hitting

[mama_mimi]

How do you handle this?

My DS is 15mo and in this stage of hitting....
the cat
objects
me

He doesn't watch tv, I don't hit him, and is rarely around other kids. So is this normal? And I typically hold his hand or stop him and say "we don't hit" then showing him how to touch gently and using calm words that match that action.

My second concern is that I have another baby due in May. I'm wondering if this could escalate if I don't get it under control now. I realize he is in toddlerhood and beginning to throw fits, etc. Just wondering what is normal and any advice.

*sigh* My little baby is growing up!

[BettinaAuSucre]

My kiddo is doing this too. Unfortunately, i have popped her on the butt or head if she does something wrong and i immediately need to get her attention. Its a light tap but its still hitting. I think she gets it from me. im not proud of myself for doing so...but i have since stopped when i noticed she was hitting others.

[daniturtle]

Yes, totally normal. It sounds as if he is doing this as part of play? In other words, that he doesn't know how to use his hands in play and that hitting is not acceptable. Although if he is hitting in anger or frustration, that's normal too! You are doing the right thing, in stopping it and re-directing in how to touch gently. You probably won't see any change for a long time, though, just so you know. Even if they "know" it's wrong, toddlers lack the self-control to not do something like hitting. Keep on redirecting, teaching how to appropriately play/touch/use hands and someday it will pay off!

Other suggestion that we've used is to get the "Hands Are Not For Hitting" board book - we have the "Teeth Are Not For Biting" and "Tails Are Not For Pulling" ones of the series and Thalia loves them. And hopefully she's taking in some of the message-- she does pull the dogs' and cat's tails less frequently these days (started pulling at around 12 months and she's 18 months now) and the biting...well, it's less often, somewhat (she bites in frustration). I think the books are a nice extra tool to use, especially if your son likes books as much as my daughter does.

I know you are worried about him hitting your new baby, even if he doesn't "mean" to -- in this case I would advise constant vigilance and stopping him before he hits the baby. And constantly showing him how to handle and touch the baby- gentle pats, kisses, gentle hugs. You could even get him a baby doll (or maybe he already has one?) and practice before the new baby gets here...

[starling&diesel]

Esmé will sometimes hit the cat or dog when she gets very excited. I was saying 'gentle, gentle' but then realize she was linking the HITTING with the word 'gentle' because I wasn't saying it until she was already hitting.
Now I model gentle touch and say "gentle, nice touch" on a regular basis with the cat and dog. I praise her when she's touching them softly.
I remove her from the cat or dog if she hits and say, "Hands are for gentle touch. When you can be gentle, you can play with the dog/cat."
If she hits me or another family member, we don't react with words, but we do make a sad face and put her down. This nips it in the bud, as she doesn't want to be put down.
Good luck! I think it's a phase many of us have to deal with. And congrats on the new baby ... how exciting!

[crunchy_mommy]

Yes it's normal, a lot of it is just lack of self-control (i.e. they want to touch your face, pet the pets, etc. but their excitement turns it into hitting). We say "gentle" while we demonstrate -- taking his hand and moving it gently on our face/the dog/etc. and also touching his face or arm gently so he knows both how to touch gently AND how it feels to be gently touched. Now as soon as he realizes he's hit me he will gently stroke my cheek... so he's definitely learning & also getting better at not hitting in the first place. We also saying things like, "yes, the dog likes it when you're gentle," or "Gentle feels nice to Mommy," when he is being gentle.