Prenatal/childbirth classes

[leappiah]

My husband and I were not able to attend prenatal classes (small town with only one option that didn't work for either of us). I'm due in about a month with my first. We're planning for a home-birth with my mother delivering the baby (not certified midwife, but has delivered many home babies). I've done tons of reading and research, asked a bazillion questions of my doctor and other recent new moms, and am feeling really confident and as prepared as one can be considering I've never actually HAD a baby before.

I'm just wondering, for those of you who have been through birth (particularily home births) before, was there anything that really threw you for a loop? That even though you went to childbirth classes, was really unexpected? With the birth we're planning, I realize that there are responsibilities I, as the mother, have in order to ensure that the baby, myself, my husband, and my mother all have a good, safe experience, so I don't want to miss something that I could have known about just by asking.

Sorry, I'm rambling. I'd very much appreciate any suggestions/experiences/advice that more "experienced" mothers might have!

[MaerynPearl]

I have never gone to a childbirth class before and have had two children... both vaginally without any pain meds... (albeit in the hospital they were with the least amount of intervention and my DD was delivered into the hands of a nurse, not the doctor!)

of course the experience differs woman to woman... but women have been having children for thousands of years... and the majority of them never had a childbirth class and still birthed just fine.

One thing I can tell you is... do not put so much pressure on your shoulders to make it the perfect experience! It is not YOUR responsibility that everyone else there enjoys themselves... and as long as you aren't trying to birth into a drawer of knives I'm pretty sure you have a great grasp on how to stay safe.

Your focus needs to be on what you need to do and what you will go through (transition, pushing phase, etc.)

I would highly suggest though to look up tons of positions/suggestions on easing the discomfort... including in the case of back labor.

[bendmom]

Originally Posted by MaerynPearl

One thing I can tell you is... do not put so much pressure on your shoulders to make it the perfect experience! It is not YOUR responsibility that everyone else there enjoys themselves... and as long as you aren't trying to birth into a drawer of knives I'm pretty sure you have a great grasp on how to stay safe.

Your focus needs to be on what you need to do and what you will go through (transition, pushing phase, etc.)

I would highly suggest though to look up tons of positions/suggestions on easing the discomfort... including in the case of back labor.

Haha, drawer full of knives.. It's funny how worried we women get about making everything good for everybody. I agree that you just need to make it good for YOURSELF.

I have given birth twice so far, and never have taken a birth class, etc. My mom suggested a Bradley Method book with the first one. But I think we mainly used it for a laugh. It was from the 70s and the dad was wearing these tight little shorts with a handle mustache, very 70 porn star, but I digress!!

the best advice and reading I've had to date that was the only thing that I paid attention to, was to stop the high pitched pain noise, and dig way down intothe pain. Grunt low, and focus on the feeling, and breath when your body tells you. There is a birth story in "Womens Bodies, WOmens Wisdom" about a midwife who helped a girl give birth the first time, watching her get scared and yell, be afraid of the pain and want it to go away, she didnt' have a good birth. the second time she did really well, and when she was asked what she did different, she said she just went way down deep into the pain and just focused on that.

That story has helped me tremendously. If you can find a copy of that book I highly reccomend it!

[MaerynPearl]

Im reading hypnobirthing and it really has me excited! It keeps reminding me of what it was like the first times and that I really can do this again and its NOT that bad.

My midwife asked us to take a bradley class and I think I might just because it will help DF to understand better how to help me out... this is his first baby.

[AmyKT]

I was surprised at how little I wanted to move around. I thought I'd be up walking, sitting on the birth ball, rocking on my hands and knees, etc, but it hurt me to move, so I mostly stayed on my back.

I'll echo what Maeryn said and advise you to have a plan but don't be married to it. You never know what's going to work best for you until you're there, so have a full arsenal of tricks that you can pick and choose from.

I took a hypnobirthing class, but when it came down to it, I only used the recorded relaxation while birthing. It helped me zone out so that I didn't really feel many of the contractions.

[Kelly1101]

Pretty much EVERYTHING about childbirth surprised me, hahaha. From how much blood there was (I was a big bleeder), to the things I thought I'd want to do and then didn't (like, I'd put in my birth plan that I wanted to be able to eat, put all these snacks in my bag, but my labor was so intense and furious and the LAST thing I could imagine doing was having a snack).

Really I only think a class is totally necessary for a hospital birth. But, I really would recommend doing some type of preparation for birth in the next month, even if it's out of a book rather than in a taught class-- lamaze, bradley, whatever suits you. Some women do fine with no preparation, and some women do NOT. And I don't think you'll know which you are until you go into labor, so it's better safe than sorry.

[porcelina]

Yes, everything about the first birth threw me for a loop. However, I did take a birthing class at my birth center!! So, you won't be at a loss for not taking a class, but do everything you can to learn about birth. Spend some time browsing through the forums here under birth and beyond, from the homebirthing forum to the birth trauma forum, to see what people's surprises were, and recognize that birth can be either orgasmic or traumatic, or maybe even both, and that anything can happen. I brushed off the possibility of back labor (wishful thinking) and then I got an OP baby. It was extremely difficult and painful, and I ended up at the hospital. Just realize that there really is a huge gamut of possibilities, and you have no idea where you will end up, and be prepared to be flexible. First births are the hardest births, usually...

[leappiah]

As I said, I've done tons of research and reading, so it's not like I'm just now thinking about the fact that I could give birth any day. Just wondered if I was missing anything. I'm definitely a planner/preparer, so am probably going overboard with making sure I've got my head in the right place. I know how I want things to go, but am definitely going to be flexible and just take things as they come. Having two experienced birthers (hehe) with me will definitely make things easier!

Thanks so much for the advise/insight you ladies were able to give!