Mums of Many it's April

[baltic_ballet]

WELCOME

[baltic_ballet]

Wow the weeks are flying by; I can't believe it's April already

What are everyone's plans for Easter? We are planning a large family lunch with all the extended family.


The past few months have been very hectic for me so I am going to try and join in here more often

Sam

[Kidzaplenty]

Here I am. And I, too, can't believe it is already April! WOW!

[annettemarie]

Happy April! It was sunshiney and beautiful here today.

[rajahkat]

No Easter plans here. We celebrate Ostara on the First day of Spring instead. My Easter Sundays usually involve going out for a cup of coffee only to not understand "why everything is closed!?!"

I have some ookey stomach thing this evening. Hoping not to puke.

[Kidzaplenty]

We don't celebrate Easter (we do the plagues and passover). This year, Easter sunday is my son's birthday, so we will be celebrating that.

[SeekingSerenity]

My kids like dyeing eggs and hunting for them... for days... possibly weeks...

I still have almost all of the plastic eggs from LAST Easter, so we shall be starting the hallowed egg-hunts on Saturday.

Otherwise, I give my kids baskets (filled mostly with inexpensive things that they can use in creative ways - sidewalk chalk, mini-Playdoh tubs, markers, little notebooks, etc. - rather than candy or toys they just forget about). Then we spend the day just enjoying ourselves outside (weather permitting) and playing together as a family.

I don't celebrate any of the Christian aspects of Easter (obviously) but I am respectful of those who do. We made a pretty big deal out of Ostara on the equinox (well, me and my kids did, DH is unconcerned with any of it, really).

I also try desperately to steer clear of as much candy as possible. Seriously, I am still trying to get rid of Halloween and Christmas candy!!

[baltic_ballet]

I hope I didn't offend anyone by asking about Easter - it wasn't my intention

[Kidzaplenty]

I, for one, was not offended at all. I just do not celebrate it as much of the world does. This is always a fun time of year for us, though. So much going on and all.

[phathui5]

I'm hoping to get a chance to do some Easter baskets tomorrow while dh watches the kids.

[PreggieUBA2C]

We don't celebrate easter, but we will be having a spring celebration. We wanted to do it on the first day of spring, but we were all sick, then we were finally able to coordinate help to demolish and then replace 20' of exterior wall, and then dp's job schedule was in the way, soooooo, we'll be having our spring celebration on April 7th.

We'll be planting all of our indoor starting seeds, eating chocolate and candies and the children have some very sweet little organic stuffed toy dinosaurs coming to them. In the thread about non-religious easter celebrations, I was reminded that hunts are fun, so I have to figure out something to hide and have the children find. I'll be baking a carrot cake and roasting a goose and other goodies too. Maybe we'll offer to do the barn chores for our friends who own the farm we're living on. A real egg hunt! We all like doing them.

It's so muddy right now that we'll likely not spend much time outside slipping and sliding all over the place. Maybe we'll watch Microcosmos.

On April 1st, I happened to ask dp what the date was and he said, "April 1st... HAHAHA! No it's not. Aprils fools!" I told him if it wasn't April 1st, it wasn't a very good joke and if was, then it wasn't a joke at all.

On the docket for April is the building of a chicken coop from repurposed demolition lumber from the trailer. I'm excited! Chicks to arrive in May!

[rajahkat]

Well not very Springy here today! Chris just took the 4 elder kids up the mountain for some sledding. We woke up to 6 inches of fresh snow this morning. Elm is napping so I'm enjoying the quiet & knitting some leg/arm warmers for Cedar. That poor girls hands and feet are always freezing!

Shrimp etouffee for dinner tonight, just waiting for everyone to get home to throw the shrimp into the pot, and then I think we'll watch Sherlock Holmes tonight. Maybe a cup of coffee & a hot shower.

Cedar's birthday is on the 10th, and Chris is headed out to Kalispell on the same day, so I think we'll celebrate the night before with dinner & cake and then have her open her gifts in the morning before he leaves for the airport. She doesn't really need or want any new toys, so I'm thinking some dresses & a trip to Claires for some fun hair pretties. I may get her a new duvet & cover too, if I see something in the pink/purple she adores so much right now.

And I guess that's about it for me!

[peaceful_mama]

Still here. Still pregnant. Is it cause it's my 4th and I'm massively out of shape that I already feel ligaments stretching?!

please please please do not tell me it is because my uterus is larger at only 7 weeks because I am having twins or something.........

you can see the other kids' ages in my siggy. 4 in 6 years. is that it? please tell me that's it.

[rajahkat]

I can only tell you that with my last I was noticeably pregnant suuuper early. Like bloating & not fitting into my clothes by 6-8 weeks. Not twins.

[suziek]

Hello friends, I need sleep advice stat. How would you handle bedtime/sleep with a 5 month old with older siblings. Bedtime with the 4 bigs is such a fun slog--snack, showers, reading, a bit of tomfoolery and then sleep. After that I nurse my smallest man to sleep so that means his "bedtime" is around 9:30. He wakes again around 11 and then at 3 and 5. I'm getting a little tired. At each wake up I nurse him back to sleep. During the day he naps whenever. There is so much going on we haven't developed any kind of rythym or pattern. Now that he's approaching 6 months I'm thinking I need something more predictable for both him and me. Sleeping through the night would be nice too. He's an exceptionally happy, easy baby. But the sleep issue needs some work. Advice?

This is a MOM issue because if he were a #1 or 2 I'd know how to set a routine. Doing that feels impossible with all the other kids. That's why I'm asking here. Will also ask in nighttime parenting. TIA

[mataji4]

I'm very curious about suggestions for suziek...sounds like my babies and I don't think I can be up so much anymore, at my age, with all I have to do during the day. So when this babe is a few months old I'm going to be looking for some solid ideas too!

[PreggieUBA2C]

I have no advice on sleep issues. If I write about why, we'll be into the fourth page before I'm done.

I do have a question of my own, for you mamas.

Today a friend invited me out to a meeting (organic growers; I would looove to go), but dp is at work, which she knew, so she and her dh had called offerring for her dh to look after our four boys for four hrs while I'm away with his wife.

I have never left our four boys with anyone. I cannot imagine being comfortable with leaving our four boys with one person. He and his wife raised one son who is now grown and moved out and they had a baby in their home last summer for a few months with their niece (the baby's mother).

I trust my friends, but I think that this proposition would be like jumping into an unknown lake from very high up given that he has never looked after so many children at once, our boys have never been looked after by him or anyone else (well, except the oldest two who were looked after twice as infant and toddler while ds3 was being birthed and one other time), AND it would be the first time for me as well, and none of us knows or is sure of how things will go.

My friends thought that his having grown up with 8 siblings would be adequate for experience with this, but I pointed out that he was a sibling, and not in charge of meeting his siblings' needs; his mum did that.

Any time someone thinks their experience as a child is adequate preparation for child-rearing or care-taking, I am leery. Their son is also 21 yrs old, so it's been a long while since he's dealt with the needs of a 28 month old, and children from that age to 6 yrs.

Do you leave your young closely spaced children with others (one untried, unproven person alone)? Would you leave your four children in this situation? I said no. It took dp a few hours of reflection to come to that conclusion, but if it were just his decision, he said that he would have been fine with it. BUT he does agree that my concerns are valid and reason enough to not do it. He just wouldn't have thought of it that way to begin with. But I do, so he is in agreement.

My dp suggested that perhaps we could ask them if they'd like to look after our boys together while dp and I go out for a few hours. That way, there are two of them to problem-solve and make decisions. But even then, while we've know our friends for nearly two years, we haven't spent enough time for them to be really aware of how we live, which isn't completely necessary with our boys because they are very verbal and confident and can inform if necessary, BUT in a worse-case scenario, if they had to involve someone else, they wouldn't know what our decisions would be. I would prefer that those sorts of things be known between us before they look after our children.

Also, our boys all have ADD in varying degrees and manifestations. We have an enormous 'tool box' for helping each one thrive and not end up being overwhelmed or becoming unruly and miserable, while maintaining respect and compassion for them. We are by no means strict, but we do a lot of work to make things run chaotically here. "Smoothly" is impossible, and "chaotically" is as good as it gets because the alternative is just rotten and miserable.

I am an expert at navigating the relationships here, and much of the time, I have to do that with dp too, because he is just not as aware and also doesn't spend as much time at home as I do. Anyway, other people have no chance at this, which is one reason why I stay home. Because I do so much work, others (including these friends) have no idea what goes on 'behind the scenes' to make things work here and what they see is the fruit of that labour, having no idea what the labour consists of for me, and for them should they take on looking after our boys. An hour or two or maybe three would be fine if I set it up for them, but four hrs with one person whose never done this before seems, well, potentially hazardous to me.

I just think that overall, the common idea that it's normal or healthy to leave children with people who do not know them very, very well, is one oftentimes of convenience or necessity, and neither of those situations exists for us. It is neither convenient nor necessary for our dc to be looked after by others right now, so it seems to me a risk not worth taking. They will not be 28 months to 6 yrs old forever, and while they are, decisions about their care are more critical than they will be in a few years, for instance.

What do you think, mamas?

[gardenmommy]

Thinking I might very well like to jump in for the company and support of other MOM. I have 5 DC, ages 11, 8, 5, 2, and 2 weeks. Very crazy and busy here most of the time. I am always looking for more ideas and whatnot for making life run more smoothly.

[zjande]

Well, my very short answer your your long question is, no, I wouldn't have considered it. For every reason you brought up. We've only ever left our 2 & 4 yr olds with grandma one time, so we could go see Avatar . Otherwise, we don't use sitters. I'm just too leery of other folks trying to happily provide for my challenging ("spirited"?) 4 yr old, and anyone who hasn't had a 2 yr old of their own recently might be in for a surprise! They're not always easy! So no, I would have sincerely thanked the friends for the offer, but declined.

Regarding SuzieK's question, I'm right there with ya with a 5 month old in bed with me, but I have no advice either. My baby wakes up 2- 3 times per night & nurses right back to sleep. I feel suuuper grateful for this, he's the best sleeper of my bunch! My others weren't sleeping for such long stretches at that age. None of mine have slept through the night til past their 4th bday. I honestly think I've just grown accustomed to feeling loopy from sleep loss. My memory is absolutely shot. No joke. And I'm sure it's from a lifetime of sleep loss.

Gee, isn't that helpful?? I do wish you luck though suziek!

[orangefoot]

I wouldn't leave four children of the ages yours are with someone who didn't know them well - like several-times-a-week-well.

Leaving children with whoever is a common thing in mainstream society but it doesn't sit well with me either. We rarely leave ours with anyone and two of them are teens so well able to look after their own needs. You know your children and if you think things may not go well without careful planing and your tool box at hand then don't do it.

Missing opportunities for yourself is hard but as you say, it won't be forever.