I have an old friend/ex daycare family. They are having problems with the oldest child in school (third grade) and want my advice.
But, my opinion is, this little boy needs to stop making himself a victim.
As a small child, he cried all the time, over everything. If he didn't get to open the door, he cried. If he didn't get to the end of the sidewalk first, he cried. If he didn't get the bike he wanted, he cried.
On the other hand, he was extremely large for his age, and growing at an amazing pace, which made him more clumsy, and he was ALWAYS last to everything because it was impossible for him to outrun the smaller more agile kids. So, I set things up in such a way, that sometimes, he got there first. I thought it was extremely fair.
Now, he's in third grade, and having the same issues, only he never wins. He's still very, very tall. He's the size of most 7th graders. He's still slower than the smaller more agile kids. He still cries all. day. long.
The kids at his school MIGHT possibly be taking advantage of how easy it is to make him cry. But, maybe they aren't trying to MAKE him cry... but, he's just crying. Nobody can really tell. He sits on the floor in the halllway and claims "they cut" when they are in line at the fountain. But, no adult ever sees this. The other kids say "No, we just got here first". Clearly, though, they enjoy making him cry.
Two other issues are..
1. He still uses a Gerber Sippy cup in the car on the way to school. Kids have seen him with this and tease him about this, and once, he forgot he was holding it and got out of the car with it.
2. He wears glasses, and when he goes out to the playground, he puts goggles on over them. The kids don't actually TEASE him about this, but they ask him why he has them. He has them because basketball players have them, and he likes them. The kids shrug and walk away.
To me, this isn't really bullying, as much as the other kids just not having anything in common with him. He's the odd duck. They don't dislike him, but they seem to like how easy it is to get a good tantrum out of him. Nobody sticks up for him. They just watch him melt down.
The school is observing like crazy, but they CLAIM, they don't see where this is bullying by the other kids. They are calling it the "Perpetual victim syndrom" or something like that.
*Yes, he has a high IQ and is very bright, but not gifted.. they have tested him for the gifted school in the district.. he doesn't fall into that either* He is in the advanced program within his school though.
But, my opinion is, this little boy needs to stop making himself a victim.
As a small child, he cried all the time, over everything. If he didn't get to open the door, he cried. If he didn't get to the end of the sidewalk first, he cried. If he didn't get the bike he wanted, he cried.
On the other hand, he was extremely large for his age, and growing at an amazing pace, which made him more clumsy, and he was ALWAYS last to everything because it was impossible for him to outrun the smaller more agile kids. So, I set things up in such a way, that sometimes, he got there first. I thought it was extremely fair.
Now, he's in third grade, and having the same issues, only he never wins. He's still very, very tall. He's the size of most 7th graders. He's still slower than the smaller more agile kids. He still cries all. day. long.
The kids at his school MIGHT possibly be taking advantage of how easy it is to make him cry. But, maybe they aren't trying to MAKE him cry... but, he's just crying. Nobody can really tell. He sits on the floor in the halllway and claims "they cut" when they are in line at the fountain. But, no adult ever sees this. The other kids say "No, we just got here first". Clearly, though, they enjoy making him cry.
Two other issues are..
1. He still uses a Gerber Sippy cup in the car on the way to school. Kids have seen him with this and tease him about this, and once, he forgot he was holding it and got out of the car with it.
2. He wears glasses, and when he goes out to the playground, he puts goggles on over them. The kids don't actually TEASE him about this, but they ask him why he has them. He has them because basketball players have them, and he likes them. The kids shrug and walk away.
To me, this isn't really bullying, as much as the other kids just not having anything in common with him. He's the odd duck. They don't dislike him, but they seem to like how easy it is to get a good tantrum out of him. Nobody sticks up for him. They just watch him melt down.
The school is observing like crazy, but they CLAIM, they don't see where this is bullying by the other kids. They are calling it the "Perpetual victim syndrom" or something like that.
*Yes, he has a high IQ and is very bright, but not gifted.. they have tested him for the gifted school in the district.. he doesn't fall into that either* He is in the advanced program within his school though.
