What about a special toy to give to baby when you need to be away?

[Vortexing]

I have a nearly 9 mth old and I WOH (but basically part time). She hasn't gotten bad about crying when I leave (in fact today she even crawled off my lap to go greet our nanny!!), but my DD1 was HORRIBLE with this so I was thinking about trying something preemptively just in case.

I was thinking maybe starting to leave a stuffed animal or something with her when I go to work, that I only give to her when I go to work. I'd tell the nanny to give it to her if she's crying while I'm gone. Then maybe sit down with her and it when I get home.

I'm torn though - do you think that this would begin to be something that when she sees me pick up the stuffed animal she'd start to cry b/c she knows that I'll be leaving, OR do you think it'd be something she could hold on to and know that I'll be coming back after my absence.

Whaddya think? Which way might it go?

[Comtessa]

IMO, if your child is cared for in your own house, it probably won't make too much difference. She's already surrounded by a familiar environment, her own toys, etc. If she's going to have separation anxiety, I don't think a particular toy is likely to help.

I think you might be better off leaving her with something that smells like you. A few moms I know leave their kids with the t-shirt they slept in the night before (or something like that). The comforting smell of mom (especially if you nurse, because it'll smell like milk, too) is often really helpful for separation anxiety. However, be prepared for that t-shirt to become your child's favorite thing - at least a few small children I know drag tattered rags of "mama shirts" around everywhere with them.

If the baby is at her own house, you might just suggest that your nanny lay the baby down in your bed if she's upset at your leaving - or pull a pillow off your bed to hug - something like that. I would occasionally do this when I was a nanny and the kids had separation anxiety. Same concept as the t-shirt.