At least it wasn't a text

[mama_ani]

Last night stbx called and ended our marriage.
In a four minute phone call from work.
Classy.

We had been working toward him moving home in June, hit a snag and he bailed. This is the third time he's ended it "forever" and every time I've convinced him to keep trying. I am done. I'm not chasing him anymore. This messed up relationship isn't worth chasing anymore.

I am sad and disappointed but the kids and I are going to be fine. Onward and upward, right?

[DirtRoadMama]

Oh, that's harsh!

I feel your pain. I've heard the "gone forever" claim twice now, and just last night I was wondering if I would hear it again. It's filled me with so much anxiety. I'm relieved that my guy is saying that he wants to work it out, because not hearing that at all was making me feel so unlovable, like I wasn't worth the effort to work on the relationship. Somehow, I feel that in the future, should he bail again, knowing that (at some moment) he knew I was worth it, will make it easier to deal with. I too feel that a third time of bailing would be the last time. A person's heart can only take so much.

The point of all that was this: I hope that you feel he knew you are worth it, in at least one of his less selfish moments.

[*MamaJen*]

Or, like that episode of Sex in the City supposedly based on a true story experienced by one of the writers, it could have been a Post-It note.
Onwards and upwards indeed. It sounds like it's been a long roller coaster for you, and I hope you at least have closure now and can move forward into the future without uncertainty about the present.

[Everrgreen]

Oh I am so so sorry to hear this. He has really dragged you along his rollar coaster, which is so unfair to you and your family I hope that you can find peace with all of this. Take care of yourself!!

[mama_ani]

Thanks for your replies DirtRoadMama, Jen and Gililan! I am doing surprisingly well today despite the fact I didn't sleep at all last night.
You know, I am doing well. There has been so much garbage, so much heartache, so much pain in the last six months since this started and I've been working through it all slowly but surely. I'm at a point now where what I see if my future laying out before me! I know there will be bad days, awful & excruciating days but those will not outnumber the days where I am thankful for my amazing children. I am planning out my future and trying to be optimistic.
I don't see the last six months of "on again off again" as a waste, I see it as a time that was well used to identify and start working on all my issues.
I know I won't always be this positive and zen about it all but you know, I really am going to try. I figure I can let this break me or make me stronger and since I got the better end of this deal because I have my kids, then I am going to get even stronger!

[racheepoo]

Sometimes the closure can just bring relief. Now you can move on, knowing he won't be there, knowing that you get to make a life for yourself. And it really can be good. You'll see.

[singin'intherain]

When you have been yanked back and forth by someone enough times, it can feel empowering to finally say, done! Good for you- nothing can touch you after you finally decide to be in control of your own emotional life.

[mama_ani]

I'm sad to say the 'doing well' lasted about a day. The last couple have been struggles. I keep crying, which I hate doing & it upsets the kids. I obsess about why he won't call again (I guessed that he would change his mind since he has so many times) and then get stressed at the thought of him calling. I definitely definitely do not want him back but right now I am hurting so much I don't know how I'll make it through this black hole. I know I will, there's no choice, but I just want to skip to the "done with the worst of the pain" part. I'm sad.

[DirtRoadMama]

Oh....

I wish I had some great advice for you. I know exactly how you feel.

I hope today is better.

[racheepoo]

If you can find a counselor, I would highly recommend it for you and your kids at this time. It's stressful and hard, and the back and forth is the worst part. Sending good healing vibes to you.