Has anyone else read Playful Parenting and practiced some of the ideas there in conjunction with UP? I'm about half-way through the book, but it reinforces something I've already learned with my 3 yo - if I can get him to laugh then I can head off a power struggle and its win-win for both of us (and a heck of a lot more fun for me than getting frustrated).
For instance in the toy throwing issue - if he were tossing around something like wooden blocks I would not let him continue. Doing something that could result in a broken window or a broken skull is non-negotiable. But instead of getting stern or mad or just lecturing and over-explaining I might do something like talk in a funny voice, chase after him, grab the blocks and say "Oh no, the toy fairy turned your blocks into bean bags! They're flying away so they don't break anything." I then fly around the house like an airplane and swoop them onto the top shelf of the closet.
Or if he doesn't want to put on his shoes I might start marching them towards the door "Oh look, your shoes are leaving without you!" or I might try to put them on my own feet using a really exaggerated body language.
I don't want to say this works all of the time, or that it would work for other kids, and frankly being imperfect I don't always have the energy to "play" - but I've found that if I can get a giggle then we always avoid a tantrum.
For instance in the toy throwing issue - if he were tossing around something like wooden blocks I would not let him continue. Doing something that could result in a broken window or a broken skull is non-negotiable. But instead of getting stern or mad or just lecturing and over-explaining I might do something like talk in a funny voice, chase after him, grab the blocks and say "Oh no, the toy fairy turned your blocks into bean bags! They're flying away so they don't break anything." I then fly around the house like an airplane and swoop them onto the top shelf of the closet.
Or if he doesn't want to put on his shoes I might start marching them towards the door "Oh look, your shoes are leaving without you!" or I might try to put them on my own feet using a really exaggerated body language.
I don't want to say this works all of the time, or that it would work for other kids, and frankly being imperfect I don't always have the energy to "play" - but I've found that if I can get a giggle then we always avoid a tantrum.
