Did you really *relax* during labor?

[porcelina]

I have been reading about advice/techniques to relax and let go of tension during labor so that your body can do it's work. During my first birth, it was my automatic/involuntary response to clench and squeeze my husbands hand during each contraction, to counteract the pain. DS was OP, it was excruciating pain. Is it really possible to have your body completely relaxed during (not between) contractions? Even with back labor/OP presentation?

[BetsyS]

My first labor was 36 hours long. I would describe the first 12 hours as easy, the second 6 hours as "getting harder", and the last 18 hours as hell.

During the first 18 hours, I was able to easily relax. Those hours from 12-18 were more difficult, but I was able to completely relax between contractions.

From hours 18-36, I was so tense during a contraction (because I really felt like I was dying) that it became more and more impossible to relax completely between contractions. Sure, I relaxed some, but coming from the level of tension during the contraction, there just wasn't enough time to relax fully.

[dachshundqueen]

I forced myself to. I was in pain, but I prayed the Hail Mary, remembered that open relaxed body = dilation and I wanted that to happen as fast as possible. It was about 24 hours with my second kid (at home).

Liz

[kitkat5505]

During my last labor I was able to stay relaxed right up until time to push, though it took a lot of mental effort not to tense up. I think a lot of it had to do with the amazing soft tub my midwife had, that thing was the best. I couldn't relax during the 2+ hrs of pushing though and it was awful.

[transylvania_mom]

I was able to relax for the most part of my last labor and it went a lot faster (5h from the first contraction until she was born). With ds, I had bad back labor and didn't really know what to expect so I was tense and screaming pretty much the whole time (12+ hours). Forcing myself to relax made a huge difference for me.

[GoBecGo]

I was able to physically relax throughout my labour (13.5 hours prodomal, 86mins active) - i was drooling during contractions for most of it i was so relaxed. My MIND wasn't particularly relaxed, i had a lot of anxieties about how much i wanted to push (i was told i wasn't in labour and not to push until DD's head crowned) and about how if i did i might lacerate my cervix/kill my baby, but i just didn't let it affect tensions in my body. I practised beforehand, like running a systems check i would think "thighs? relaxed, calves? relaxed, belly? relaxed" and that helped. I didn't find relaxing my body hard at all, relaxing my THOUGHTS however would have been impossible.

[StrawberryFields]

I was really worked up/panicky during labor and found that I was only really able to relax when I was in the bath or in the tub. Then I was calm enough to breathe and talk to the baby in my head. When I got to the point where I was no longer able to relax my body during contractions, both times it was time to get out of the tub and push the baby out.

It took a lot of focus and turning myself inward to be able to relax while the contractions were happening.

[Mosaic]

I was able to relax completely throughout my long birthing, thanks to hypnobabies. But I had hours of back labor, so laying down so that I could go totally limp and relaxed just did NOT work for me. Instead, I spent pretty much the entire birthing standing, on hands & knees, sitting on the birthing ball or leaning over it, etc., so I still needed some muscle tension to hold myself up. But my abdomen, face, hands, etc. were totally relaxed.

I'll also be very honest: I wonder if I was maybe TOO relaxed. At first I was just going with the flow, relaxing with every wave, and it felt fine and great even though I wasn't laying in bed limp as a wet towel like I had practiced. But when I went several hours without progressing, I kicked it up a notch, intentionally let some of the tension in, ordered my body to get this thing going, and I made better progress. So, I'm not sure what to think of all that, but I wanted to be 'fess up that maybe there is such a thing as *too* relaxed, especially if you need those birthing muscles to work a bit to turn that baby into the right position.

FWIW, my birthing was about 36 hours, and it took me 12 hours to go from 6 to 10 cm (who said transition was fast!?!?) and then another 2 to push, but the relaxation techniques worked the whole time.

[Baby_Cakes]

At one point, I had to. DD was OP as well, and for the first, hmm, 8 hrs of active labor I was definitely clenching DHs hands during ctx. I needed to. The pain was incredible. But towards the end, my mw asked me to lay on my side, and blow through ctx b/c I was not ready to push, even though I was feeling a bit pushy. I didn't know what to do w/the pain. I had to really go inside my head and find strength from somewhere.
So I stared at the ceiling fan, and MADE myself blow through many, many ctx. I remember keeping my voice low, and actually saying, "Lowwwwwwww" to keep my throat open, help my body relax, and not tense up, clench my fists, etc. I did this for about 2 hrs. It was intense, but looking back, that was my favorite part of DD's labor. I felt so in control and like I was managing things.
So I think it's possible. You just have to find that place in your mind and go there.

[mntnmom]

I think it takes very active concentration to relax during contractions. Try meditation, I found prenatal yoga to be great. It helps you learn to breathe through the muscular discomfort of certain positions. Labor is a lot harder, but meditation and yoga made all the difference for me!!

[hunterofkyle]

I completely relaxed during contractions. The single most helpful bit of information for me was Ina May's "sphincter theory" - or whatever she labeled it. When a contraction would start, I would let my jaw hang loose, relax my throat, relax my anus and perineum, and visually imagine my cervix also relaxing. I can HONESTLY say I did not have pain with contractions during my most recent labor - but was also blessed to have this labor without back pain. My previous labors all included so much back pain that I have no clue if this "technique" would work.

I'm expecting again so my 2 pre-labor preps involve good positioning of baby to prevent back labor and complete relaxation practice during BH cx.

GOOD LUCK!

I totally agree that it is mentally exhausting to force the relaxation at a time when one would be naturally inclined to flinch against the sensation.

[LaurenAnanas]

I did... It was the only way I could get through contractions!

I practiced relaxing so much during pregnancy (did Bradley classes), and had done so much yoga throughout my life, that I found it easy to do. I did have to remind myself to relax at the beginning of labor, when the whole thing was new, but as it went on it became a reflex to "melt" during contractions.

[Kelly1101]

Not at all. But I did lamaze. So it wasn't so much "relaxing" as it was focusing the energy elsewhere, to my breath. There is no way I could relax when in labor, I'm too high-strung by nature.

Lamaze worked fantastic for me, getting me unmedicated through a pitocin labor with a posterior baby, for what it's worth.

[*MamaJen*]

I was able to relax. I definitely went off into labor-land and found this kind of fuzzy nearly pain free place. I was falling asleep between contractions, and during the contractions I would still say I was relaxed, except for right at the peal of transition, when it did hurt pretty good. But if I stayed relaxed, it hurt a lot less. Being at home in a comfortable environment was huge, and the birth tub was a godsend.

[2sweetboysmom]

Originally Posted by hunterofkyle

I completely relaxed during contractions. The single most helpful bit of information for me was Ina May's "sphincter theory" - or whatever she labeled it. When a contraction would start, I would let my jaw hang loose, relax my throat, relax my anus and perineum, and visually imagine my cervix also relaxing. SNIP...
I totally agree that it is mentally exhausting to force the relaxation at a time when one would be naturally inclined to flinch against the sensation.

ITA.
(3rd birth, whish I'd tried this sooner)
For me I made a point of relaxing and opening as much as possible during the contraction. But I was having a VERY FAST labor and pain did creap in at times, so I also allowed myself to make a "mmmmmmmm" sound very low through a closed but soft/not tense mouth. Between contractions I would make a horse "pbpbpbpbpbpbpb" sound with my lips until it was easy and sounded right and loose (also ala InaMay Gaskin) In transition I would have to really work to get my mouth to loosen up enough to make the horse sound before the next ctx started.
So yes I really relaxed in labor, but it was a conscious effort which I really had to work at at times. Relaxed, yes...relaxing, no.
For me all the barnyard noises worked well for copeing and ease of delivery. I had less than 2.5 hours labor (from 2cm-delivery with arom and mid level pitocin, and no birth partner or dula) My son was born in one single pushing contraction with no tearing into the ungloved hands of a very suprised dr they grabed from the hall.

[Asiago]

Another vote for Sphincter Law here! It's a funny name for something that makes total sense. Ina May mentions it in her book. Basically if you clench your jaw, mouth, neck the tension is also felt in other places. Whereas if you relax and moan with your mouth open and lips parted, then your 'nether regions' will also relax and open.

It worked very well for me! I was 7 cm when I got to the hospital and 10 an hour later.

My husband said it sounded like a haunted house at home as I labored (a lot of spooky loud moaning). He wished he had recorded it as Halloween was a few days later and he could have played it

[St. Margaret]

I remember clutching the side of the bed and thinking I should be relaxing better, but it all worked out! I did zone out completely through transition, sort of in a nap/trance. I think I did the moaning/relaxing my jaw, but my hands clenched and I bet that didn't help. I do feel that this time I will try to just dive right in to it and really relax, but I will NOT criticize myself if I don't, b/c that first birth was perfect anyway.

[Veritaserum]

I did, using hypnosis. When I was upright and mobile, I focused on relaxing my belly in particular. I liked leaning forward for my last birth in particular (posterior baby). My Hypnobabies techniques were easy to use wherever I was most comfortable. It was great!

[lifeguard]

Originally Posted by hunterofkyle

I completely relaxed during contractions. The single most helpful bit of information for me was Ina May's "sphincter theory" - or whatever she labeled it. When a contraction would start, I would let my jaw hang loose, relax my throat, relax my anus and perineum, and visually imagine my cervix also relaxing.

This was the only thing I really remembered while labouring. I don't think it really helped me to "relax" as there was nothing relaxing about labour ime but it did help me to keep my mouth relaxed.

I also had the ob check my dilation at one point & when he said I was only 4cm I was so disappointed I let out a low, moaning noooooo. He was still checking me at this point & he immediately said "ok, now you're at 6!".

[CherryBomb]

Dd2 was OP and asynclitic and I could not relax at all. All I could do was clench my whole body and try not to scream the top of my lungs. I don't think that means that you *can't* relax during an OP labor, but I was absolutely unprepared for the level of pain I experienced and really just freaked out.

Dd3 though was perfectly positioned and labor was nice and easy. I was able to stay very loose and relaxed during my contractions. It wasn't until about 9cm that it really got painful. I didn't use a specific technique, I just focused on staying loose and letting my body go with the contraction. When I could feel it coming on I'd lean or hold onto something sturdy (like a counter or the bar in the shower) and kind of let my body go limp (and, remembering Ina May, I kept my throat opened and moaned/vocalized!)