sleep issues with 1 yr old who's moved 6 times in 1 yr

[PicklinQueen]

Hi all, wasn't sure where to post this, maybe will crosspost in "life with a babe"
My little guy is turning 1 tomorrow, and in his short lifespan has moved 5 times already, and we are about to move again. All within the same town, but still, lots of changes.
We co-sleep in a kingsize futon , and he wakes up 4-5 times a night to nurse. Some nights are much more frequent waking, always to nurse.
I'm getting alot of pressure from my parents to move him to a crib, as well as CIO. they are convinced that we wake the baby up at night, which is why he won't sleep through the night.
I think that moving as many times as we have, the one constant has been the family bed, and nursing, so he relies on these to feel "at home".
I'm exhausted, and there are nights where he'll wake every 45 mins.
Any advice on nightweaning? Or should I wait until all the moves are done? We have one more after this one, into our own house. finally!
Anyone have any good responses to pressuring grandparents?
Now dp wanting to try CIO, and I am feeling like a failure on just about all fronts...
I do feel like he needs this one constant in his life until we are in a stable home. any tips on getting grandparents to stop the judging? And getting Dp to either help out ( i do all the nighttime parenting) or butt out?

[Jend1002]

Originally Posted by PicklinQueen

I'm getting alot of pressure from my parents to move him to a crib, as well as CIO. they are convinced that we wake the baby up at night, which is why he won't sleep through the night.

My son has never co-slept and sleeps in his own crib and until recently, woke sometimes hourly. So being in a crib is certainly not a guarantee for sleep!! He is in his own room too and hasn't been breastfed since 6 months. I tell you all of this because people are always trying to tell you why your little one won't sleep - and in lots of cases, they (and you!) have no idea.

[beebalmmama]

Sounds to me like you are saying your instincts are telling you the one constant and comforting thing for your ds is the family bed. Trust your instincts mama! As far as the parents are concerned, stop talking to them about your sleep arrangements and lack of sleep.
I was always more of the nighttime parent until ds weaned. Dh was very supportive of co-sleeping, I just think it is the nature of breastfeeding and mothering. So yeah either ask your dp to help out (in a way you find helpful) or to back off.

[odoole]

I agree with your decision to keep him with you. My DS and I are also doing a lot of traveling and moving and alhough I am hoping to get him out of bed sooner rather than later (we have a queen and it's getting cramped) I think all the moving is very disruptive and having you nearby makes him feel more secure at night. Remember sleep is a very vulnerable feeling for babies. If they wake up in a new place all the time, I think that is scary to them. I agree just don't discuss it. I don't think the night wakings would improve with him out of the bed - at least not until you all are settled in a more permanent arrangement.

[PicklinQueen]

thanks mamas for your advice and perspectives.
I wouldn't normally share our sleeping arrangements with my parents but unfortunately they are privy to them: we are living in their guest house until our new home is lead-free.
This whole confrontation stemmed from me mentioning that I would move our king-size futon into the barn (guest house), in passing. My mom put her foot down: we are not allowed to move things around in her house. As we are too broke for rental accommodation due to new house purchase and work, and most of our friends who live nearby either cannot accommodate us due to their own large families or have old farmhouses full of lead (and our crawling, mouthy one year old is definitely at that stage of always being on the floor and putting things in his mouth), we are at a loss to find another situation.
I really want to keep our little guy close until we are settled, and nursing, and your encouragement helps me feel as though I am doing the right thing. Thanks ladies! Back to the books: maybe I can find some litterature to support me in this endeavor, or at least convince my parents to stop pressuring us about how we are doing things.
SP is generally really supportive: I think that all this conflict plus too little dtd combine to motivate him towards CIO.
The lack of dtd is not in my case related to baby in our beed, as he tends to think, rather, too much stress in our live, period. sorry if tmi.

[Louisep]

Do your parents hear him wake in the night? If not, just tell them he's sleeping better. Re research to support your choices check out the reference section of this forum.

My ds hit a sleep regression at 5 months lasting until one year. It's a really common age for disrupted sleep. We travelled a lot from 7 months until 14 months so that had nothing to do with his sleep. I believe cosleeping and nursing was a constant. I partially night weaned after our move back home at one year and then fully night weaned (his choice) by 14 months. It didn't really help the wakings though, just something to consider.

Two pediatricians I use coslept with their children and think it's the best thing for a child -fwiw....