"making a mess with the food"- do you allow? - Page 2

[beckyand3littlemonsters]

all my lo's have been/are messy eaters but that doesn't always mean wasting it's just that they are clumsy eaters sometimes caitlin still ends up with food all round her mouth and on her clothes and she's almost 5 and caden's favourite food is my dad's homemade soup which he does often wear down his front and on his face lol

[Comtessa]

I suspect that in cultures where food is scarce, there are also not often such things as high chairs (for example) with trays allowing a child to smear food around and play with her/his food. When I lived in Chile none of my friends' infants sat in high chairs to eat; they sat on mama's lap and were fed bits of food by hand or from a spoon. Much less mess and waste. If you're concerned about allowing your little one to make a mess of food, you could always do it that way.

The book Our Babies, Ourselves has quite a bit of information about baby-rearing in other cultures; I think the author talks particularly about the fact that Italian families start their babies on solids extremely early, while in some African communities babies are exclusively breastfed into toddlerhood. She draws some conclusions from this sort of thing to show how different cultures understand babyhood and parenting. A very good read, if you're interested in that sort of thing.

ETA: we don't typically give DD anything that's too messy; she eats in the dining room and her food gets all over the rug, so I try not to give her anything I don't want to scrub later. Things like rice and peas are easily picked up by the vacuum. We never let her self-feed things like yogurt or purees. In restaurants, I always bring along some of those extra-large wipes so I can clean up the table & floor after she has eaten. I don't think it's fair to expect underpaid servers to clean up after my kid.

[hildare]

ooh- thanks, comtessa, for the book recommendation. i'm putting a library request in for it right now! i can't believe i've never looked at that one!

[babymommy2]

I agree that it is cultural. We've travelled to China several times with babies/toddlers and most kids at that age are being fed by spoon, even 4, 5 year olds, so we'd get some looks letting our baby or toddler eat him self. Several times people have expressed amazement that our kids could eat so well alone at age 3, 4, 5.
Just a few days ago at a chinese restaurant( in canada) some elderly (in thier 90's) aquaintances saw my 4 year old eating and commented this way. I would be shocked to see a 4 year old not eating alone without a big mess, as is generalll=y expected in canada/north america.

Just different ways of doing things in different cultures. You really don't realize how the things you do awhich you think everyone does and are so ingrained until you travel somewhere else and see that everyone does it different, and thinks you are the strange one. In china people were shocked at how early my children go to bed, and I was shocked how late they let their stay up,

[Comtessa]

Originally Posted by hildare

ooh- thanks, comtessa, for the book recommendation. i'm putting a library request in for it right now! i can't believe i've never looked at that one!

You're very welcome! Let me know what you think of it!

[Norasmomma]

Originally Posted by Comtessa

The book Our Babies, Ourselves has quite a bit of information about baby-rearing in other cultures; I think the author talks particularly about the fact that Italian families start their babies on solids extremely early, while in some African communities babies are exclusively breastfed into toddlerhood. She draws some conclusions from this sort of thing to show how different cultures understand babyhood and parenting. A very good read, if you're interested in that sort of thing.

I like that this shows different feeding practices in different cultures, it honestly makes me wonder if that also affects the genetic make-up. My DH is half Italian American and both our kids wanted solids at 4.5 months(like literally ripping food out of our hands and shoving it in their mouths).

I get what the OP was trying to convey in her post, I have to say I do a go-with the flow style of feeding. My kids both have had cereal/fruit purees, but so small amounts, I give them those mesh feeders due to the ease of them then I just put our dinner food in it. I have to say though once DD got older she dropped stuff on the floor due to the cause and effect situation. Gravity and 2 dogs were fascinating to her. That said we'd end that feeding time and that was that.

I do have to say one thing though, I would never tell a young baby no who is smearing food that is how they learn, their motor skills are just not fine tuned and they are learning. If that bothers you I'd say have the baby sit on your lap, I do both, sometimes I let them go for it and other times just give bites. I guess the best advice for me would be to go with what feels right to you.

[nina_yyc]

That depends on the goal. Is the goal "feed baby" or is the goal "distract baby so parents can get in a meal"?

[octobermoon]

still figuring this out too however i don't think it is a waste issue at all, for me it's more having to clean up the mess and also worrying about my carpet
that said i do think it's important for LOs to experiment with the textures, temperatures, practice dexterity etc....

[kriket]

I totally get what you are saying. I think I am in your husbands camp. Where I am not going to pretend that DS has never wasted a crumb of food. We don't let him throw food, or "uh-oh" food, as we call it. (Where they say "uh-oh" before it even leaves their hand? YKWIM.)

He is getting way more into food and I have to make him his own plate these days, but in previous days, he eats what I have. I always sit next to him at the table and give him pieces of what I am eating. If he throws it on the floor, he must be done. It's not like he is going hungry, I will give him more later, or he can always nurse.

Plus, it really doesn't go to waste, the dogs eat it

We grow a LOT of our own food. You tend not to waste things that you cursed at when they were seeds.

[saritajoy]

I second the recommendation for Our Babies, Ourselves - great book and resource to get a wider perspective on different child-raising techniques around the world.

I also got a lot out of reading the book Baby-led Weaning: Helping Your Baby to Love Good Food by Gill Rapley and Tracey Murkett

A couple things they mention that answer some of the questions you posed:
***your baby may get overwhelmed and want to "clear the decks" if served too much food, so better to give just a few options at a time
and
***babies learn table manners from watching how everyone else eats - this is why it's so important for the baby to be part of family mealtime and see how everyone else uses cutlery, table manners and interacts with one another

[wombatclay]

Second the idea of baby-led solids. We've used this approach with all three of ours now and it's a good way to side-step the stress and struggles. And we do feel that solid food is mostly experience, not nutrition, for the first year so that shapes our approach as well. The Dr Sear Baby Book is another nice source (Our Babies rocks though) and the Kellymom page linked above has dozens of links about introducing solids.

Anyway, since we're feeding our littles directly from the family plate there is less mess... while it's easy for a child to "throw" an apple or sweet potato wedge it doesn't have anything near the mess potential of applesauce or sweet potato mash!

So I think a lot of mess control comes from offering non-messy items. Three or four cheerios or rice puffs is plenty for exploring sensations and pincer grip and there isn't a lot of mess even if the whole thing gets dumped on the floor. Softer foods that do have a bigger mess potential get doled out in smaller amounts... avocado pieces or banana pieces often get served in mesh feeders (easier to get a grip on them) or if they've been mashed then just a small scoop goes on ds's plate. If I need a few hands free minutes I'll give ds a mummum or teething biscuit, but in general he sits on an adult lap or we all sit on the floor picnic style and hand him things to nibble.

And, well, I generally serve messier things right before the nighttime bath so if oatmeal goes in the hair there's no harm done. (actually, we used to strip dd1 down to a diaper for dinner since she was determined to use her own spoon from the start and a 7mo with a spoon is a force of nature... but even then there wasn't mess everywhere. It was just on her )

I think a certain amount of mess is normal during the early days of self feeding. Just like a certain amount of spit up while getting the hang of nursing, or a certain number of tumbles while learning to walk. The kiddo is figuring the whole process out and working on a whole new skill set. But by offering foods with a lower mess potential, or offering smaller portions, and waiting till they're really on top of the physical skills necessary I don't think you need to expect the sort of food-pocalypse cartoon image.

[Chamomile Girl]

Originally Posted by wombatclay

a 7mo with a spoon is a force of nature...

Hoo Boy that is the truth! LOL!!!

My kid loves the spoon too...

[Norasmomma]

Originally Posted by Chamomile Girl

Hoo Boy that is the truth! LOL!!!

My kid loves the spoon too...

Both of mine have loved the spoon, DD was always filthy, she's always been a "do it myself" kind of girl. DS just wants to be like all the big people, especially sister.

[sunshynbaby]

That's what dogs are for, lol! I'm big into the exploring food (aka make a mess) camp, though I admit there are times I don't let him have the spoon because I don't have time for the mess. I also schedule messy foods (like hard boiled egg yolk, avocado slices, and broccoli) around bath time to make life easier.