Anyone adopt from Korea?

[KSLaura]

We've contacted a couple of adoption agencies about adopting from Korea. I lived in South Korea for a year and spent some time at a Korean orphanage. We'd really like to add a little boy to our family. Anyone have any advice? Words of encouragement? The agency we contacted said it would be about a 16 month wait from application to babe in arms. This seems really quick to me. Our youngest is 15 months, and I'd like to have about a 3 year age gap, but DH will 'age out' of the program soon (he is 40).

[RedOakMomma]

Look around at different agencies in your state. Our very close friends just started their process and their timeline is less than a year. After they have their homestudy into Korea, the wait to referral is estimated to be 4-6 months, then travel 3-4 months after that. Right now, depending on the agency and orphanage, there are a lot of boys in Korea needing homes. Girls are adopted more often in domestic adoption and are preferrred in international adoption, so for most agencies there are still waiting lists for girls while the boys wait for families.

We adopted from Korea two years ago this summer (so did queencarr, when she shows up on the board), and I think one other family, too, though they don't post as often. We loved the experience, love knowing so much about dd's family and culture and history, and of course we LOVE dd !

Let us know if we can help with anything. As far as encouragement, GO FOR IT!

[KSLaura]

I think we only have one agency in CO that is accepting families. Our friends went through the same agency and waited 4 years to adopt their daughter from China. I think that had more to do with China than the agency, though.

I notice your youngest 2 are pretty close in age. Did you have any issues bonding with the youngest with another little one at home? How did you decide on the Korea program?

I'm excited to get started...but the planner in me says we should wait a few more months. DH has already contacted the agency two or three times this week. How long does the homestudy process take?

Were you able to meet with the foster parents in Korea? I beleive kids in intertational adoptions stay in foster homes, right? Oh, sorry for all the questions. Thanks for your response though. I'd love to hear from others, too!

[queencarr]

Hi! My two youngest boys are adopted from Korea, and 16m-2y seems pretty reasonable to me. Our agency is closed to new applications in CO (I just checked) but I think that is the timeframe I am hearing in general, depending on the size of the agency. There are only 4 agencies in Korea, and the structure of the program is a little bit different that other international adoptions in that the US agency that you work with acts as in international branch, so to speak, for the Korean agency. There are specific agencies in the US that work with specific agencies in Korea. So in some ways, the process is a bit more streamlined than other international programs, for example no dossier is required.

As to your questions, we were able to meet with the Foster Moms in Korea, and got a lot of incredible information from them that was not in the paperwork, especially preferences and just day to day info. I was able to meet with my middle son's FM again when I went to pick up our youngest, and it was incredible and emotional. We were able to pick up our children several days before we left the country, and it was incredible all the people we met who blessed our children and talked with them and loved on them. If you have the option to travel, please, please do it. You will not regret it!

As to how we chose Korea, my husband was stationed there with the Air Force for a year. My oldest, then only, child and I visited for a couple of weeks. It was amazing how everyone treated him, and we really loved the way people in general treated the children. We felt like it was a culture we could embrace and share with a child, because many of the values lines up well with our own. We have personal experiences to share as well. We also have friends that live there, so we have a long term connection.

My advice would be to collect information now, even if you don't officially start the process. The homestudy can little be as 6 weeks if you work really hard and fast, and your SW does, too. More realistic IME is 3-4m. Korean law says you cannot adopt after one partner in the marriage turns 45 (without an age waiver which is often only granted in SN or a sibling call), so most US agencies require the application to be turned in by 42 to allow plenty of wiggle room. Since you are coming closer to that age limit, I would consider putting in the application soon, even if you take your time with your part of the paperwork. Also, there is the perpetual rumor that the Korea program is closing, this time in 2012, so that is something to keep in the back of your mind.

Any questions I can answer, please ask! I love to talk about my kids

[tiffani]

I don't have personal experience with Korean adoption, aside from watching ROM and queencarr's experiences , but adoption almost always takes longer than you think it will, so I'd say go ahead and get started right away! you can always stall a few months in a few points (for example, if your homestudy goes really quickly, you could hold onto it for a bit before requesting a referral) but there are almost always delays. If it goes really quickly, the worst case scenario is kids who are close in age, and that has a lot of wonderful benefits as well.

best of luck! keep us updated!

[RedOakMomma]

[QUOTE=KSLaura;15243457]I think we only have one agency in CO that is accepting families. Our friends went through the same agency and waited 4 years to adopt their daughter from China. I think that had more to do with China than the agency, though.

There's a website out there that lists all the agencies in each state...I'll try to link that tomorrow. Our friends are using AIAA--not sure if they're in CO or not. China wait times definitely had to do with the country, not the agency.

I notice your youngest 2 are pretty close in age. Did you have any issues bonding with the youngest with another little one at home? How did you decide on the Korea program?

ds is 18 months older than dd, and it's turned out to be great spacing. They're starting to be very good friends. By the time dd came home (at almost 10 months old), ds was 28 months old...a very natural time to get a sibling. It was hard on him having a mobile toddler, rather than a baby, as a sibling I think...she was into his space and stuff immediately. But as time has gone on, he appreciates that she's more on his level than most other kids are. It's more like having a playgroup friend living with you than having a sibling that's 2 or 3 years younger than you. Kinda sweet.

It didn't affect bonding, the age. What affected bonding was the miserable sleep situation (we think it was triggered by grief of leaving her foster family and everything familiar) that unfolded when she came home. I did all the reading and knew that it was a possibility for something like that to happen, but I guess I didn't really think it would happen to US, yk? Most of our other friends that have adopted had pretty smooth transitions, and ours felt more like a trainwreck.

As for bonding, I think it did make a difference that she was adopted. My dh and I had a hard time falling in love...it's taken time, but we've noticed it happening every step along the way. It's pretty common with adoption (based on how many friends/MDC/other acquaintances have mentioned it), but it's not talked about much. Good to be aware of. It just takes time , and is worth the long haul.

We picked Korea because we were a good match for the program, we'd always been drawn to adopting from China or Korea (Korea was our first choice, but for some reason we got sidetracked and pursued China for a little while), and we were really impressed with the health care and foster care provided in Korea. Our little girl was so well-loved and well taken care of while she was in Seoul. It made it so much easier to wait for her, knowing that she was living with a family who loved her as their own. We also liked that we had the chance to know something of her birth family, and to pursue a more open relationship if we wanted it. (Which reminds me, IF you want to exchange letters and information with your child's birth parents and have an "open" international adoption, TELL YOUR SOCIAL WORKER and have them put that in the homestudy. We didn't know this until it's too late, but in Korea they often match the families who want some openness with the children who have birth parents that have also expressed interest in communication. It's one of my biggest regrets that we didn't put that in our homestudy.)

I'm excited to get started...but the planner in me says we should wait a few more months. DH has already contacted the agency two or three times this week. How long does the homestudy process take?

1-3 months, depending on how fast you push yourself and your agency.


Have to go (it's late), but feel free to ask anything! It's fun to share stories![/I]

[tiffani]

I just wanted to add that while that is the target for homestudy timelines, sometimes life will get in the way, or you might find it hard to schedule meetings with your social worker, or, or, or, and you might end up with a homestudy that takes longer than you expect. You will also feel like "this is so important, of course we'll do everything as quickly as possible!" but you never know when you might have to have your fingerprints done 3 times, or have your car break down, or, or, or.... there are people who get through adoptions really quickly, but they are the exception to the rule. the rule stating that adopting takes far longer than you think it will. I remember asking my social worker what the fastest adoption she had ever participated in was, and she answered 6 months. I smugly thought "we'll beat that, we'll have our little girl home in 5 months tops!" that was almost 10 months ago, and we have had delays, tragedies, and hiccups in every area imaginable. the Korean program is much smoother than our "program" but there were a lot of things that just took a long time, like criminal background checks, etc.

start now!

[KSLaura]

Thanks for the replies!

Just a quick update: we sent our 'pre-application' to the agency. They require prospective parents to meet with them before starting the process. I hope to hear back from them soon.

Oh, and for those who have traveled/plan to travel to adopt a child, did you bring your other children with you?

[RedOakMomma]

I think many (most?) other families DO try to take their kids when they go, though...it's an experience not to be missed.

[queencarr]

Dh, my oldest son, and I all travelled to pick up our middle child. It was so much fun, and a favorite experience of ds1's. For my 3rd child, I travelled with a friend, and dh stayed with the other 2 boys. It was pretty a much a $ decision, and I really wish we could have all gone. OTOH, we got to have a grown up trip, and did a lot more power shopping and siteseeing.

I think that my middle child's transition was helped tremendously by having ds1 there. They bonded 1st, then he bonded with us. They still have an incredible bond almost 5 years later.

My youngest had a very hard transition and grieving process. It was very hard on him to just start getting to know me, and then have to adjust to dh and ds1 and ds2, and all of the sudden share me. He was also a little over a year old (vs 5 1/2m) and has a different temperament. I don't know that having everyone there would have helped him, but it certainly didn't help him doing it this way.

[KSLaura]

We met with an adoption agency on Friday. They gave us a formal packet to fill out. Lots of paperwork, but it doesn't look too bad.

They said the timeline is about 3-4 months for a homestudy, about 6 months for a referal, and then 6-12 months to get the child. The wait time for a girl is significantly longer (we want a boy though). They said right now the Korean government isn't issuing visas as fast, so the children that are currently beig adopted are between 12 and 18 months old.

[queencarr]

Those timelines sound about right to me, although the travel timeline is a bit long. But I have been hearing about the slower process for EP (emigration permit--the Korean exit paperwork. similar to a 1x visa), especially for some of the smaller agencies, which has upped the time. Something else to be aware of, the Ministry that issues EP has established a "quota" on the number of EP allowed per year. They are divided up between the 4 Korean agencies, and often babies that are waiting on travel towards the end of the year have to wait a few weeks to months extra for the new quota year to start and any agency backlog to settle. This seems, anecdotally anyway, to catch the smaller agencies earlier and more often. ROM, did you hear about much of this?

I am so excited for you! And, there are several of us that will be happy to eat chocolate to move your process along. (If you poke into previous threads while ROM and I were waiting, you will see our silly rituals to get through the stress moments--all involved chocolate and a few involved passport dancing )

[RedOakMomma]

That travel timeline surprises me, too. When we brought our daughter home in June 2008, the travel time was 3-4 months. 4-5 months seems to be the average over several years of watching. The only time I've seen it go much longer (other than a case here and there) is when the quota is reached for an agency and all travel screeches to a halt. That does happen, though now most agencies are better at giving referrals, and try not to get so many families "caught in the quota."

6-12 months seems absolutely crazy, to be honest. 6, maybe. But 8 through 12? I've never seen it. Admittedly, I haven't been watching the boards for the last year or so, but I can't imagine things would spin that out of control so quickly.

KSLaura, have you joined the Holt International Korea board? It seems to be the clearing house for information (for all the agencies, not just Holt). I would check out that board, maybe even post, and ask about those timelines with the agency/orphanage you're considering. The women where will give you the straight story.

[queencarr]

I think the longest wait for travel I have seen on Holt is 8-9 months. But there were EP/quota issues, and maybe some other paperwork issues. Maybe the agency is being extra cautious, Holt and the other agencies have slowed to closer to 5-7m as the norm rather than the outside edge from what I have seen. Connor was just under 4m travel time in 2005, Isaac was 7m in 2007-8, but since we had to do a new homestudy (adding about 6w IIR) had USCIS issues, and waited for some medical info, the extra time is accounted for on our side. Thanks for confirming that the quoted travel time sounded long ROM, I thought I was just outside the loop

KSLaura, I second the Holt Board, and would suggest you ask for clarification from the agency on travel time. If I had to wait a year after referral, I think I would have gone stark raving mad I was pretty close waiting for Isaac, and by the 6m mark, well...

[KSLaura]

Yeah, I was really surprised be the wait time. She said it had to do with permits/quotas or something (that's kinda like a VISA, right?) The agency is one of only 3 that does Korean adoptions in our state. They only do China and Korea. Holt only does special needs in Colorado. We are open to some special needs (nothing severe though). The lady at the agency we went to specializes in China adoptions. The lady that focuses on Korea was on vacation. I'm hoping that maybe her timeline is off a little bit. I think originally when they emailed us, they had said it was more like 5-7 months after getting a referal.

[KSLaura]

Hmmm.. It seems like adoptions going through "eastern" are taking a lot longer than those going through HOLT or SWS. I wonder why??

[gallerygirl]

We are in the process of adopting from Korea currently- Our agency works with SWS in Korea, and our total process from start to travel was estimated to take 9-12 months. SWS seems to be receiving more baby referrals than the other Korean agencies, thus a shorter wait time- that is the impression I was given by our agency. Good luck- we are so excited about our little guy-to-be!