached his daughter's rec league soccer team and the stories he had!! Keep in mind these games entailed a cluster of adorable little kids all grouped around a soccer ball at one end of the field and clearly no real grasp of the rules. The parents would be yelling at them that they wouldn't win if they didn't try harder. It was pretty painful and I ended up not going to anymore games.

One year BIL came in to find out who would be on his team and found he had two girls assigned to him with the same last name(they were twins and to make it easier on the parents they asked that the girls always be assigned to the same team). Turns out these twins were quite good and the other coaches and some parents accused the league and BIL of cheating!!

Hopefully if we parents address it with our kids and keep talking about what is appropriate behavior and what good sportsmanship is, these kinds of leagues might be fun again.

[Marsupialmom]

I would talk about it with my children. I would also talk about what should and should not be repeated. I would have them active members of the conversation.