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~~~Quiverfull 2010 !!! ~~~ - Page 2

post #21 of 132
Hello there. I'm A and have been married to my DH for 8.5 years. We have three children: a 6 year old girl, a 3 year old boy, and another baby boy who is 7 months old.

DH and I have always wanted a big family simply because we've always just felt something "right" about it and cannot imagine saying, "____ more kids and we'll be done". For us, it simply feels wrong. While I was pregnant with #3, I began reading up on the quiverfull lifestyle and shared what I read with DH. It made perfect sense to both of us- to allow God to plan your family size. The more I read (Above Rubies, No Greater Joy, etc.), the more of a confirmation I feel. The same goes for DH. However, it does freak us out a bit! We look at the Duggars (who are an extreme case, I believe) and we're like, "Wow, I really would prefer that not be us". I guess it's all a matter of selfishness, though. I mean, if we trust God with the rest of the details of our lives, why aren't we trusting him in family building too? It's just so HARD to let go of the need to control this area. We are both very willing to obey God, but we're still hesitant to give up the reigns 100%. Does that make sense?

I am EBF my baby and AF has yet to return. DH and I have only once used our usual method of child spacing (withdrawal) since he was born, and afterward we both felt very guilty and haven't done it since. So I guess this is it... whenever it happens, it happens. And no matter when it does, we both agree that we'll be overjoyed.
post #22 of 132
So I'm curious, how do you mama's deal with negative stereotypes of QF?

I've seen some pretty nasty generalizations and judgements made, usually in response to someone's description of a family or church that was cultic as well as QF.

But justified condemnation of abuse or cultism almost always seems to morph very quickly into "those QF people" and use terms like "liars", "hypocrites", "stupid", etc. It frustrates me, but I've left a few places where I was trying to point out that these are unwarrented generalizations, because it really isn't my job to change the minds of everyone who holds a false belief (in this case the false belief being that all QF people are sick, cultic, twisted, stupid, or hypocrites )
post #23 of 132
We haven't really gotten a lot of criticism... I mean, I also don't talk about it a ton ya know? If people ask we tell them we don't use birth control and are hapy with whatever God gives us but beyond a few stupid comments people don't say much.
post #24 of 132
The issue has never really come up irl conversation. I mean we get the typical 'don't you know' blah, blah, blah, 'go get fixed' comments but not specifically about QF beliefs. I would venture to guess that beyond the Duggars, most of our acquaintances don't have any idea about the QF 'movement'.

We have only gotten one remark from someone that I felt was really hurtful and I was not there to hear it, so I am not sure entirely what was said, but I have to remind myself that while we disagree with the issue, I believe this person was truly trying to be helpful and not just making snarky remarks.

Frankly, if these people are content with being gossipy and making generalizations without any proof, I don't think you need to discuss it with them at all, especially if they are unbelievers and hostile to the gospel. (IOW they really don't care what the scriptures say about the issue.)

If they are believers you can engage in a discussion on the biblical reasons for your beliefs but refrain from being dragged into gossip and hearsay. You're right that it is not our job to convict them. We can speak the truth of the scriptures to them, but are also told to reject a divisive man after two times. It may be that you can agree to disagree and remain peaceful on the issue or that they may be open to learning more. But if they continue in their aggressiveness just decline to speak about it anymore.

The scriptures talking about winning over others with our actions. If they are actually paying attention to the walk you are walking then hopefully they will see that you and your family are not those things that they are accusing you or others of being.
post #25 of 132
Quote:
The scriptures talking about winning over others with our actions. If they are actually paying attention to the walk you are walking then hopefully they will see that you and your family are not those things that they are accusing you or others of being.
Amen. God's actually been convicting me about this--about the arrogance I had in hoping to correct every crank on the internet. It would be a full-time, eternal job, and I have other things to do.

I think it upset me because eventually these thigns trickle into the culture and into the ears of loved ones. My brother came home asking me "Are you part of that Quiverfull cult?". Some friend of his had being going on about "those QF people", having read the book and apparently some online gossip.

And I live with my brother (co-housing with family, fun ) and he still asked that. We are *nothing* like the cultic, abusive people that are profiled in the book and gossip sites (and we're not even much like the Duggar's as much as I love them ) and he sees that every day, but he was still worried.
post #26 of 132
On a positive note...my middle sister just got engaged and my kids are already asking her about when they'll get some cousins out of the deal.

She's open to a bunch.
post #27 of 132
Hi all! I am Jaclyn, mother of 3 littles - Aubrey, 3 1/2, Oliver 18 months, and Laylah who we are adopting from foster care who is 12 months (she has been in our home since birth). We have been married for almost 6 years.
We had been married for 1 year, using birth control pills, when I ran across an article about how the pill was an abortifacient. I was stunned, and after much prayer and research, my hubby and I decided to trust in God's timing for our family. 3 months later, I was pregnant with my first. After she was born, we still held to our conviction. My period came back when she was 14 months old (we were breastfeeding) and we conceived again 3 months later. This is also about the time when we felt called to adopt from the foster care system, and became "approved" as an adoptive family. After our second was born, we were still trusting in the Lord's timing for our family, and then when he was 6 months old, we got a call that a baby was born that day and they wanted to place her in our family. So, now we had a 6 month old and a newborn. And, shockingly to us, my period came back at the same time! I was still breastfeeding, and we had assumed that we had 12 or 14 months of no fertility like we had after our first was born. This is when we both turned our back on our conviction and used "common sense" that we needed to avoid pregnancy for now. We felt very overwhelmed with our 2 babies, 6 months apart. I have been charting ever since (about a year), and we are using NFP. About a month ago though, we both felt strongly convicted that we were going against God's plan. My hubby and I have been reading through Nancy Campbells Be Fruitful and Multiply book. So, as of last night, we are trusting in God for our family planning again. So, here I am Nervous, but excited about the thoughts of another little one in our family.
post #28 of 132
I'm asking for help today. We've been married 7.5 years and have 4 kids. We are adopting another baby in 6 weeks. We began with the "however many God wants for us" philosophy, but over the years, I have developed health issues. I had kidney function problems toward the end of my 4th pregnancy, which thankfully went back to normal. I am currently on medication that doesn' allow me to breastfeed or have more babies as long as I take it. I feel guilty for "dropping out", for not breastfeeding, and for the whole illness. I don't feel like a good mommy, and my friends definetely don't understand our parenting choices. I struggle with the fact that I am on bc. My husband has abandoned the idea, because it obviously wouldn't be healthy for me to have more babies. I think I have too, but I just can't come to apeace about it all.
post #29 of 132
Thread Starter 
All of that! Fruitfull mama, you are very wise, what a well written post. I totally agree with everything!

I second the alternative care via herbs, diet, excersize, therapies, it sounds as though if you CAN NOT take this while breastfeeding and CAN NOT get pregnant on it either that it is a very strong and possible toxic medication.

And of course LOT's of prayer on the issue! I'l lbe thinking of you hun!
post #30 of 132

Any of you quiverfull mamas have twins?

Hi Ladies, Glad you started a new thread! Anyhow, I just found out I'm having number three!
I'll be due end of December

My question is this:
Did any of you have twins? I had implantation spotting twice two days apart and some women in other places where saying they had that and it turned out to be two eggs implanting (they can implant at different times up to a few days). Did any of you have this experience or have heard about it? It would be great because we have actually been praying for twins for months so I was amazed when it happened. I had implant. spotting with both my girls, but this one like I said happened twice!

Thanks for replies!
post #31 of 132
My name is Nikki. Dh and I have just had our 6th anniversary, and we have 3 children - ds (age 3.5), dd (age 23 months), dd (age 6 months).

When we first met we were both determined that neither of us wanted children. Ever.

Then when we'd been married for a year we started talking about ttc. After ds was born we were unsure about what to do regarding bc, and kind of felt that we weren't even comfortable with NFP anymore. So we decided to ditch the birth control altogether though we weren't absolutely sure of the scriptures regarding children, but just felt as though it was the right thing to do. A while later we watched a message on dvd by a man named Jim Sammons...he spoke about how he and his wife had 2 children and then she had her tubes tied. He spoke about how they were convicted about this and started seeing all the empty places around their table which could have been filled with children. In their early 40s I believe, they decided that she would have the tubal reversed, and they did conceive again and had a daughter.

Anyway, that message just confirmed to us everything we'd been thinking, and since then we have had our two daughters...it is sometimes a struggle in the sense of constantly feeling like we're going against the current (which we are), but we're really grateful for our wonderful blessings...
post #32 of 132
Oh, and hi Maggie. I've seen you around on another forum...
post #33 of 132
Hi Nikki!
post #34 of 132
Oops, forgot to sub so doing it now...
post #35 of 132
So, I left an intro a few weeks ago about how my hubby and I had decided to leave it up to God. Well, we found out last week that we are expecting baby number 4! Little did we know when we decided to "leave it up to Him" that we had probably already conceived We are very excited! And now I am exhausted and nauseous and taking care of 3 little ones - prayers please!
post #36 of 132
Hi, my name is Jen. I have a 10 yo DS, a 9 yo DD, and a 9 month old DD. My DH and I have been married 13 years. We have been together since we were 15/16. When we were starry-eyed teens we talked about having 6 kids, some of them adopted. After we got married, it dwindled to 4. When I was pregnant with our first DD, I developed thyroid problems and was pretty sick at the beginning. I was also pretty miserable at the end. By the time she was born, we were both very willing to say we were "done". I started giving away my maternity clothes before her birth!

Flash-forward 8 years, and I was very unhappy with our method of BC. We'd not used the pill since we were newlywed, after learning more about it. Through the influence of Bible study and some Godly friends, I had a strong desire to just leave it up to God. I really did not desire more children, I was still happy with just the two we had. However, I felt that if we said we trusted God and desired His will for our life and family, we ought to actually do that! I brought this to my husband, and at first he did not agree. God must have been working on his heart, though, because about a week later he told me he agreed with me! About 2 months later we happily found out we were expecting. I was blessed to have a pretty easy pregnancy this time around.

Baby #3 has been breastfed since birth (a first for me!), and I haven't seen any signs of AF, but I've been wanting to get a test... I've seen a few changes that are making me wonder. I still don't desire more - I'd be perfectly happy with these 3. But, even though I don't feel ready yet, I know I'd be happy if there were 2 lines, too. And, DH is too cute - for a guy who was absolutely, positively DONE, he sure does mention "working on the next one" a lot!
post #37 of 132
Happy&blessed, Congratulations!

And to all the new Moms on here, welcome!

This is a great place to hang out.
post #38 of 132
I had an urge to check out the QF thread tonight because I hadn't gotten any notifications in a looooooooong time and I did a search and realized it was because there was a new thread! So I'm here now

Alison, married to J, and we have two boys and another on the way. Our oldest will be 4 in August, the younger is 15 months, and I'm due in September with the next one.

We've been QF our whole relationship. It's not been an easy road, I've had more miscarriages than I have had term births. We are grateful for each baby we get to have though, no matter how long they stay.

I'm glad to be back on here
post #39 of 132
Hi all! I hope everyone is doing well I have a question for you ladies... we have a 25 month old and an 11 month old, and are due with our 3rd in October, so my oldest will be 2.5 and my second will be 16 months. We have a 3 bedroom house, and each boy has his own room right now but we are going to move them in the same room so the baby can sleep in the little room next to us (we don't co sleep, just room share for the first few months). Anyway... we have 2 twin beds in what will be the boys room, as well as a full size mattress we can put on the floor if for some reason DS2 doesn't like the bed? I guess I am just looking for tips on how to make the transition as smooth as possible!!
post #40 of 132
I just realized this was here!
Im Heather, Ive been married for 4 years and have a 3 year old and a 18 month old. We live in Japan courtesy of the United States Marine Corps. I stopped taking birth control right before we were married because it felt really wrong to me. It was like saying "Hey, I want your blessings Heavenly Father but only on my timeline". After a miscarriage at 13 weeks I got pregnant with my first daughter. She was suppose to be a twin but I lost her twin at 8 weeks. I was overwhelmed at the idea of taking care of a newborn, getting out of the military and moving to a foreign country so I gave into the doctor pushing me into taking birth control. I took it for 3 months and it got packed in the wrong box and shipped to our long term storage in the states. I never took birth control again. Found out I was pregnant a week before my DD's birthday and lost the baby on her birthday. Got pregnant again a few weeks later and now I have my trouble making 2nd DD. After her birth I refused birth control. That was almost 19 months ago and I wonder when/if Heavenly Father has another one planned for me anytime soon. I would love to have another little baby to hold.
Thats me in a nutshell. My girls keep me busy and I love every minute of it (well, almost!). I love Japan but I miss my family back in the states. We are moving back somewhere in the states soon but we have no idea when or where. Im starting to do "preschool" with my oldest in September (if I get everything ready). Oh and I love to read.
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