HELP!!! My 2.5 year old needs motion to go to sleep UPDATE: Eliminating naps seems to have fixed... - Page 2

[Thalia]

Update

We tried no nap yesterday and it went pretty well. She was almost falling asleep at dinner, and I was worried she was going to fall asleep right at the table with food in her mouth and choke! I should have just interrupted her and taken her upstairs, but every time I tried to get her away from the table she cried pitifully and said she wanted to eat more . She got a little bit of a second wind as we got her ready for bed with a very shortened bedtime routine, and was restless as she nursed. So I tried the car again, and this time it took about 30 minutes before she fell asleep. She was definitely fighting it. She woke up twice but went right back down with a little nursing.

I did learn that the African Party CD makes her much sleepier in the car than the World Dreamland CD (go figure! ), and that holding her lovey can actually be a distraction in the car, because she started to play with him last night. These were both nuggets of info I was really grateful to have. That plus the obvious, that I really need to be ready to catch her when she first gets sleepy on the days when she doesn't do a nap, or she'll be overtired and fight sleep.

I think I am going to let her sleep in today and try no nap again, and see how it goes. I'm also taking her in to the doctor for a check up, and I should be able to ask our family doc about going to no naps, and how much sleep she might really need. He's very AP and a good guy, so I'm interested to have his input.

Thanks again to anyone who has read this far!

[Jend1002]

Originally Posted by Thalia

The way this urge to research and experiment backfires sometimes is that there's no way to do a "controlled experiment" with DD's sleep.

You sound like me! I am a scientist so I am always saying that my sleeping experimental design is flawed - too many variables! I am really just posting this so you can laugh at me - for the first month or so of my son's life (when I was on leave) - I tried to keep track of everything like wake times and feedings and plot it out so that I could detect a pattern. And I do mean literally make graphs....Um, yeah, this is a human...duh! It didn't quite work out like that!

[Thalia]

Jend1002-I never made it as far as making graphs: that is brilliant!

Okay, I think I may be a convert to no naps, at least for now. I was home with DD today and we did no nap. She didn't get cranky at all until right before dinner) about 1.5 hours before bedtime, and it wasn't a full meltdown, just two times when she got upset over something being changed that normally might not bother her.

We then did a bath, stories, and nursing, with lights out at 7:30 PM. She was still restless, so we did do a ride in the car, and she was out in 8 minutes at 8:08 PM! If she wakes up at the same time tomorrow that she did today, she'll be consistently getting 12 to 12.5 hours of sleep per night. I think this might work for us.

I also posted about this on my Facebook page, and there were at least seven people who said their little one dropped the last nap at this age, or even younger. So I feel in good company. I also talked to at least two people who said their kids went through a phase of doing a "quiet time" instead of a napping, but went back to napping around 3. Interesting!

Feeling so much better with two good bedtimes under my belt!

[alfabetsoup]

Another vote for no naps. DD1 dropped them at 2yrs 2months. If she had one, bedtime was a nightmare, wouldn't go to sleep until 10 or later! You go through a week of hell, we were putting her to bed at 6:30 for awhile. What time does your DD eat dinner? I find if my 2 are sitting down by 5pm at the latest (heck sometimes we do 4:30 if it's been that kind of day) we have a much easier evening and bedtime.

I have also been wondering as I've read through this thread, maybe she likes the car because it means you leave her alone? It sounds like you're doing a lot of work to get her to sleep, bouncing, rocking, nursing etc--maybe she likes the car because she's still and it's dark and nobody is hassling her? I would be really wary of making the car into a bedtime routine especially as you have a new baby on the way. Here's what I would do, aiming to have her down by 7 (on a day with no nap):

5pm dinner
play until 6 or so
6ish sippy cup of warm milk while being read to or watching bedtime tv (you say you have no more milk and I find a hot drink at bedtime really helps kids relax)
6:30 bath, teeth, pjs, books
7pm in bed, lights out

The restlessness might be her way of relaxing and getting herself ready to sleep. My two are terrible wigglers! Why not, instead of lying down with her, try sitting in a chair or on the floor? If she gets up or starts crying, say, Mommy's here, time for sleeping now, and give her a pat or something, then go back to quiet sitting. But don't switch methods! I think you've got to teach her how to fall asleep in a bed at a reasonable time, and taking her out in the car is going to work against you in the long run.

ETA: Blackout blinds. Tinfoil the windows if you have to. Nothing makes a kid more restless than knowing the day is STILL HAPPENING without her.

[Thalia]

alfabet soup, pushing her dinner back has definitely helped. I will need to coordinate with her caregivers, though, because I work out of the home and am not usually home until 5:30 or 6:00 PM.

When have tried leaving her alone to settle down, she just stays up, either in her room or in ours. Even in the car, she often wants to stay connected right up until she falls asleep. She'll ask me questions, even though my answer is always, "shh, it's time for sleeping now, sweetie". So I think there is something about containment or motion that she needs right now. It may be that when my milk comes back in, that'll provide the calming she needs, I don't know. As an adult, I often find I need to read for about 5-15 minutes to calm myself down enough to sleep, so when she's older she may do that. DH needs TONS of sleep, and I need the normal amount or a little less, so I suspect she may be taking after me in the sleep department.

She woke up cheerful at 8:00 AM this morning. Recently she'd been sleeping in until 8 but was so grumpy when I had to wake her up. We are going to try a full week of this and see how it goes!

[alfabetsoup]

Originally Posted by Thalia

She'll ask me questions, even though my answer is always, "shh, it's time for sleeping now, sweetie".

LOL Thalia, they all do this! Even the really good sleepers--if you're chatting with mommy, you don't have to go to sleep! And why would you want to go to sleep when you FINALLY have mommy's total attention?!?!?

[Thalia]

DD nursed to sleep tonight! No car ride!!! at 7:45 PM!!!

Okay, I think I am a true believer now.

This is our third day of no naps. We did lights out at 7:30 PM after a nice bedtime routine of bath, PJ's and stories. She nursed to sleep for the first time in I don't know how long, in just 15 minutes! I almost don't know what to do with myself!!

I'm sure we'll continue to have some restless nights, but I'm encouraged by the fact that she hasn't had lots of outdoor play this week (it's been cold and rainy here). Once summer revs up, and God willing, if everything continues to work with no naps, she'll be getting lots of time outdoors and even more active play. I'm hoping and praying this might mean we might be able to give up the car for good!

Of course I know things will change again before I know it, especially when the new baby comes, but man, I can't tell you how excited I am that she fell asleep without the car tonight.

Thanks again for all the suggestions and support. They ALL really helped!!!

[Thalia]

A week after the start of no naps and things still seem to be going well. I've had to use the car once or twice, but she's out so quickly that it's not as much of an issue. She's also fallen asleep nursing and even reading books, which she has never done before.

With all the light in the mornings, she's starting to wake at 7:00 AM on a regular basis, so I'm trying to push her bedtime back even earlier to 7:00 PM so she gets that full 12 hours in. I'm also going to put foil on our east window to make the room darker in the mornings.

Editing to add:
Last night DD told me "I'm going to have trouble falling asleep" as we got ready for bed. I reassured her that she was tired and that we should go ahead and read stories. We got settled into bed, but she was sitting up instead of lying back on the pillows. I said, "Why don't you lie against the pillows?" She said, "I don't want to!" I said, "But honey, you need to relax." She said, "But I don't want to relax!" I asked, "Why don't you want to relax, sweetie?" and she said, "It hurts my feelings." I did end up convincing her to rest her head on my shoulder and two books later she was sound asleep.

[pianojazzgirl]

Awww... lol @ your last post!

Glad to see the positive updates!