Are you too radical or different from most people?tribe?

[hippiemommaof4]

I guess I feel so insecure sometimes because I feel like I am way too radical or different even from other people even some "crunchy" people. Do any of you ever feel that way? Politically I am pretty liberal and my parenting is somewhat liberal but way more liberal than most people even most crunchy people I know. I feel like I am too extreme for most people. I never feel understood or that I fit in anywhere.

We are also stationed in a part of the south that seems to be in dark ages, I mean literally. There are still MANY race issues here which we have seen first hand (been victims of racism)and it makes me sick and this is from all people not just one specific race. I wasn't raised that way and I am not raising my kids that way period. I try to bring it up to people and point it out and I am the one who is looked down on. WTH is going on here? I wont stand for any types of injustice esp not racial injustices. That's just one of many things happening though.

I know a few nursing moms but most dont go on to nurse past a year or even a couple months. It is just a huge deal around here and there is a lot of pressure not to nurse. My local wic doesnt even try to get women to nurse!!! People looked their nose up at me for nursing a newborn, now my baby is 13 months almost and I am still nursing. I dont see much of any encouragement for anything natural or anything outside the box in this place and it frustrates me. Does anyone else ever feel like you're up against giants? or am I losing it? I do have a couple friends irl whom I love and can relate to but it seems like we are a major minority compared to other people/parents and that becomes lonely when they move away all the time being that we are military spouses.

I feel like I am in a sense, fighting giants to find some common ground with people. I mean if you have ever lived in the south or do currently I am sure you will understand what I mean somewhat. I am having a serious time connecting with people irl, and I am a very social outgoing person. Maybe I am too outgoing and opinionated and that puts people off? I have no idea anymore....we're also not religious and we live in the bible belt so thats another issue too. Ahh so much to say but I figured some mamas here on MDC could relate at least a little. thanks for reading and I hope it made sense.

[AnniesFam]

I live in NC and definitely can relate that it is extremely difficult to connect with like-minded "crunchy" people around these parts!
I am proud that I nursed until 26.5 mos, use cloth dipes, AP, etc, etc. I love to talk about nursing DS and hearing other moms' birth and nursing stories. I test the waters with potential mom friends by squeezing in that I nursed "past 18 mos" -- I wait for the gasp, googly eyes, or silence to gauge the likelihood we'll have much else in common.... Needless to say, my mothering experience has been a bit of a lonely one.

Regionally and locally, there is a strong homeschooling movement, but many groups have overwhelming religious overtones that don't...well...meet our needs.

I'm always on MDC wishing many of these mamas were my neighbors and friends!!

[Tkgrl88]

I hear you..!! I am not a mom yet but won't be vaxing my kids, believe there are huge conspiracies in everything from fluoridated water to genetically modified crops to of course amalgam fillings, don't believe in raising my kids in an uptight manner, etc. etc.

But I do live in L.A. so I'm not seen as THAT crazy here
However I mostly keep my thoughts to myself except about the mercury..! I try telling people about it when it's releveant to the conversation (whether or not to vaccinate, mysterious case of Bell's Palsy in a co-workers friend, etc.) and most are receptive but block it out after a while.. I guess they want to stay happy & in denial..!!

[lafemmedesfemmes]

oh wow-- i feel for you. i've only ever lived in the metro-atlanta area (22ish years and counting), and the pickings can be slim around here and you have to go far to find them, especially in the outer suburbs. i know when i go daytripping outside of metro-atlanta, it feels like i'm visiting another state, or maybe another world! (and, believe me, we pretty much stick out wherever we go-- interracial, atheist, liberal, uc'ing, ap'ing, cd'ing, hs'ing, the whole alphabet soup, really! ) unfortunately, i have lots of sympathy but no suggestions, except to keep putting yourself out there, if you have the heart to, and hopefully you'll find a kindred spirit who is as lonely as you are.

christina

[hippiemommaof4]

Originally Posted by lafemmedesfemmes

oh wow-- i feel for you. i've only ever lived in the metro-atlanta area (22ish years and counting), and the pickings can be slim around here and you have to go far to find them, especially in the outer suburbs. i know when i go daytripping outside of metro-atlanta, it feels like i'm visiting another state, or maybe another world! (and, believe me, we pretty much stick out wherever we go-- interracial, atheist, liberal, uc'ing, ap'ing, cd'ing, hs'ing, the whole alphabet soup, really! ) unfortunately, i have lots of sympathy but no suggestions, except to keep putting yourself out there, if you have the heart to, and hopefully you'll find a kindred spirit who is as lonely as you are.

christina

Thanks christina, I wish you lived closer!

[hippiemommaof4]

Originally Posted by AnniesFam

I live in NC and definitely can relate that it is extremely difficult to connect with like-minded "crunchy" people around these parts!
I am proud that I nursed until 26.5 mos, use cloth dipes, AP, etc, etc. I love to talk about nursing DS and hearing other moms' birth and nursing stories. I test the waters with potential mom friends by squeezing in that I nursed "past 18 mos" -- I wait for the gasp, googly eyes, or silence to gauge the likelihood we'll have much else in common.... Needless to say, my mothering experience has been a bit of a lonely one.

Regionally and locally, there is a strong homeschooling movement, but many groups have overwhelming religious overtones that don't...well...meet our needs.

I'm always on MDC wishing many of these mamas were my neighbors and friends!!

we lived in fayetteville for 6 yrs ((((hugs))) I was a nut there too LOL

[hippiemommaof4]

Originally Posted by Tkgrl88

I hear you..!! I am not a mom yet but won't be vaxing my kids, believe there are huge conspiracies in everything from fluoridated water to genetically modified crops to of course amalgam fillings, don't believe in raising my kids in an uptight manner, etc. etc.

But I do live in L.A. so I'm not seen as THAT crazy here
However I mostly keep my thoughts to myself except about the mercury..! I try telling people about it when it's releveant to the conversation (whether or not to vaccinate, mysterious case of Bell's Palsy in a co-workers friend, etc.) and most are receptive but block it out after a while.. I guess they want to stay happy & in denial..!!

lol you made me smile when you said you believe there are huge conspiracies in everything, I can relate LOL. My dh thinks I am crazy LOL

[Mountaingirl79]

Awww, you guys should live in Asheville...we will accept you here.


( Wait, traffic is pretty bad.....maybe you should stagger your visits..)


I would probably be considered pretty radical in other places ( and we do feel out of place sometimes when we travel) but right here at home we are fairly average.

[almadianna]

I live in texas. I feel like this all of the time....

This is a great tribe and I am moving it to personal growth because this is a good topic to discuss in that forum. Part of this is just... coping I think.

[Logan]

I can totally relate! I feel the same most of the time.

[philomom]

I was odd in Decatur, Ga.

In Portland, Or... my "uniqueness" is more mainstream. You have to be really shocking to be different here. We are so happy now!

[greenmamato2]

Another in Texas who is feeling the same way. We used to be stationed in Okahoma and it was worse there, even. At least here there are knitters and crocheters. Somehow that seems to be a niche where I've been able to find a few more like-minded-crunchy-headed people.

HUGS - hang in there and make good use of your online communities. Its hard when you're feeling so alone.

[almadianna]

where in texas are you in greenmamato2?

[cappuccinosmom]

I feel this way. Although I am a social conservative and fairly politically conservative.

Dh and I are just too hard to pidgeonhole. We just don't fit, either with liberals or conservatives. We're not Ameri-centric in our thinking about global politics, but local/state politics we're conservative. Dh is African but we definitely don't fit in local African American culture. I'm white, and I don't fit with "white culture" around here or anywhere else. We're evangelical Christian, but oddities there too because of some of our beliefs/choices. But our Mennonite friends consider us lovably eccentric and we don't fit with them either. Any "group" that I can think of, we'd have a hard time fitting into because we're so varied.

[~Charlie's~Angel~]

Im actually kinda bummed sometimes, because i feel like i dont fit in ANYWHERE, even at MDC.

I don't vaxx, and exclusively BF, but only until about a year. I would love to homeschool, but can't, as I have to work full time. I try to feed my children as much fresh fruits and veggies as possible, but its not usually organic, I have been known to stop at McyD's once in a very great while, or privde them with frozen chicken pattys for a quick meal. I cook with tap water, but do not drink it or give it to the kids to drink EVER. But I dont have a special filter, I just buy gallons of spring water.

There are a few other things I am NOT going to admit here, because I am pretty sure it will result in a full fledged bannishment.

So there you have it, I am just nutty enough to be considered strange by all my mainstream friends and family, however, not nearly crunchy enough to be accepted by most of the crowd here. so I am pretty much a loner most of the time.

[PinkNFluffy]

My son is 27 months and still nursing A LOT, and the church Mom's group I went to... they all pretty much bottle feed or nurse only a couple months. Oh and I still sleep beside my son, in the same bed, and they all disagree with it like it's sooo bad. I'm like get a frickin education on things that are NATURAL.

[karika]

yes I feel this way too and it is hard. At least on mDC there are a few others that are the same way. dds father thinks I am 'out there' but leaves the raising to me. I can't write much now, but you are not alone! I am in eastern WA and feel crunchier than the ones I have met here too. and I have been out of the social scene for so long I don't even know how to be social anymore apparently. I did recently find a mother's group here that supports babywearing and extended breastfeeding. Some of the mothers birth at home also so this is hopeful... but I have not formed any connections on a personal level yet, it is just good the children get out to play with other children at this point. I will post again later...

[windsorheightsmom]

The great thing about growing up Jewish in a community that was less than 1 percent Jewish is that I don't feel self-conscious about my parenting being outside the mainstream. You don't need to be part of a majority or even a large minority. You are doing what works for your family. You are probably an inspiration to a few people as well, even if you don't know it.

Have you been able to connect with even a small group of friends in your area? Do you keep in touch with anyone who's on your wavelength? If you've got a kindred spirit living somewhere else, splurge on a long-distance calling plan that lets you talk/vent to that person frequently.

[windsorheightsmom]

Barbie64g, you don't have to conform 100 percent to anyone's check list to be here. You are striking the balance that works for your family. We all have our different "things" we're passionate about.

You may enjoy the forums at Attachment Parenting International (www.attachmentparenting.org). They are much less about the "crunchy" stuff and much more focused on your relationship with your child. API doesn't take an official position on many things that are dogmas at MDC (vaccination, circumcision, cloth diapering, homeschooling, etc.).

[MariaMadly]

We're kind of non-stereotypical in several ways . . . a socially liberal military family, for one thing. That has brought us some surreal moments, but DH enjoys spreading the word about extended breastfeeding, AP, etc. Also, our kids have / are public schooled K-12 (their choice), and I've been heavily involved in the communities. I've often been the one voice against a punitive approach to something, or supporting a free-range kid attitude about a situation. School administrators refer to my opinions as "radical" in a completely matter-of-fact tone of voice. I guess "radical" is "normal" for me!