How to BF a wiggly newborn with only 2 hands?

[lizsky]

I'm a 1st time mama with a 3 week old very wiggly DD. I need to use one hand to hold my breast, the other hand to guide her head, but I feel like I need an extra hand to deal with her hands...she will initially latch on nicely with the whole aerola in her mouth but a few seconds later she will push off of me with her hands and shake her head...this is very uncomfortable and she ends up with a poor latch with just the nipple in her mouth.

I try removing my nipple and re-latching but we end up in the same cycle and after 20 or so rounds we are both very frustrated. I've tried taking her off the breast and soothing her for several minutes and then trying to BF once she's calmer, but she often resumes her wiggling very quickly. I've tried tucking her arms to her sides or even swaddling them in, but she then she screams. She is making a lot of diapers every day and her weight gain is just fine according to the ped, so I think she is managing to get enough. But I'm really sore and uncomfortable and I really want this latch situation to improve and wondering what to do.

[kismetbaby]

I feel you mama! We had lots of difficulties in the beginning and they were all made worse by the fact that my DS would wiggle and throw his arms around when I was trying to get him to latch. He always seemed to get his hands in the way of his mouth or my nipple. Argh!
Mostly this was solved by time. . .as were all my BFing challenges. Remember, BFing is something you BOTH have to learn! Your LO has never done it either! In the meantime, here are a couple thoughts and hopefully other mamas will chime in too!
--have your partner hold your LOs hands or head or your breast. Basically add an extra pair of adult hands into the mix if you can
--try swaddling before you try to latch. It may help calm your LO down to feel "hugged" and it will get the crazy hands out of the way.
--try to learn to latch without holding your breast. I kept try to hold my breast with one hand and babes head with the other, but then having no hand for keeping his hands away. Then my LC told me I should try to get the latch without holding the breast. I guess it depends on your breasts shape and size, but if you can manage it, try to aim your LOs head and just "zoom" her onto the breast when she opens.
--you might also try different positions. she might be less wiggly with a football hold or side-laying nursing. Some mamas can even nurse in a sling, which might also calm her.

I reread your post more carefully and see that a lot of the issues happen after an initial good latch. Could be she is either, getting overwhelmed by strong letdown and therefore trying to back off the nipple, or she might be frustrated if you haven't let down fast enough and she wants the milk NOW. Either way, she will learn with a little more time to manage your flow. . .until then I think trying new/different nursing positions might be the way to go. Also I think its very important to try and be calm yourself. I know that's hard, but they feel your stress and it can add to that cycle. So play some music, take deep breaths, and believe that you will both learn to do this with just a little more practice!

Hang in there mama! I know it can be frustrating in the beginning, but they get control of their heads and hands very quickly and soon she won't need any help at all to find the goods!

[CrunchyChristianMama]

Swaddling.

Whenever my DD was like this as a newborn I would swaddle her. We had to do the same thing the few times she took a bottle of EBM because she did not like the idea, but would do much better if she could relax and eat.

[Eaglevoice]

Are you using a nursing pillow, like a boppy to help prop her in your lap? I would use the boppy plus another small pillow under her head so I wouldn't have to use 1 hand to hold her head in place. This might help to free one of your hands so you can get a better grip on her and hold her hands and arms still. Maybe if you start swaddling her more often she will get used to it and she won't be so upset when she is swaddled and nursing. I can only imagine how frustrating this must be for you. Just keep working at it. Most importantly is make sure you are not letting her nurse with a bad latch because that is going to develop into bad habits that will continue to be painful. You need to get a good latch everytime. Keep it up, mama!!

[cheryllynn]

Swaddle.

I settled on the Woombie - the houdini model. It saved me several times. At the beginning I would need DH's two hands and my two hands and then I'd attempt to 'lock' her in place with my elbow.

http://www.thewoombie.com/index.html

[cristeen]

The only way I could make it work was in the football hold. You wedge their lower arm between the two of you, and you can use your elbow to control the upper arm, and still have your two hands free. At 6 mos, it's still the only way we can nurse.

[texmati]

I feel you mama! I used to nurse in cross cradle hold, and sort of use my whole arm to support his head, back and butt. The breast friend is and still was a life saver!

[octobermom]

Mines 3 weeks also and we deffienty have those secessions! I second third? the suggestion for swaddling..

Deanna

[averlee]

I definitely agree with Kismetbaby about not holding onto your breast. I've heard that it can lead to blocked ducts even, although many moms have said they always hold the breast and never got plugged ducts. Instead of using your hand to move or point your breast, use both hands to move the baby into position. I'm not a good explainer...and not addressing the arm flailing at all...have you ever taken a look at the book Bestfeeding? One great thing, is it has photographs, so you can see how a woman with breasts like yours does it.

[pumpkinhead]

I folded one the bottom arm between them and me and once they were latched, I had an extra hand to deal with the other flailer .

Also, what is your letdown like? When you have a let down, does your other breast leak? If she pops off the breast, does it spray? Does she sometimes choke or sputter at the breast and/or let milk pour out of the sides of her mouth? If so, over active letdown could be a contributing factor in her pushing against you with her hands. If you can get that under control, it's possible that the behaviour will lessen or stop.

[lizsky]

Thank you all for your encouragement...this has been very discouraging and it really helps to hear some kind words and advice.

I appreciate the ideas about swaddling and trying different positions- She actually didn't scream one of the times I swaddled her so that is progress, but she did the other 3 times...I think I need to keep experimenting with the football hold...my attempts weren't very successful, but I think I need to play around with my supporting pillows.

I tried the suggestion to latch her on without holding my breast, but it seemed like it was even easier for her to back away from the breast and lose most of the aerola without the "clamp" of a hand on the head and a hand at the breast. Perhaps I'm missing something?

I'm still trying to figure out my body as far as let down goes. I don't seem to be leaking much at the beginning, although sometimes milk dribbles down her face in the middle of a feeding.

I really appreciate all the ideas and I'm trying to remain calm and keep working at it...hopefully we'll both get better at this soon.

[pumpkinhead]

Your milk doesn't generally let down until somewhere towards the middle of the feed. WOuld this correspond with the point at which she starts pushing away?

[strawberryprincess]

I've heard this really works great from an LC and LLL leader:

try recreating the first nursing after birth. take your shirt off, undress the baby down to a diaper, lay down in a comfortable reclined position. use pillows to prop your head, arms or whatever needs more support. lay baby on your chest and let her find your nipple by bobbing her head and rooting. often when newborn babies are in this position they are able to relax more fully. gravity can also help with overactive let-down if that is part of the issue.

also, as a pp said, age will help. a bigger, older baby usually has fewer problems with wiggling. Patience patience patience!! good luck!

[octobermom]

I really still have to hold my breast for my NB I alos did with my first at least for the first few months after that her tiny body grew enough to successfully keep latched on my massive boobs without help. I've also used a rolled up clot hdiaper or the edge of a nursing or regular pillow to help as well.

Deanna

[CrunchyChristianMama]

I always had to hold my breast as well when DD was tiny. They were so heavy that she couldn't keep it in her mouth otherwise! Thankfully once my supply leveled out, it was no longer a big issue. I could just hold it to get it in there then let go.

[mommy212]

I had the exact thing with my baby... he still wiggles a lot of 5 months now. I was simply very sore and frustrated because I had no idea how to fix it until it fixed itself... Have you tried cross cradle hold on a couple of pillows or a BFing pillow? that kinda helps sometimes. I know it is not encouraging but I was sored and cracked for about 2 months before I finally got toughened up

[ariatrance]

I'm going to try to describe what I did but I don't know if it will make sense (if you'll be able to picture it in your head).

If I was feeding from the left breast (my left), I would hold her head and body with my right arm. I directed my hand up her back, placing her left arm on the outside away from the breast as I crossed her shoulder and then cradled the back of her head. I then took my left hand and held my left breast until she achieved a good latch. I would then place her head in my left elbow (right hand still cradling), making sure her right arm was pinned to my left side, under my arm. My left arm could then help the right arm hold her body or type on the laptop.

I didn't have to continually hold my breast throughout the feeding because it was propped up in there with everything else. The wiggling lessened considerably as she gained more control over her body. You'll figure it out - it's a dance. Both partners have to learn the steps that make a smooth pattern.

[staceychev]

Originally Posted by lizsky

I appreciate the ideas about swaddling and trying different positions- She actually didn't scream one of the times I swaddled her so that is progress, but she did the other 3 times...

nak

try swaddling just her upper half to keep her arms under control but legs free

[PatioGardener]

Sometimes the wiggling starts as a reflex to a head hold - if you can hold at the neck, or very base of the head rather than have a hand on the bulk of her head that may help.

Good luck!

[gardenmommy]

Originally Posted by PatioGardener

Sometimes the wiggling starts as a reflex to a head hold - if you can hold at the neck, or very base of the head rather than have a hand on the bulk of her head that may help.

Good luck!

My first was like this. He hated having his head held (wow, just realized that every word in that sentence started with "h"!). I learned how to hold just very back of his head very lightly to help him latch on, and then to just support the side of his head with my arm.

It is a challenge, you are right, but don't give up just yet. The thing about babies is that what seems overwhelming right now changes very quickly, because they grow and change so fast. You are doing a wonderful job!