Tell me it will be ok

[lilyka]

when I first found out about the affair it was through an email I intercepted that talked about him and his girlfriend running away to Canada with my children. and how much she wants to be my girls new mommy.... :Puke:

Last week they pulled the girls out of school for lunch. I paniced. For a minute I thought they were doing it. running away with my kids.

I just got an email from him saying he wants to take them to vancouver. oh hell no. he says they cannot get across the border without my signature but somehow it feels easier than that. like he could just vanish across the border. with my kids.

what do I do (besides say no?)

what is the procedure for crossing the Canadian border?

[MissLotus]

No way. Do you have a formal custody and visitation agreement? Unless/until you do, just no way! Do not be afraid to stand your ground on that because it's very, very standard to have things formalized before the non-custodial parent can take your children out of the country.

And what are they doing pulling your kids out of school for lunch? The school allows that? For instance, I am my son's custodial parent, and anyone other than me picking him up from school needs a note from me/my permission. Unless his visitation is that liberal, you need to tell your school that that must not happen again.

If things have not been formalized yet, show your lawyer the email that mentions the running away thing, which I agree is awful, and make the lawyer use the phrase "flight risk" to the judge. You have proof of it. Sometimes you can have things put into agreements about not taking kids out of state, or out of the country, or a certain distance, etc, without the other parent's permission.

[PoppyMama]

That stinks, lilyka. I can see how you would be panicked. I've heard parents here talk about notifying someone (not sure who it would be) so that there would be a flag on their childrens name if there was an attempt to take them out of the country. Do you still have the email talking about kidnapping them- just in case he tries to go to court to get permission for them to visit Canada.

[Minxie]

•Bringing children to Canada:

The Canadian government knows from experience that divorcing or divorced parents of minor children have been known to try to cross the border with their children, without the consent of the other parent, to avoid legal obligations related to child custody. Thus, if you will be crossing the border alone with a young child, you probably will be asked to explain the circumstances.

Divorced parents who share custody of children should have copies of the legal custody documents. It may also expedite matters if a single parent traveling with children has a letter signed by both him- or herself and child’s other parent, explaining that the trip is being made with the consent of the absent parent. Occasionally, immigration personnel will telephone that parent, so, as an added precaution, it can be helpful if the absent parent can be reachable at around the time of the expected arrival at the border.

http://www.visitcanada.com/Passports....html#passport

[lilyka]

Minxi - that sounds like it would be fairly easy for him to get them across the border even if I refuse to sign the permission form.

Legally he gets them for a few weeks in the summer. Is that all he needs. unfortunately the "no leaving the US" clause got left out of the divorce decree. F**K!

I hate this so much.

I do not have that email. It was 7 years ago and I was so shocked. By the time I snapped to it was long gone.

He can pick them up from school because we have joint legal custody. or something. I don't know. I did give him permission ubt I don't think they asked for it. Had i known she was going to be here I would not have given my permisison.

We have been divorced for two years, everything is finalized and I was just starting to be ok again. My guess is that this is for their wedding. of course I will be the last one to know.

I talked to the kids. about why I will not be letting them to go. they seemed understanding. they do not seem to be too fond of her.