Did becoming a Mama change your life?

[Saarland]

I am curious! Did becoming a Mama change your life? Did you for example start eating better? Did you change your job? Did you finally start being true to yourself?

[Mrsboyko]

It changed my life in that i started looking at what I do and why, not just doing becasue it is what you do. Does that make sense? I am not sure had I waited longer to have kids if I would have gotten to this point on the same time line or not. I am more assertive now.

[LROM]

I think the difference in going from 0 kids to 1+ kids is always life-changing... I'd be really interested if anyone went from no kids to kid(s) and didn't feel like their life completely changed.

But how it changed definitely varies... for me the main 2 changes are the incredible decrease in my social life (dd is 15 months now and we live in a town where we know some people, but my friends from before I had the baby aren't in touch much now, and of all the new people I've met since the baby, they like us don't go out a whole lot). My schedule revolves around the baby and work and that is a huge change.

Also, interestingly for me, I can't overwork at my job anymore. I used to stay at work until all hours because there was so much to do and I love my job. But now even when I really really should stay, I simply can't if I've gotta pick up dd. And even when dh does pick up, I still want to/need to be home pretty early because I always want to be there when she goes to sleep (and these days I still HAVE to be there because she nurses to sleep).

But probably the single biggest change in my life is how CONTENT I am to just be home with her and dh. Well, actually, I'm rarely home with both, because when he's not working nights he's got her while I do grocery shopping/laundry/shower/clean/whatever else I need to do while I have childcare. But the nights when it's just me and her, I'm so totally content to just hang out with her until she goes to sleep, make her lunch for the next day, then patter around a bit before going to bed. It's been 15 months and I enjoy her as much as I did the day she was born.

I will say though, having kids later for me was a real blessing. Even though I don't know if I'm past being able to have a 2nd, which I'd like, I can definitely say that part of being able to be so content is that I've already done so much and I don't feel like I'm missing anything. If I cant go out and party or travel or hang out, I am SO ok with that, because I got to do a lot of it. I've got a graduate degree, I've travelled to several other countries, I speak a 2nd language, I've just generally done a lot of things that were really fun or interesting or educational and I feel like I'm good for now. I can totally focus on this little being without feeling like I'm missing something, which I don't think I could've done in my 20s and early 30s. (I have that much more respect for young moms who are dedicated and consistent - don't know how they do it!).

So yeah, definitely changed my life. And even if I don't have another bio baby I'll definitely be a foster mom when dd is older and I can't wait to give this attention to someone who hasn't had it yet in their life. I'm sure that will change my life yet again.

[~Charlie's~Angel~]

I started a thread a while back in parenting about how I can't handle watching/hearing/reading certain things anymore. In movies, books, the news, whether its fiction or non fiction, it doesnt matter. Anything where children are suffering in any way shape or form, I turn into a complete emotional basket case. when I was about 8 months preggo with DS2, my inlaws were over for coffee, and we got to watching a Doc on Jonestown. They PLAYED RECORDINGS!! I almost threw up! DS1 was asleep, so I just went to the back bedroom and proceeded to put laundry away. Those commercials about feed a child for a day? FORGET IT. DUMBO FOR CRYING OUTLOUD!!!!

Like PP, I think long and hard about EVERYTHING. Everything from vaxes to food to government.

How I feel about myself. I used to not really care what happened to me. Now I would hate to think of my boys having to grow up without their mama.

[Alisse]

Being a mother has completely changed my life:
- I don't see or talk to my friends very much anymore (we're the first to have a child).
- I eat all home-cooked meals because we have so little time now and so have to plan our meals before the week starts. So we don't go to pubs anymore or eat fast food everyday.
- When i go out for the evening i still look "frumpy", which i'm so proud of, and i forget i have purses that cost more than our stove. My hair is always tied up and i wear baby spit. I don't wear makeup or perfume anymore.
- If i'm away from baby for more than an hour something inside me hurts.
- I am in complete awe of single parents and parents of multiples.
- I have extreme thoughts towards ppl who harm children.
- I can't listen to news stories involving children.
- I never knew i could be THIS MUCH in love and i now understand the purpose of life.

[pacificbliss]

I think it just gave me new perspective on things. I used to get so wrapped up in work and the drama around me. Now all that matters so little. Also a pp mentioned having little tolerance for things in the news or on TV where children are harmed. I find I can not take any violence. I can't watch those crime shows on TV or watch the news.

[Aka mommy]

I changed so much when i became a parent. I was a very selfish, self centered person in many ways. So young and immature. But having a child, changed the core of my soul. I began questioning everything, including who I was and what i was meant to be. The day my daughter was handed to me, was the day I figured out what I was meant to do. I had always felt like a restless soul, roaming the earth looking for my village and my meaning. Looking into her eyes, i found it.

And as they grow and our family grows, i learn more and more about myself. The best gift i've ever been given, are my children. They teach me so much and I am allowed to question and grow as well. i much prefer myself now to the person i was 7 years ago. I feel more centered. I have completely changed, i use to make fun of hippies/crunchy people. Now much of my life is centered in a more natural living approach and i look up to the very people i never understood before parenthood hit me. I found my calling of midwifery/natural childbirth with the birth of my 2nd. With each child, i find something else about my life. A piece of the puzzle that was always there, but i'd never taken the time to turn it over and explore it.

It's not always sunshine and roses, but i have learned to calm the temper and my words with each sleepless night. I have grown to see that I am so lucky to be a woman and have the ability to express who I am and follow my dreams as well as raise children. I am learning, daily. Still fight with myself in my head often, but parenting is the only aspect of my life that i DONT 2nd guess myself. It is the one area i feel complete trust in my gut and instinct and it's nice to have that. Before children i 2nd guessed everything in my life.

So yes, becoming a mom changed me. I use to say i was the butterfly emerging out of the caccoon. But i've never been graceful and beautiful. I've always learned things the hard way lol. So it's much more fitting to compare motherhood to the phoenix process, for me. Many days its hard as heck and i wonder what the heck i got myself into, but then as the ashes of the days meltdowns gathers, you realize you are growing wings from it and able to fly with it. It's a pretty cool process, and i am working harder at being thankful every day for being allowed to experience it.

[ms.shell]

Jen, that was beautifully written (there is no happy tears smiley....lol)
I can relate in many ways and share many of these feelings..
Yes, op, absolutely, of course becoming a mama has changed my life very much and deeply in myriad ways.

I changed so much when i became a parent. I was a very selfish, self centered person in many ways. So young and immature. But having a child, changed the core of my soul. I began questioning everything, including who I was and what i was meant to be. The day my daughter was handed to me, was the day I figured out what I was meant to do. I had always felt like a restless soul, roaming the earth looking for my village and my meaning. Looking into her eyes, i found it.

And as they grow and our family grows, i learn more and more about myself. The best gift i've ever been given, are my children. They teach me so much and I am allowed to question and grow as well. i much prefer myself now to the person i was 7 years ago. I feel more centered. I have completely changed, i use to make fun of hippies/crunchy people. Now much of my life is centered in a more natural living approach and i look up to the very people i never understood before parenthood hit me. I found my calling of midwifery/natural childbirth with the birth of my 2nd. With each child, i find something else about my life. A piece of the puzzle that was always there, but i'd never taken the time to turn it over and explore it.

It's not always sunshine and roses, but i have learned to calm the temper and my words with each sleepless night. I have grown to see that I am so lucky to be a woman and have the ability to express who I am and follow my dreams as well as raise children. I am learning, daily. Still fight with myself in my head often, but parenting is the only aspect of my life that i DONT 2nd guess myself. It is the one area i feel complete trust in my gut and instinct and it's nice to have that. Before children i 2nd guessed everything in my life.

So yes, becoming a mom changed me. I use to say i was the butterfly emerging out of the caccoon. But i've never been graceful and beautiful. I've always learned things the hard way lol. So it's much more fitting to compare motherhood to the phoenix process, for me. Many days its hard as heck and i wonder what the heck i got myself into, but then as the ashes of the days meltdowns gathers, you realize you are growing wings from it and able to fly with it. It's a pretty cool process, and i am working harder at being thankful every day for being allowed to experience it.

[~Charlie's~Angel~]

Originally Posted by ms.shell

Jen, that was beautifully written(there is no happy tears smiley....lol)
I can relate in many ways and share many of these feelings..
Yes, op, absolutely, of course becoming a mama has changed my life very much and deeply in myriad ways.

[newbiemama09]

not as much as i thought it would, but it did shock me (and still sort of does) how EASY it was for me to completely and selflessly give my life to this unborn child inside of me, and how now that she's out and a whole person, how i would do ANYTHING for her, and i would be willing to sacrifice most anything. that was such a easy transition for me, and i'm still shocked by that.

[nola79]

I would say that my priorities changed, and I "grew up" and became more responsible. Many other small changes but that is the main one.

[FelixMom]

I became more sensitized to different things (environment, food, women's health) and necessarily had to develop a bit more patience. I'm still working on that , as well as escaping the dysfunctional dynamics of my past to give my children the best foundation for their future.

I love how parenting forces you to be zen, present with the moment. Children are never distracted by the past (they forgot what bothered them 5 minutes ago) or the future (asking a 2 or 3 yr old to wait 20 minutes for everything is unfathomable).