AP sleep failure. WAS: Do you want to go in your crib? - Page 2

[Kiwiontheloose]

Originally Posted by justKate

Feeling like a total AP failure right now. DD is crying in her crib (against our bed). She's being crying forever...45 min. in my arms laying down, then 45 min in Huz's arms, now 5 min in her crib. If I stayed with her any longer I was going to throw her out of the window. I'm going back up in a minute, I just needed a break.

We tried to cut a 2nd nap over the weekend and it hasn't worked so well...by 5 she was walking around falling down crying, running head first in to walls, screaming when I would pick her up to comfort her (b/c she's afraid that will make her fall asleep). I just don't know what to do. We've r/o medical issues... ugh. I really feel like a failure. If you've made it this far, thanks. I just need to get it out.

kate

Oh poor you, that sounds so tough. FWIW, you're not a failure. Leaving a kid to cry for a few minutes while you calm down is much safer than flipping out at them because you're about to go over the edge.

Is she only crying because you're trying to get her to sleep, if you just leave her to play what does she do?

I ask because my 10mth old often does this - I know she's tired, and I'm more than happy to help her fall asleep, but as soon as I lie her down she just sits back up and starts playing/crawling/rubbing eyes etc etc.
I've started leaving the room when she does this - saying "when you're ready to lie down and go to sleep I'll come back." she usually plays for a minute or 2 by herself then starts grizzling. The second she starts grizzling I go back in (NOTE - Not letting her cry alone at any point - in case anyone gets on my back for this) and say "are you ready to lie down and go to sleep?" and then lie her down, nurse, pat bum, whatever it takes. if she sits up I lie her back down and and try again. if she keeps siting up I do the whole thing again - leave room - and come back when she grizzles. (when I leave the room I just stand by the door).
It usually takes about 2 times of leaving and coming back then she falls asleep.
but anyway, this might not work for you. I also agree with what other posters said about making bedtime later.

I hope you find a solution (hugs)

OH - also - have you tried Tart Cherry Juice? (google it) - it really helped our one calm down at bedtime - I give her a wee bit about an hour before bed.

[LadyCatherine185]

I too have a sleep fighter, and lots of threads floating around this forum about my DS. I know how you feel Mama.

A few things that have made a big difference for us--

*getting him WORN out during the day. Lots of playtime, outside time, etc
*making sure the bedroom is DARK and QUIET
*I nurse DS and then DH takes over, holds him/pats him on the bed until asleep. At first DS resisted and cried, but now he goes RIGHT TO SLEEP for DH. With me, he plays around and takes MUCH longer to go to sleep.
*Dropping to one longer nap. He did start going to bed earlier when we did this (some evenings around 6 pm) around 10 months old, but he stopped fighting bedtime so much.
*Waiting until he is EXHAUSTED before trying to put him to sleep

I HIGHLY recommend reading Sleepless In America.
hope you find something that works better for you. It may just take her a long time to settle down to go to sleep.

[frontstreetmama]

despite it being common practice, my 2nd oldest COULD NOT have a bath in the evening -- it meant hours before she settled!!! she would also FIGHT sleep, until I left her one night to her own devices and she went to sleep BY HERSELF... my oldest always slept with me so this was totally surprising, but she LIKED being alone at bedtime... so we moved bath time to the morning and at night we would have some sort of 'exercise' (dancing around, those songs with actions -- teddy bear, teddy bear, etc.) after dinner that would wind down into calmer stretches then snuggle story time, then I would leave her in her crib with very low lighting on and a few soft toys, books and I would get some time to do stuff and she would fall asleep, no crying, within 1/2 an hour... of course, when she hit 4 she started NEEDING me to lay down with her and it would take me about an hour of snuggling for her to get to sleep (that's after a half-hour of songs and stories!) and it WORE ME OUT... she's 8 now and is JUST STARTING to go to bed on her own again... go figure!!! kids need different schedules at different times for different reasons... sometimes it's hard to see the why or what and you just have to keep doing trial and error until something clicks or until the phase passes...

[journeymom]

Originally Posted by LadyCatherine185

*I nurse DS and then DH takes over, holds him/pats him on the bed until asleep. At first DS resisted and cried, but now he goes RIGHT TO SLEEP for DH. With me, he plays around and takes MUCH longer to go to sleep.

Yes, dh and I had success doing this with both our kids. Only dh would hold dc and pace, singing and humming. With our second child dh added a favorite jazz cd to the nighttime pacing. Both our kids used pacifiers, as well. I think the paci helped them drop off to sleep, a little bit. BTW, dh's back was SORE! But this worked so much better than me just trying to nurse an older baby to sleep.

Originally Posted by frontstreetmama

despite it being common practice, my 2nd oldest COULD NOT have a bath in the evening -- it meant hours before she settled!!!

Same with our oldest. Baths just energized her, they didn't relax her at all, so we cut that out of the routine.

[umami_mommy]

have you tried a weighted blanket? or other sensory techniques? your LO could have sensory issues that make it very hard for her to relax and switch off in the night time. (search for "peace filled blankets" on ebay for my fav)

baths, bedtime rituals and other "normal" get kids to sleep techniques did not work for us. you can try melatonin too when you are at your wits end and ready to lose it. we use it with our sensory child, but use small amounts with the 3 yo when she is a hot mess at night.