do you all REALLY have it together

[sewcool]

is your house clean are you kids happy and do you play with them often, do you always have ideas of new things to do and never lose your temper, do you homeschool and love everysecond your home with your child, does co sleeping with multipul kids really make you happy do you get everything done and still ahve time to relax do you knit and sew everything on your list.....


for some reason i have this view of mothers espically on here that seem to do all this and love every second of it- clear this up for me because it just bashes me daily i feel like i dont do enough ever

[mntnmom]

oh good god no! My house is cluttered. My kids are generally happy, but fight more than I like. I loose my temper and struggle with gentle parenting. My older kids only sleep with me when they need the extra closeness, and the lost sleep makes me cranky. We homeschool, but there are times I worry that we're not doing enough. I want to learn to knit, but have never managed because tiny hands mess up my yarn. I love to sew, but when I sew I don't clean.
I love being a SAHM, but I'm no domestic goddess. I do my best, and think I am getting better. But some days it is a real struggle.

[mamabearsoblessed]

today, I feel the farthest thing from 'having it all together'.


my moments of 'feeling all together' are fleeting, but on a whole I can mostly say I think I do ok. I've been a mother for almost 10 years. I've stopped expecting too much from myself and others, if I allow myself, my expectations can be really unfair and frankly impossible. Plus I'm just not wired the way that fuels the organization and perfection that comes with those expectations. I'm flighty, forgetful, goofy... not 'all put together' and in my 35 years I never have been.
As long as my children are safe and typically happy~ my 2.5 yr old is often miserable~ I'm more than ok, but often have to remind myself of that.

[Juvysen]

no. I'm just bumbling along. My house is a disaster, frequently my kids annoy me, and Dh does the grocery shopping on the way home from work which generally puts dinner precariously close to bedtime...

Gawd, I could go on and on...

But I'm glad i'm able to stay home with them, even though our life isn't perfect.

[maddymama]

Oh heck no! I am completely not put together. I clean like a madwoman the hour before my monthly group playdate descends upon my house. I yell, I cry. I cope. I do, however, use the crockpot a ton to get meals on the table.

[mamaofthree]

my house is tiddy, but i do not dust or do windows and there are cobwebs in the corners. lol i do homeschool and i do love to cook, but i tell you somedays... man, i wanna run screaming into the streets! lol i work one night a week and i think my kids act especially trying on those days so it is easy for me to go. heehee! i would say i have more good days then rough ones, but i have alot of rough ones. and i do not play with them very much. i try and do things together, like read or garden... but not always. and i do have a herd of kids. lol 5 of them.

h

[sewcool]

i feel a little better

heres my situation

my house is never as clean as i know my husband would like (he grew up in a spotless house) I get frustrated often and would rather knit on a bench then play with my kids on the playground. I think about sewing and knitting more then groceries and cooking however dinner is made about 5 nights of the week by me we usually go out once a week and are at the inlaws another. im not homeschooling because i dont think i can handle it and because we cant afford it. I like naps and yes my kids watch tv. I feel like there are mom on here with the perfect life the life i wish i could love to live so it make me feel better to hear the reality!

[laughymama]

Our home is cluttered, at best. I probably get around to actual scrubbing..once a month? Other than that, it's lived in.

My son watches television. I am frequently irritated by something or another that he's doing. You're doing better than I am. I am a horrible cook and probably get a real meal cooked 3-4 times a week. I do pasta a lot because sometimes it's all I have time or patience to do. (I hate cooking as well so that doesn't help.)

I wish so badly I could seriously consider homeschooling but frankly, I'm too lazy and too unorganized and I lack the self discipline.

Some days we're just clinging onto whatever we can and sometimes that means watching a movie to distract DS. Honestly, I just recently after getting pregnant, started a very loose 'routine'.

And hey while I'm at it I'll go ahead and confess that my almost 2 year old has a bed time of midnight.

I can only imagine what a frazzled mess I'll be when the new baby gets here.
So: Me=Not put together.

[mbhf]

My house is generally clean-ish, like I would not be embarrassed to answer the door and have someone come into my living room. I would sometimes be embarrassed if they stepped into the playroom and took a peak in the kitchen. I might be embarrassed if they walked down the hall to the bathroom. I would usually be embarrassed if the door to my bedroom was open while they walked down the hall. I would always be embarrassed if they walked into the master bath. My husband also feels the house should be cleaner than it is. I do my best to make sure it is up to his standards by the time he gets home and I don't (generally) let it slide enough that it would bother him. He doesn't want his children living in a dirty house and I respect that.

My kids are generally happy, but they fuss and fight and sometimes my three year old dumps an entire bottle of salad dressing on the kitchen floor and my 17 month old immediately dives into it and I lose it and yell at him, and then I yell at my 5 and 6yos when they come to see what the problem is. Not one of my finer moments, and it doesn't happen much, but it certainly does happen. I apologize sincerely and we move on. It happens.

I play with my kids when the mood strikes me, but they generally play on their own or with each other. I might chase the baby around the living room for a few minutes or play a 5 minute game of tag at the playground, but it's far from all day every day.

I love sleeping with my kids. All four of them. But it does get a little cramped sometimes so I ask the two oldest to sleep on the twin sized mattress beside my bed. Sometimes when my dh is home, though, he takes the boys (the three oldest) out to "camp out" in the living room and I get the whole king sized bed to myself and the baby for about half the night. It's nice, though I'm always happy when my 3yo scampers in around 2am.

I don't knit or sew anymore, I just don't have the time and it became a source of frustration for me instead of something fun to do. I would get irritated if one of my kids needed me when I was right in the middle of something, I got upset if I didn't get the amount of time I was expecting to get to sew. Maybe when the kids are older I'll start sewing again but right now I'm just not in the right place.

I am very happy to be home with my kids, all of the time. Sometimes I wish in the moment that the baby would stop grabbing at my legs while I'm trying to get a load of laundry from the dryer to the couch to fold it. Sometimes in the moment I wish that my two oldest would quit arguing about one particular lego and realize that there are at least a dozen pieces just like it. But I can't think of anything else I would rather be doing.

I've been a mom for a while now, I guess, and I feel like I have things pretty "together" but it is (and will be for a while if not forever) a work in progress. I feel more together now than I did 3 years ago, and I never felt less together than when my first was a baby.

[Juvysen]

My kids watch waaaay too much tv... like all day, but I'm trying to cut that back. I've had a productive day if I threw in a load of laundry (uh, and kept the kids fed, dry, usually clothed though w/toddlers, that's no guarantee...) extra productive if I folded it! Bonus points if I put it away before dh gets home...

[Fay]

My house is a wreck. I order take-out for dinner once a week. But I play with my kids a lot. Snuggling is a high priority. We watch TV sometimes, too.

[Reebekah]

my house is a disorganized mess, and i only clean as much as i need to at this point in my life. i have so many ideas about things i want to do, but unfortunately i rarely get to do any of them. i lose my temper more than i care to admit. my kids watch tv several mornings a week...but i do try to keep in educational (pbs). i homeschool, and although it's going well academically, i'm not being as proactive or as patient as i thought i'd be. my kids sleep in my room bedside me (but not with me) until they are 1, and then i move them to their own bedroom. i dont knit or sew (although i'd love to learn some day)...and my only "me" time is when the kids are in bed...but by that time i'm too tired to do anything but play around online. basically, i'm not nearly as good at this as i thought i'd be...but i do try constantly to improve and i have learned that i cant be perfect. i LOVE being home with my kids, but it's not easy.

[mama2annabelle]

Wow! I love this thread and all the honesty! I would love to be perfect and have it all together, but I am so very far from that. It's nice to hear other mamas feeling the same way.
I really don't believe there is anyone who truly has it all together. I think lots of us have ideals that we're working toward, but to reach them all perfectly at the same time is not very realistic.

[Shiloh]

I've got it all together...in my van.
I have my deoderant, hair brush and makeup in there..
I feel accomplished as I am now able to brush my teeth in the bathroom
And I took out the pillow that I was using to get cat naps in before school....
I am on a big huge decluttering rampage.
I have realised this stuff is taking too much time to take care of.
My livingroom has my ex's furniture in it..he moved out three years ago.
but its a good day as the dishes are done, the garbage is out and I am convinced nothing is growing in my fridge!

I can admit that lately I have been to Mcdonalds twice in the same day

OH THE SHAME.
(morning for coffee only and then again for drive through after picking kids and having 6:30 lessons... and not the energy to make a meal to take with us...)

[claddaghmom]

DD really is almost always happy but I take little credit. I've cared for enough kids to know even the bestest mom in the whole world can't change a temperament.

My house is clean about once a week. I clean the whole house one day a week. By the next day, it's trashed. I am absolutely amazed at how trashed a house can be with a 16 month old. Toys, food, random stuff...everywhere!

I do love co-sleeping and would probably stay up all night if we didn't have a family bed. I've had a couple terse moments but they were due to feeling bad/guilty b/c DD was in pain from sickness or teething.

I hate knitting and sewing. But I do magically find enough time to finish my school on time each week. Not sure how that happens but it does. Phew!

Do I have enough time to relax? I say yes, but at the same time, I think my lifestyle would really harm someone who needed "true" alone time or down time. I'm just not that type of person so it works for me.


I don't know about multiple kids yet. I'm preggers right now and happy with the idea of another baby. I'm scared to put it in words in case it sounds arrogant or naive...but I remember everyone telling me I was going "face reality" with having my 1st child...and I don't know what their reality is but I am very happy to be a mama and have a baby. I hope the same is true the second time around. Everyone keeps warning me of my soon to be dire situation...hopefully I will just be busier...and happier.

This image you have...of mamas being perfect and having it all together...maybe you are mistaking their joy and comfort in mothering for a peaceful/perfect life. I don't have a perfect life. I forgot to pay a bill. I yelled at DH b/c he left the cabinet doors open again. (sorry DH!) My back is killing me, I could stand to exercise more, I never scheduled Easter family photos, I need a shower...lol need I go on...

[Thursday Girl]

If i am excelling in one area, another area is being ingored. when i am sewing i am not cleaning, when i am cleaning all the time I am not paying enough attention to the kids, when i get reading the house gets a mess again. I am not together and I have found myself wondering the very same thing as you. IN the end I have decided that my house is clean enough(most of the time...clean for my inner circle of friends, but noone else), I cook good food sometimes, junky easy stuff sometimes, and easy healthy stuff occasionally too; my kids go to school, even the 4 year old and i am glad for it, i would be much too impatient to teach them, i would just end up yelling at them. I am horribly not ashamed or sad to be glad my 4 year old is at school.

I can not for the life of me figure out how to balance everything so i just binge on one thing and then go to another. People say this is bad for my kids. I don't care as I think they arepretty damn happy.

I do wish i could keep my house cleaner overall, i do wish i played more games with my kids, I am looking forward to the baby being a bit older, i feel like maybe it will be easier then (but maybe that's just what I tell myself)

My husband blessedly does not (hardly) ever say anything about the house. he doesn't mind...except those few times it got REALLY BAD, and anyone would have and shoudl have minded. But he helped me pick it up.

[starlein26]

Hahaha. I love this thread.

is your house clean are you kids happy and do you play with them often, do you always have ideas of new things to do and never lose your temper, do you homeschool and love everysecond your home with your child, does co sleeping with multipul kids really make you happy do you get everything done and still ahve time to relax do you knit and sew everything on your list.....

My house is tidy...not very clean. I vacuum daily though (which isn't even too much) and I clean our 1 tiny bathroom often. I don't dust much, or mop floors often.

I play with my 1 year old (important at her age), and I do activities (art, reading, discussions) with my 3 and 6 year olds...but I don't "play" with my older 2. They play together.

I definitely lose my temper. It's fairly impossible not to when one is dealing with the.most.unreasonable little people ever.

I homeschool my oldest and so far so good...he's reading! That's a big accomplishment!

I don't love every second but I know that this is a valuable, wonderful gift to them.

Co-sleeping with multiple kids has its pros and cons.... It's mostly good though.

I don't have a list of things that needs to get done so that helps...no time pressure there.

[Jaxinator]

I think it depends on how you view "have it together".
My house isn't spotless, but it's not filthy. There's junk lying around, but not dirty dishes everywhere/mold/overflowing garbage, that sort of thing. (Although my new goal is to do at least one hour of housework a day.)
I try to always have a real dinner, but sometimes it's whatever we can scrounge up (for instance, tonight is Kraft mac and cheese.)
My kid watches too much tv, but he's happy, healthy and sweet.

IMO, as long as everyone is generally happy and healthy, then yes, I have it together.

People can portray themselves however they want, but we never *really* know how together they are.

[cappuccinosmom]

Not when it's put like that, no.



My kids are generally happy, and having them and being with them makes me happy. I keep a tidy home for my sanity.

But there are days when I want to become a hermit.

I would say overall, yes I am very happy. I wouldn't want to be doing anything else. But that doesn't mean I have everything together. By no means.

My kids watch too much TV. I'm lacking in the arts and crafts department. I get annoyed by them. I get overwhelmed.

It's just life, yk?

[scottishmommy]

The only room in my apartment that is consistently clean is my bathroom. The rest of the place has random things laying around. My dd is in a phase where she takes things from drawers, closets, and cupboards and leaves the around the house. For instance, on my living room floor is a a hair pick, a piece of junk mail, a sweatshirt, a cushion, and tons of toys. It doesn't help that she wont nap anywhere but in my arms, so I don't have a lot of time to pick up. I dust and vacuum everyday, but it takes a long time. I do cook every night, but we're on a tight budget so eating out is not an option. I don't get mad at my dd very often, but I do get really annoyed with my pets. I have no intention of homeschooling. I have nothing against it, but it's not for me. And frankly, if my dh complained that it wasn't clean enough, well let's just say it wouldn't be a pretty sight.