repeating questions?

[p1gg1e]

My 5yo DD asks questions and then when I answer then she responds and then asks me again and again.

How do you handle this? Its driving me insane

Example:
DD" mom can I have a snack?"
Me" Sure"
DD" Can I have a snack?!"
Me" yes bring it here and I'll help you."
DD " but I really want a snack"
Me " and I said yes you can have one."
DD" What kind of snack"
Me " pick one out , what ever you want to eat."
DD" Can I have a snack?"

And around and around we go.

Its not just about snacks this is about putting toys away , getting shoes on , getting dressed and odd things...mixed with out of place "why" questions.

[Just1More]

Well...after you rule out a hearing issue (like does she have a cold right now?), and any other medical thing going on...

I say, "Mama only says things ONE time. If you miss it, I'm sorry." And I absolutely refuse to repeat myself. It's really, really hard to do, but I only ever have to for a day or two. Suddenly, my dd can hear much better.

If she is distracted, you can encourage her to come to you, looking at you, to ask you a question, and be sure she is looking at you and engaged before you answer.

And, I often rely on the age-old, "What did I say?"

[p1gg1e]

Originally Posted by Just1More

Well...after you rule out a hearing issue (like does she have a cold right now?), and any other medical thing going on...

I say, "Mama only says things ONE time. If you miss it, I'm sorry." And I absolutely refuse to repeat myself. It's really, really hard to do, but I only ever have to for a day or two. Suddenly, my dd can hear much better.

If she is distracted, you can encourage her to come to you, looking at you, to ask you a question, and be sure she is looking at you and engaged before you answer.

And, I often rely on the age-old, "What did I say?"

No hearing issues that we have found and no colds. She hears me ( ive asked her to repeat what I just told her". Then she folows with a "but + Question".

I'll try ignoring her more after making the rules clear. She just asked me 6 times why we did not go with DH to band practice after I answered her several times... I get really gumpy about 5pm LOL

[One_Girl]

My dd was doing this a lot so I started telling her to think back to what I had just said. She almost always remembered what I said and was able to go with that. Sometimes she truly didn't remember because she wasn't paying attention and I would tell her to pay attention and repeat myself one time. It was a very very annoying phase.

[averlee]

Here is my humorous yet monstrous and completely ineffective reaction: I answer the question about a dozen times, with rising annoyance. Then I shout, If you ask me one more time I'm gonna scream! Then I scream. Then my kid starts crying and runs off afraid of meannie mommie. Yeah, I probably need to work on that....

[no5no5]

I sometimes find that I get less annoyed repeating myself if I sing my answers. Sometimes I just respond with totally random answers. E.g., "Yes, you may have a sock," or, "Yes, I would love a snack" or, "Could you please let the giraffe out of the bathroom?" I don't think there's any need to discipline or get angry when a simple joke or two can keep the peace.

[sunnygir1]

I agree with the pp. When I am in my best form, I am able to make a joke or change the subject. My dd is 3, and so still fairly distractable, so with the snack example, I might ask her what we are having, or if she'll share it with me, or make a joke about what kind of snack she had chosen, or something. At 5 years old, I think I would usually ignore her after the first or second time...I think that's what I did with my niece when she was doing that.

[HappilyEvrAfter]

Lol. Yeah. Depends on the situation and what mood I'm in.

If I'm feeling playful then I answer the second and subsequent questions with nonsense, he gets all "what?" on me.

If I'm not feeling playful or it's something serious then I simply ask him to repeat what I just said, he'll repeat and I'll say, "that's the answer to your question."

The whole "what did I just say. repeat it back to me." actually seems to help.

Sometimes (in reference to a snack) he'll ask several times because he thinks I'll end up going to get it for him. I ask, "Are you asking again because you want me to go get it for you?" Mostly I get yes....and that's a whole other situation.

If it's a matter of asking again in hopes of getting a different answer then I just tell him that he's begging and that's not going to change the answer he doesn't like. At that point I quite engaging.

[greenbeanmama]

Yeah, we have a repeat-questioner too. Like others, I've gone with repeating a few times, and asking him to tell me what I just said. And the silliness route too. Sometimes I ask him, "Are you asking questions just to ask questions?", and he usually grins and says yes. Sometimes I think it's an indication that he needs my full attention and I'm not giving it to him.

But, I also hear the strange questions again and again. What if I get trapped in a light bulb? If we gave the dog to pirates, would they eat him? Will celery wear a dress to dance to music? What if our roof melted off the house? MY question is how does he come up with those?!?

[Bug-a-Boo's Mama]

My head explodes. This is my life ALL THE TIME. Asking once isn't good enough. You must ask fourteen more times. Can I drink my milk? Yes. I am going to drink my milk. Can I drink my milk? Yes. Okay, I am going to drink my milk. I am drinking my milk, is that okay?

I have started saying I already answered you, you need to listen when you ask a question. But the above still usually follows.

[Flower of Bliss]

My 3 year old does this to. She's generally asking questions just to get me to talk. You'd think I don't talk to her, but I do, tons, and we sing together all.day.long. Still, if I'm quiet for a few minutes she starts in on questions. We have a few running jokes... I tell her daddy's on the moon (as she's well aware that he's at work). Other where is ... nonsense questions get the same answer. Or I say "I lost it/her/etc"

I also tell her, "I need you to stop asking questions just to get me to talk." Sometimes I'll follow up by starting a conversation or singing a song. If I need to be quiet (read I'm having a hard time and the baby is crying and I'm trying to accomplish 10 things quickly before I can go nurse the baby, or before we can go somewhere or whatever) then I tell her, "Mommy needs to be quiet right now" I try to then give her something to do in a different room from me.

And sometimes I lose it and yell at her to stop...

[leigh09]

my 4 yo also does this. thank you all for relieving me that this is normal and he is not just trying to drive me UP THE WALL!!!!

if i'm in a good mood and playful, i will look in his ears and ask them if they are working, if he turned his ears on this morning, or something to this effect.

however, if i'm in a similar position as the previous mom and trying to accomplish to settle the toddler, nurse the baby, and answer the same question repeatedly my patience is slightly thinner.

[mamaflutter]

My dd dose this too but she is really big on why. so after I anwser why and she continues with why I look her right in the eye and say I don't know why? this usually works like a charm. she gives me the whatever mom look and goes on about her way. my mother in law taught me that one!

[spirit4ever]

Originally Posted by averlee

Here is my humorous yet monstrous and completely ineffective reaction: I answer the question about a dozen times, with rising annoyance. Then I shout, If you ask me one more time I'm gonna scream! Then I scream. Then my kid starts crying and runs off afraid of meannie mommie. Yeah, I probably need to work on that....

oh thank you!!!!! I just got a great chuckle!!! this is exactly what i do!!!!!!

[sunnygir1]

Originally Posted by mamaflutter

My dd dose this too but she is really big on why. so after I anwser why and she continues with why I look her right in the eye and say I don't know why? this usually works like a charm. she gives me the whatever mom look and goes on about her way. my mother in law taught me that one!

I don't know how old your dd is, but my daycare provide was just telling me that at dd's age (3) the "why" often is used when they don't have the language ability to ask the question they want. For example they might mean that they don't understand, or they might want to ask "how?" or for some other information. This makes sense as to why repeating the same answer doesn't satisfy them; they might be looking for a different explanation or more information.

[broodymama]

My 5.5 year old DS will do this, ask the same question two or three times in a row. Then, once I've answered it a few times, my 3 year old (who was sitting right next to him!) will ask the exact same question.

[p1gg1e]

thank you all for your replies. Ive tried all the solutions but just knowing others are being tortured makes me feel better

I have though been ignoring her more and asking her questions back...its driving her nuts